Solitude vs aloneness
I like solitude. It's easier for me to think and work when I'm alone.
I hate aloneness. I get lonely always being by myself, sleeping alone, living alone, going out alone.
Does anyone else feel this way?
3
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8 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I think at some point, everyone has a taste of this - even those that live with others !
The alone thing can be oppressive at times . But most of the time, I savor my solitude, and do my best to occasionally dilute it with some socializing. Just enough, not too much ! And I actually prefer sleeping alone (with cats). It's when I'm in bed and awake, that some company can be fully appreciated ...
evergreen
Level 8
Mar 10, 2019
1
Yeah there's clearly a huge difference and I can tell you there's no loneliness like the loneliness of a bad relationship. Better to be alone and lonely than not alone and lonely.
mordant
Level 8
Mar 9, 2019
3
Been there too
oh yes !
I've found that I may have spent too much time alone. When people want to come to my apartment, it feels weird sharing space with others. I don't think I could handle having a roommate and may have "trained" myself to be better alone. I've lived alone for more than 20 years now. I wouldn't say that I enjoy it so much as I'm used to it. I do get skin-hunger from time to time. And I really get bored with my choices in food, but I think I'm so accustomed to being alone that loneliness just feels like a part of the package.
Olnoseven
Level 7
Mar 9, 2019
3
In a way I admire you and inn a way I feel bad for you but I totally understand you. I just think I want it both ways, to be alone and to be with someone else, if that makes any sense. The last person I had a relation ship with and lived with worked so much, we rarely saw each other but he loved my cooking and I lived cuddling up when he was there. It was perfect. I doubt if that will ever happen again.
we are similar that way
@confidentrealm I understand. What we all want (myself included) is companionship without the annoyances and inability to escape the constant demands (and often, the constant misunderstandings). Since there's no escaping the human condition, I've come to the reluctant conclusion that I'm better off accepting that I will die as I was born and as I have mostly lived: alone. And quit fighting solitude and embrace it. After all, my personality is well-suited to it anyway.
During the interregnum between my 2nd wife's death and my 3rd marriage, I found the main downside of solitude was a need for some in-person human contact on a more or less daily basis. Doesn't have to be deep; if I had a conventional work life, just going to work every day would suffice to fulfill my need for human contact. Because I'm a telecommute, I learned to get it in other ways -- during that period, I had coffee every morning with a large group of men, no pressure, no agenda, no obligation to be talkative without fail, no obligation to even be there every day. It did the trick for me.
If I am ever flying solo again, I intend to do so all the way to the end of the path.
"skin-hunger" - a perfect description for that "feeling" of craving to be touched by another human ...
(sigh)
I don't typically do so well alone or in solitude...
seattlepanda
Level 7
Mar 9, 2019
1
I need time alone to create but I hate not having a life partner and best friend. I'm very lonely.
You wrote it exactly right. I too enjoy my solitude at times so I can meditate and try to get my mind in a calm space. The constant aloneness though is very hard, especially at night.
Redheadedgammy
Level 9
Mar 9, 2019
1
I'm going to the art gallery in Richmond tonight. They are having a reception 4-7. 310 Morton St. If you want, we can meet there. Not sure what time I'll be there but they want me to show my work there and help them run the place. I'm thinking about it.
@confidentrealm I would love to go and meet you but I'm taking care of an older lady who has mental health issues for the weekend so would not be able to go. I will send you a private message with my phone number and perhaps we could meet at another time. Thank you for the invitation. ?
@sweetcharlotte I'll look her up. Thanks.
Get a dog.
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Mar 9, 2019
0
I have a cat
@confidentrealm not at all the same thing! Dogs say "Look at me! Play with me!" until you do!
for me, I can have a dog, cat, child, friend and still feel alone...without an intimate partner...
@seattlepanda exactly
@seattlepanda, @AnneWimsey my cat is like that at times. He likes to sit on my book when I'm trying to read.
@confidentrealm being needy is Very unattractive!
@AnneWimsey then there is my cat
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