I'm so sorry. That sounds stressful. I know i would not like that myself.

Ugh. I am in similar situation with same immobility. My dad had to die to get out of her verbal abuae and vocal dissatifcation.

One thing i tell my kids when they bitch about me or siblings, "go tell your friends, not your mother. I don't talk about you to you." ... That unfortunately will not work with my mom.

Stay strong and keep venting it out. If you internalize you'll start believing her words. And you're better than that!

Miss Manners covered something like this once. She said to say " How kind of you to notice" and repeat it each time they do it to you. Then change the subject to the weather, the ball game anything non person and then leave the room before it comes around again to you. It worked for me on my mother-in-law.

Yes both parents were/are fckd up. Have you tried the approach used with narcs called grey rock method?

"The Gray Rock Method gives you an option of blending in so that you no longer serve as a target for that person. Gray Rock provides a safe and effective way to dull the impact you have around these people, and they will eventually just leave you alone. If you can’t cut them out of your life completely, try separating yourself from them as much as possible. If you need to be in the same room as them, distract yourself with your phone. Don’t be present for conversations.

Answer short answers and don’t engage in conversation. At first, they will become frustrated by your inaction, but they’ll eventually see that there is no getting ahead with you and they’ll move on to someone else.

If they aren’t getting what they want: satisfaction from hurting other people or manipulating them, they’ll find another source of that satisfaction.

When the person enters the room, do your best to just leave.

Continue to remind yourself that what they think and do is not a reflection of you and that they can hold all the opinions and thoughts they want.

You don’t have to give into any of it. You don’t have to allow them the space in your mind to take over your thoughts. You don’t even have to do much more than just smile and nod at them.

You can keep your thoughts and feelings close to your chest – they won’t come looking for them anyway and you get out of the conversation unscathed and feeling like you were in control instead of feeling like you got railroaded by them."

Hope the tips/method helps you!

What makes you think you have to point anything out? Don't you think she knows exactly what she is doing? I tolerated my alcoholic, wife beating, narcissistic bastard of a father into my early fifties and then did what I should have done 30 years earlier. I completely cut him off. That's my advice. No daughter should tolerate the treatment you are getting. Some people just don't deserve being part of your life. I don't care who they are.

Have you ever researched narcissistic personality disorder? Hyper-criticism, combined with extreme sensitivity and a penchant for doling out the silent treatment are classic narcissist behaviors.
You might browse on toxic narcissists or narcissist parents and find that there is a pattern that many others have experienced.
On a completely unrelated note () there is an abuse survivors group here.

it's difficult to accept. but some parents/children just do not like each other.

Good luck!

I have a toxic family. My father was extremely critical and passed away from Alzheimer's. My younger sister and I were very close, but it always seemed that my mom needed a scapegoat, so she would try to get us to confide in her and talk about each other. When my poor sister became mentally ill, she took my place as the scapegoat, and I participated in a toxic relationship in which I attacked her in order to gain favor with my mom. After my sister died from suicide I was punished for this with rumination and guilt. My sister was very loving and loyal to me, but I betrayed her. After the death my mom went for counciling but still continues to blame and gossip about others. I finally came to the realization that, since she is now my only living close relative, I must accept the fact that she can not change. Our relationship is close since I've come to realize she is now old and lonely, and see need each other for support. I decided to never let her know how I really feel, and that in some ways she failed as a parent. At this point, it wouldn't be productive and I don't see the need of punishment. I think she knows deep down inside, even though I console her.

There comes a time that no matter what my parents say to me after age 50, i do what i feel is right for my own happiness. they have their life I have mine, they did their job and raised me, and i love them very much, but not only they but no one leads my life for me except me.

Your mother sounds pretty unhappy. She is the one with the problems, not you. I know it is easy for me to give advice and not so easy for you to take it....so I won’t. The fact that you have let off steam to us may help just a little. I will just say this though....no matter what she says or does, try to remember that her words are just that, words, and words can’t really hurt unless you allow them to. You know your own worth, don’t let anyone make you feel less than that, not even your mother....especially not your mother.

Both parents INSISTED, with physical force & emotional pressure, that I be perfect. Anything less than an A+ in any school subject was cause for a Lot of punishment, denigration, including whipping with the buckle end of a belt. One time I got a B+ in Art and burst into hysteria, so badly the teacher altered the report card (not the actual grade).
So, I ended up getting pregnant at 17, to escape, marrying a wife-beater, because being beaten when things weren't "perfect" felt natural.....
Over it now, and does it feel Great! Only took about 40 years.......

My mom is extremely critical of how I look, talk, who I date, and how I walk. I kid you not. Things were extreme when I was a teenager and I ran away from home. Over the years she's been critical of my home, my career, my friends, my clothing, my hair and how I handle money. I've had to cut her and my now deceased dad off periodically over the years.

Sounds like your mother is venting as well...nothing will change exception your reaction to it...

My Mom was critical with me until I turned 17 and went to college, then it's like a switch was turned off. She hasn't bugged me since. I'm 57