Here in Italy, or at least in this part of Italy, the church bells play a little ditty at 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. It's the same tune every day. My hypothesis is that it is a Catholic hymn. Here are the words I imagine the Catholics singing at mass:
Those who are not Catholics are all going to Hell.
And we are so glad because we can't stand their smell.
They stink; their stench is driving us nuts.
That's why we like to kick them in their butts.
12
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11 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Well, at least it's a little ditty, not just a boring "dong, dong dong" as we usually have in America. Funny to make up a little rhyme to go with it. I also have a habit of making up little songs to familiar tunes, mostly to entertain kids (and also myself, to be honest!)
Julie808
Level 8
May 15, 2019
2
I am in the habit of putting new words to existing tunes. Sometimes they're a bit risqué. I blame my songs on my "Shameless Inner Poet." LOL
What are you doing in Italy. I just read your bio and I am so sorry. Have you looked for your children? They may have left the church by now.
Your lyrics made me laugh.
I was in Morocco for 6 weeks and their was loud wailing very early in the morning. We never made up any lyrics though. I guess because they had their own, I just couldn't understand them.
Stephanie99
Level 8
May 14, 2019
1
I have had limited contact with my daughter, but my son wants no contact at all. They are both still Mormons. About 4 years ago, my daughter gave up on me, and stopped all contact, too. But the break-up of my family took place 30 years ago. I have moved on, and am happier than ever now.
I have a condo in Italy, and enjoy coming here for three months every year. Being retired, I can travel as much as I please.
I'm glad you got a kick out of the lyrics. Some people fail to see the humor, and accuse me of spreading hatred. To me, it's just a joke. I have no prejudice against the Catholics. The ones I know are fine people. 
@BestWithoutGods I have a daughter that doesn't talk to anyone. It's hard but I feel like I need to respect her wishes.
@Stephanie99 I understand.
When I lived in Cuenca Ecuador the house we were renting was a block down the hill from a small cathedral and they not only rang the bells at sunrise but they also set off a barrage of fireworks on Saints Days, also at the crack of dawn or around midnight. It turns out that the Catholics have a lot of saints that are worthy of fireworks. 
Surfpirate
Level 9
May 14, 2019
2
I want to visit Cuenca one day. I thought about moving there after I retired, and then my children started having children, so I'm not moving. But Cuenca is still on my bucket list.
@HippieChick58 The air is a bit thin and the weather is actually quite cool and rainy for much of the year. International Living really hyped it for several years as a retirement haven, most of the expats I knew there have moved on, especially the ones who didn't learn spanish.
@Surfpirate Thanks! Good to know. I haven't looked into International Living in several years, and I have a few years til I can really retire.
Now that sounds like fun religion. Dear ole Catholics have got saints coming out of their ears. I love that part of their faith. Just like the gods of the ancient world except they’ve got Westernised names. Something comforting about St Kevin instead of Ashtar or Baal!
@HippieChick58 I have a friend who used to write for IL, you have to take what you read on the internet with a salt lick of salt. 
@HippieChick58, @Geoffrey51 Mix in a bit of Pachimama from the Inca culture (lots of people still speak Quechua as the first language in Ecuador) and you have some interesting cultural displays.
@Surfpirate Fer sure!!
Petter
I'm sure you're correct and ode to Joy is an adulation of God.
The funny thing is I have always interpreted Schiller's original German words as being in praise of being drunk Perhaps my translation is too literal.
Fretherne1
Level 7
May 14, 2019
4
Love it!!
This is what you're getting out of your days in Italy?
Spinliesel
Level 9
May 14, 2019
2
I'm getting much more than this. It's just a little detail I thought might give some of my friends a laugh.
Can you dance to it?
WonderWartHog99
Level 8
May 14, 2019
2
I could if I wanted to. 
@BestWithoutGods "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing." -- Count Basie.
@WonderWartHog99 My signature dance move is a kind of butt-jiggle. It usually makes people laugh. Whenever I act in a show in my hometown in Tennessee, I try to work it in somewhere. Next time I hear that ditty on the bells, I'll do the butt-jiggle in honor of Count Basie.
@Cast1es: Why the "Hmmmm"? Do you not see the humor in it? I'm just poking fun at the intolerance displayed by many churches. To be fair, The Catholics here are nice people. Especially under the current pope, they seem to be more tolerant than ever in their long history. Maybe I'm projecting my Mormon background onto the Catholics, but this is just what I imagine religious people singing about others, not of their own faith.
BestWithoutGods
Level 8
May 14, 2019
0
Maybe it's your US heritage showing through.
Here, Catholics along with most other Christian sects in Europe, are mainly tolerant. Perhaps it's because of the higher public profile of Agnostics and Atheists.
I never have a problem declaring my atheism in a conversation. Often others declare their atheism or doubts about Christian dogma. Seldom is it a big deal.
I love looking around and admiring old cathedrals. I even leave money in the offertory, regarding it as a museum exit fee.
Have you seen inside the Duomo of Milan, and taken a walk on the roof?
@Petter I, too, enjoy sightseeing cathedrals. The architecture and art are often stunning, even if the subject matter is mere myth. Yes, I have been in the Duomo of Milano. Lovely place. I have not been on the roof, though. I never leave money to a religious place. I can think of much better uses for it.
@BestWithoutGods If you get a chance, explore the roof. The stone-work is like an impressive lace filligree. Hope you weren't ripped off by the nearby coffee shops!
@Petter got to agree totally. I’ve been to a quite a few countries in the world and the only places that I have had a sideways glance for not being Christian is in America, especially N Carolina and Texas and a slight curiosity in Maine. No problems in the other New England states. In Europe my experience is that they are more concerned if you are an honest person than the god or non-god you adhere to.
You're teaching yourself to hate . You repeat it twice a day . You could chose to be loving . But repeating hate's your way . Again , first to submit , but no double points .
Cast1es
Level 9
May 14, 2019
1
I'm chuckling more than hating. If I took it seriously it would be hatred. But I don't. It's more a joke than anything.
Some of my best friends are Catholic. And the Catholics here are very nice, even when I tell them I'm an atheist. I do not hate the Catholics. Not at all. I think they are misled by a myth, but that does not make me hate them.
My first exposure to Beethoven were hymns at Catholic mass, the 9th in particular.
godef
Level 7
May 14, 2019
2
The fourth movement of his ninth symphony, "Ode to Joy", is a magnificent choral adulation of God, based on the words of the poet Hans Schiller, but has since been used, orchestrally and so without words, as the anthem of the European Union.
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