I am way different in culture, values, and lifestyle than most people in my area, which I am just fine with and have been my whole adult life. However, when I attempt to find someone compatible to date, it really does work against me and becomes a big challenge. Being way different from the herd around you is fine when you are off the market and smugly in a LTR, but when you aren't and looking, it is a very discouraging numbers game in which you face long odds.

Aside from one preferred sex act.. what do you feel really good about when you accomplish that? if you stay in that neighborhood, most likely you will be less bored. Then there are other things necessary to live...I find I do not like a lot of them, but I do them anyway! At least, I mostly feel successful about my life...tho simple as it is. Actually, I try to keep it as simple as possible.

Don't worry you fit in here

Why would you care how you compare. That is for folks in their teens and twenties.

Love yourself and don't worry about comparing yourself to other people.

All my life, I have felt like I don't belong on this planet. I'm too sensitive, intelligent, high energy, intense and optimistic.

As a Democrat, feminist, environmental and atheist, I'm a fish out of water in conservative, Christian Eastern Washington. I often feel at odds with American public opinion.

Does that stop me? No. I make friends with people who share my love of nature, literature, music or hiking, who like me for who I am. I joined:

1. Women's hiking group
2. Library book club
3. Democrats of North Central Washington
4. Cascade Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
5. Citizens for Peace

I realize I'm not going to the point of your post, but- does it really matter how "different" you are from other people? You're you. I'm me. I realized decades ago that I'm smarter (or at least know a lot more facts; not necessarily the same thing all the time) than most people around me; I like different things; in some cases I like the same things; I derive a quiet enjoyment from puzzling people with my sarcastic wit.

I decided back in grad school that people can either love me or hate me, that's their choice, but damned if they're going to be able to ignore me. So I have a slightly loud personality. People know where I stand when they ask me something. I have no problem letting idiots know they're idiots.

Also, I've been biologically incapable of fathering children for 15 years (it would have been dangerous for my ex to get pregnant again, so I took one for the team). But that didn't diminish my enjoyment of all kinds of activity.

I don't mind being an outsider to an extent; I relish it. The people who get me, really get me. And when I find someone of the opposite sex who gets me, the results are going to be spectacular.

So why not celebrate yourself?

It seems to me that you're going through a low point right now. I sympathize; I've been there. But the first step is accepting yourself. (This has been your Pop Psych 101 lesson for the day; it's also something I struggled with for a long time before realizing that I couldn't change for someone else, I needed to find someone who accepts who I am.)

Hey Fred, seems to me like you like doing plenty of fun things that many people enjoy as well. You say you're an outcast but seem to inflect an urge for community and friendship. People spend a third of their day working in isolation or with a team and both can be stressful. I recommend looking for work catered to introverted individuals. That way you can spend a third of your day solo then find a group of like minded people where you live and plan outings. If you trouble finding a group near you then make one and post flyers and online ads promoting your outings. A nice mix of individual and social time makes for a great balance. We need people in our life to love! without that we are nothing but apes. We are here for you brother. Peace