Like you I periodically find myself having thoughts of, "it would be nice". Chosing to live an honest/ rational like takes a lot of courage and is a tough path to take. I honor your choice.
Take Care

thinking about the future is depressing for many ppl. and it gets worse with age.
hard to avoid doing. some ppl manage to stay so busy that they never have time to dwell on the future. i'm not one of them, but i envy them.

Both. Take comfort in being honest with yourself and brave enough to face the reality without leaning on worthless philosophies.

So sorry for your losses. Grieving is hard. I hope you have at least a few people in your circle that will hear you, as you make sense of life. We seem to need to do that, as long as we are alive, because things crop up that we never expected, much less wanted. My best to you.

Death is a sad topic. Often a taboo one. We just don't like talking about it....I'm guessing because of our eventual demise being so certain. But Richard Dawkins came out with a short story....a "meme" if you will...that gives me comfort....

On that, I would advise you to find comfort in something, not necessarily religion. Something that you like doing and helps you clear your head. Be it sports, music, art or any other activity.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

As for your question, in the long run you will be better off with the truth.

I find comfort in creating artwork. I like things that are more tangible. I think people waste much time praying. They should write or paint or anything creative they enjoy instead of talking to themselves and reading texts written and interpreted by hundreds of people over thousand of years. Write your own story. Make something. Just my opinion.

Hereditary disposition for addiction doesn't mean you will just better chance seen it before take time recover nothing you can do

If you can, take a month to travel by yourself and with your family to a place very different from your current place. People don't typically know how beneficial travel is to the self and to the family.

Sometimes getting away from your current life and thoughts is what you need to reset and reconnect with yourself and your family. Call it rebooting the system, restarting the program, whatever suits ya.

But it has to be a long time like a month and in a totally new place...new people, new culture. Something unconnected to anything you've experienced.

I think you and your family will feel better.

Sorry for your loss.

As an atheist since age 13, I comfort myself with:

Meditation, reading, hugs, talking with friends, music ( listening and playing flute), journal-writing, exercise, hiking and enjoying the beauty of the great outdoors.

Also, I see a counselor when needed.

I take comfort in the truth.

To thine onself be true.

You’ve got to do whatever gets you through. If getting involved in a religion, doing charity work or even joining a tiddlywinks club gives you solace do it. If anyone else cares that’s their problem not yours. However it goes, I wish you love and luck on your journey.