You greatly misunderstand polyamory then.

@Blindbird I'm here to learn. Sometimes words morph and definitions in application expand from the simple or incomplete.

@Silver1wun I've read just a bit about it and I know a handful of poly couples.

I am by no means an expert. From what I've seen though it's an A) an answer to the problem of how to maintain relationships long term and B) all about consent and communication.

We all know that more than half of all marriages fail and we all know that infidelity is one of the most common reasons. Poly couples acknowledge that one can be attracted to and maintain relationships with more than one individual. So when a new relationship is formed the old one is not thrown out like yesterdays trash but allowed to grow and evolve.

One of the things I personally find very attractive about the practice is the respect and space accorded to each partner. There seems to be so much communication and care taken not to transgress one another's boundaries. Everything is discussed and everyones feelings and thoughts are considered.

There are all types of poly relationships but the ones I've personally been witness to are most definitely not helter skelter jumping into bed with random people. Partners are carefully chosen and vetted. The process generally seems to take longer than forming a relationship (in the usual way)does because there are multiple people involved and the relationships are carefully organised to reflect that.

@Blindbird Thank you for the additional information and insight.

Although I wouldn't stretch a description to gross misunderstanding, what I expressed meant only singularity of sexual intimacy; not eliminating other close, caring relationships because of it's existence. The miss as likely resulted from my lack of clarity as anything else. Probable differences in views of what sexual intimacy entirely means, might also account for some missing of point.

For example, I agree in principle that opportunities to experience relationships with other people, including the opposite sex, ought not be missed because of insecurities in a primary bond. Polyamory seems represented as a means of overcoming that state for some.

We might also differ on this point: Most 'romance' based relationships are formed too early in the process of acquainting for a secure state of common familiarity to develop. This results in a weaker bonding because mutual and self-trust; self-trust meaning one's own perceptions and judgment of the other person's character and values. Influences like religion and culturally sacrosanct attitudes about such things interfere with 'knowing each other completely' delaying and even preventing that kind of outcome.

The assertion relating to Nature included only coitus as being exclusive. My personal life partially exemplifies what I mean. Without details, suffice to say that the love of my life is now primarily bonded with a different man while our bond, love and dedication to one another in all other ways remains. There was never even a slight bit of hostility or disappointment as the changes occurred because we had a thorough understanding of each others' characters. For my part, I recognized that he would be a better 'match up' for her in ways that I'm not. It isn't in either of our make-ups to consider each others optimal happiness important ONLY if it includes us exclusively. So, I understand your trash reference and sympathize with it as tragic, unnecessary loss.

@Silver1wun agreed. I've seen people who still love each other very much separated over these issues. It often causes both parties unnecessary pain and I consider it one of the chief arguments for polyamory.

Another point I forgot to mention earlier is their attitude towards jealousy. Jealousy is viewed as a maladaptive and unhealthy emotion. It's treated almost as an illness. The "afflicted" party is helped to work through their jealousy and discard it. Much as an older sibling might be treated when a new baby comes along. This seems so much healthier to me. I honestly cannot think of any situation which jealousy solves or makes better.

I understand that some people use polyamory to emotionally abuse their partner/s but the same can be said of any other relationship type. I think that problem lies with the individual and not the concept.

I have a married-couple set of friends who are religionists AND polyamorous. I have often wondered about that. They define it as polyamory rather than polygamy.

And because I had a moment to look it up, Polyamory means "many loves."

Polygamy means "many marriages," and is rooted in religion and what awaits them in the afterlife.

Yes! Precisely--the difference is important to note. In summation, I think that the relationship between being religious vs. non-religious, monogamous vs. polyamorous, really comes down to personal experience, interpretation, and preference, and the choices we make about how to approach our relationships are highly individualized and may have everything to do with our religious views, or nothing to do with them at all.