Thank you all for sharing your stories and wisdom. I'm still not sure where I stand on this subject, but at least now I don't feel so alone. That means a lot to me.

I don't know how long has it been for you since the divorce, but of course you would feel this way. Give it time, reflection, grief, and everything in between. Of course you can love, chemicals in that brain don't go anywhere, ya know! I think the hardest thing when getting out of such a commited relationship, is learning to be yourself, by yourself, and whole. Best of luck to you, and don't give up. I think learning to be comfortable within own's company is an important step to healing and moving on.

When my ex asked for a divorce, she threw a ton of my faults at me verbally (both real and perceived), yet she said that "I needed to find a better match". I'm not even sure if she meant it in the sense that I interpreted it, which was that we had drifted so far apart that I did need to find someone who matched up with me better, and while I may no longer have met her standards, I could/would find someone that day who I could pair up with to better results, so I guess I saw the silver lining in the cloud for a relationship in the future.

Yah I know what you mean.

After my first marriage ended, I swore I'd never get in a relationship again. It took years for me to open up, but it happened.

I'm starting to get the hang of this. Don't try to "make it work." First, review all the warning signs, danger alerts, and everything else that would clue you in that you have fallen for someone who you really don't want too close to you in your life. Then, wait until you end up with the overwhelming feeling that you have to put this person above all others, and double check that list. Only then, only if this person passes the warning sign checklist, if the feeling is mutual then get to work and keep working forever.

I am right there with you. You wrote pretty much exactly how I feel.

I spent way too many years in a loveless and sexless marriage. I now have serious doubts as to if men actually feel and can be in love. Cynical much Marcie?

Just get on with living. there is a huge differance between need and want.

Romance is wonderful , but not enough by itself . Romance is like decorating a house . If the structure of the foundaton is not solid , no matter how pretty it is , it won't stand over time . On the other hand , if the foundation is strong , but the atmosphere of the house is dull and dreary , well , who'd want live a lifetime in dull and dreary ?

I sympathize. After my last relationship I thought "I do not think I'll ever truly love again" but 5 years later I met a man who brought back the giddy butterflies and made me believe I could love again someday. I think you can too.