First off, keep fighting brother.
Each day, hour, and minute you chose to control the beast is an accomplishment unto itself.

Second, agreed.
In this context keep in mind that those around you may not be as self reflective or self aware as you are. In this also that many lack the self love to believe in themselves, to learn to love their own self and accept their faults and mistakes.

Most can't owe up to it and instead use the crutch of religion and passing such amazing self growth, change, and accomplishment to an imaginary "other".

My opinion leaning on religion and depending on an emotional self delusion cheapens the personal accomplishment. It also leaves open a door for relapse and a scapegoat "The sky god forsook me!" without personal ownership and lack of control.

Religion is an addiction and using it to fight your addiction is just like using methadone for a heroin addiction.

You just trading one man's used spoon for an empty book of lies.

[americanaddictioncenters.org]

Here are non religious alternatives to AA.

You're not alone. I got sober going to AA and stayed sober for almost nine years. But I began to doubt that a supernatural power existed and I drifted away from them. When I admitted to myself that I was in fact an atheist until such time as evidence for the supernatural could be demonstrated using the scientific method I fell into a deep depression and relapsed. I've been in therapy for depression and I'm sober again now. It took time for me to accept that there's nothing wrong with not having faith. I choose now to believe in evidence and I see no reason to believe in a creator. I'm no longer depressed and I do believe a person can recover from drugs and alcohol without belief in a higher power. I still practice the principals in regards to honesty with myself and others, I still take a moral inventory and make amends when necessary, and I still try to carry the message to others that they can get sober and offer my experience when asked. It's worked so far. I don't believe recovery is exclusive to those with faith. I think if you really want to be sober you can do it regardless of your beliefs or lack thereof. I've been looking online and there are more and more secular recovery groups popping up for people like us. I think being part of a recovery community when getting sober and maintaining sobriety is very useful and I'm trying to find a secular recovery group in my area because I miss that sense of community. Don't give up, you can do this without having to sacrifice your critical thinking ability. Do some research and see if there's a secular recovery group in your area. And if you're having trouble feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to. I can give you my email in a PM if you want. Just remember you're not alone.

Try to look for S.M.A.R.T groups in your area they are non religious think it's set up by atheists who were fed up with AA

I am active with a Humanists group, and several of our members are active with a program called Smart Recovery [smartrecovery.org] It is a secular organization, and very sucessful in treating addictions of all types.

Recovery programs in general have low success rates, regardless of their approach. Most rely on some sort of social cohesion. So at AA, you have a support group of like-minded people as it regards addiction. Accept it for what it is, without buying into the nonsense. Addiction is tough, good luck.

I did a attend one meeting with my ex roommate who was in the program. Almost all members were deeply religious. I found it disturbing that most give thanks to God only for their sobriety. The term ridiculous atheism and ridiculous agnosticism was mentioned about eight times during the meeting. It was bad enough for me to highly recommend an AA meeting for non-believers instead of a traditional AA meeting.

There are other programs that don't engage in religious nonsense. Unfortunately, they aren't as accessible as AA.

A family member that I'm particularly close to asked me to attend an AA meeting with them. Wanting to be supportive, I went, and was absolutely appalled at the level of religiosity. I suppose if it's working for people, that's fine, but I certainly wish non-believers had more options.

Boy Scouts are the same, I was a leader and an atheist. The whole higher power facade is just a mask they put over their religious belief to make the pill easier to swallow.

@Green_Chile_Type The real question is, is it helping you to stay sober and most importantly, to recover?.

"...the pulse of deism beats pretty strong underneath. " True. When I attended Alanon meetings, and told them I was not a believer, they insisted that the system was not religious in nature and my "higher power" could be the group. Nevertheless, they always ended the meeting with "The lord's prayer." So, so much bullshit.

[smartrecovery.org]

You have the power to stay on your road. It doesn't take a "higher" or outside power. Those who believe in the "higher power" are no more or less likely to recover than atheists. They've just transferred a dependency to some outside agency.

I will say that people need a support network of some kind, be it friends, family, what have you, and AA can provide that, especially the company of others who are going through the same process and are mutually supportive. It's hard to be around people who don't actually get what you're going through. (I know this, I have a degree of PTSD from the amount of time and experiences I've built up in Corrections... it's hard to deal with people who think we sit around drinking coffee all day, we're not real law enforcement, we don't deal with real criminals... well, actually that's all we deal with... but I digress...)

The pastor where my ex goes to church says the same spiel every week: "I know I'm a sinner, and I need a savior." From what I've seen of AA etc., there's a lot of similarity to that; the organization seems to think that people need saving and can't get there on their own willpower.

I've been bothered by that part of 12 step groups for 27 years, but I consider it my problem, if its a problem at all. While I don't believe as most of them do, and while it used to offend me to recite some of their prayers, I now simply consider the recital of these prayers (Serenity Prayer, etc.) as a ritual removing myself from the rest of the day and celebrating the group as a unit. The prayer itself doesn't mean much to me, but the intention behind it, the unity of the group, the holding of hands and quoting the prayer together, is all that really matters. It wouldn't need to be a prayer, and frankly I would prefer if it weren't, but I don't need it. I realized over the years that I was just trying to elevate myself above others in the room, and I've learned that isn't necessary either. In other words, I try not to take myself so seriously. I let them have what they want, and remind them when necessary what I need for me, what I'm willing to engage in, and what I won't tolerate from them. Those that don't get that or understand it never will anyway, and I tolerate their presence in the group but not in my personal life.

I've wondered how these programs work for Athiests and now I have an idea. I'm glad you are going even though this aspect of it makes it difficult. They LOVE to feel like they've "done something for the Lord" that's why they are easy to speak up in your meetings. My Mother used to shame me every Sunday if my 1st husband and I didn't go to church. Her church. One Sunday I even got so angry that during an altar call she she stepped out and took him by the hand and pulled him up front to get "saved". I was so angry and she just said that she felt "led by the Lord" to do it. I was thinking even that far back that there was something wrong with religion, that it was literally "unbelievable". I hated being forced to go every time the doors were opened to that place. I never told her that the reason I didn't go anymore was that she was shoving it down my throat although I do remember using that phrase to her before. I'm sorry if I went off on a rant here. You triggered some memories for me.

If recovery works then the least important aspect is the subtext. Worry about that when you are clean. Most recovering addicts I have worked with don’t give a shit about religious or philosophical angles. They just want to get well.

IMHO, the only so called "higher power", is you.

If I were you, I would do some googling about evidence of effectiveness of AA and 12 step programs. Studies show that they are no better than quitting on your own. Also that they can cause harm because of how they treat small infractions. They are faith based and that might make it even less likely to work for you. You may want to try something else. I could provide links, but don't like clicking on things.

I agree with you. I went to codependents anonymous for two years and learned some things that have helped me grow. I was constantly thinking, though, that statements made my some didn’t apply to me, or applied poorly

It is faith based.

I could not agree with you more. I had my last drink on July 29, 1997, and was a pretty spiritual person at the time. However, as reason and logic created enough cognitive dissonance that I finally came to my senses, I found the fellowship to be much less inclusive. In fact, theism was a huge influence in my decision to quit regularly attending meetings about 10 years ago. Some of the most hateful and mean treatment I ever had shown to me was from AA's who did not like that I was an "unbeliever". It finally became so distracting and unpalatable that I rarely go anymore (in fact, it has probably been almost two years since I have attended a meeting).

AA is a religious cult. They claim otherwise so they can get government funding.

I always liked the phrase "a higher power" instead the word "God." It implies God is stoned out of his gourd and that explains way too much.

I think it depends somewhat on the area of the country as to how religious people are as well as how open minded & inclusive they are. & usually it's one or the other. Good luck with your sobriety!

My sister is a recovering addict... to everything you can think of. Here’s the truth and I know I’ll catch shit. She started “recovery” through a church group that took her in after an abusive asshole did unforgivable things to her. I agree they’re fishing the bottom of the barrel to boost their numbers. But it was her only option at the time. She’s been addicted to one substance or another for 20+ years. Every phone call I expected someone to tell me she died. I watched my beautiful, intelligent sister turn into a toothless, drooling animal. She had modeling contracts and scholarships, y’all. I feel grateful and lucky she found someone to help her up when she needed it. I don’t believe it’s divine intervention or anything so droll. Only insane luck. I have my sister she is alive. It’s a crutch and a stepping stone back to the world. She calls me and talks about her schooling and her job not her asshole friends and rapist boyfriends. Bottom line. I’d much rather have my sister who “found God” than any version of her dead. Also, I see a lot of criticism of AA but nobody offering any viable alternatives.