During the 18th & 19th centuries, 'The Good' with all its theocratic over tones became 'the goods' of a consumer driven society. The utilitarianism master principal: "it is the greatest happiness of the greatest number that is the measure of right and wrong." reshaped the world in its 'scientific' approach to measure happiness, which has seriously messed western civilization up. Sickness became part of an economic model, as in not available to work, and not in terms of suffering. The reliance on scientific measure smoothed out particulars in favor of universals. Mental capital became a reality in western culture and it led to a toxic and cruel positivity, with its piles self help books. Psychoanalysis became measurable with the introduction of CBT, and Freud was dropped in favor of chemical imbalances [big pharma's role in DSM].

I tend to value contentment over happiness. This is mostly a function of noticing and appreciating what you have rather than what you don't. Also, understanding that a lot of the bright shiny objects that we seek, are illusory or not at all lasting.

Some of those "bright shiny objects" seem really compelling because you imagine them as you wish they were, but in reality, they aren't that great or are entirely without substance to begin with. When I was young, I was an incurable romantic, always dreaming of endless perfect love, free of conflict or disappointment or confusion. Yeah right, the kind of love that doesn't actually exist except once in a great while by dumb luck and for a short time. But we keep seeking it, regarding it as the brass ring we are after at all costs. We cast off perfectly fine relationships because they don't meet that standard of perfection.

It wasn't until I was willing to cohabit with an actual human, warts and all, that I got ANY of the benefits of a long term relationship. Part of that was realizing I wasn't entitled to be happy and catered to in that way. A lot of our ambitions in life are based around a sense of entitlement rather than any realistic expectation.

If I hadn't done that I would be one bitter old man, because I've had way more unwanted drama than I would have preferred, way less sex, way more speed bumps and buzz kills and frustrations than my privileged youthful self considered my birthright. In short, I'd be "unhappy".

As it is, I'm enjoying that I'm not out in the rain, have my bills paid, am doing work I enjoy, have a family who loves me "anyway" and who I love "anyway". I'm not paying much attention to my aches and pains and anxieties or disappointments or sorrows because WTF would that accomplish? This is contentment.

One commentator I read spoke concerning the Danish and their status as generally the "happiest country" but said as a small country of modest means and ambitions, they are really not so much happy as secure and content. They have no major worries, minimal class conflicts, everyone feels respected and their highest ambition is "hygge", a cozy and comfortable home environment. Maybe that is something to emulate rather than the zero-sum game we always seem to be playing in the US and much of the West, of besting our neighbors in terms of status and wealth.

Happiness is from inside you! "Chasing" it leads to sadness & frustration, always has, always will

This discussion makes me think of a recent TED Interview with David Brooks about his new book, The Second Mountain. In it he offers his definitions of -- and contrasts between -- happiness and joy. "“Happiness comes from accomplishments; joy comes from offering gifts. Happiness fades; we get used to the things that used to make us happy. Joy doesn’t fade. To live with joy is to live with wonder, gratitude and hope. People who are on the second mountain have been transformed. They are deeply committed. The outpouring of love has become a steady force.”

I think the "gifts" can really be as modest as giving attention, being vulnerable, building the most human of connections between two friends or even acquaintances.

At the risk of coming across as touchy-feely (which seems to raise suspicion among many intelligent people), perhaps his simple message is worth a solid embrace?

I think individuals can learn to be happy in almost any environment. If people of today are less happy it might be because of mass media constantly feeding the public negative messages about politics and perceived social problems. Dwelling in one’s mind about the grievances of the world is 100% sure to create stress, fear, anger and unhappiness.

If anyone is unhappy they can become happy by learning to police their thoughts, turning away from thoughts that are untrue, negative, or judgmental.

I think it's difficult to compare generations - my grandmothers lived through 2 world wars and an American society that rapidly advanced technologically.

We tend to reminisce about yesteryear. There was plenty of stress in the 20th century. My parents had the same pressures to "keep up with the Joneses". For me it was cable tv, Converse Dr. J sneakers, Atari, etc. The more things change...

The myth is the "American Way". That's just rich people rationalizing their greed...

I bet if we looked back honestly we'd see the same stress and anxiety existing all along.

You talk about the American way of life but I would suggest that the way of life expected in most western countries views personal acquisition of wealth and status as the focus for happiness. In other societies and other times, we viewed contentment as our contribution to society and care for each other. I would suggest that makes far far more sense.

I think we have made the mistake of believing that a bigger choice is better for us. It actually is quite the reverse in my opinion, the more choice , the more anxiety we have that we are making the correct choice. Life was simpler when choice was limited, especially when purchasing consumer goods. There is now a feeling that we MUST have the latest model, or newest technology, and that we will be judged by others if we are seen to be unable or unwilling to keep up, on this ever “upgrading” treadmill. Our children are being raised to think this way, it’s very hard to not succumb to the peer pressure, they get it from their school friends. This has caused a collective anxiety, of feeling we must fit in with the herd. A culture of personal perfection has also grown up around the cell phone technology of selfie taking and posting on social media, this causes unhappiness and stress in the quest to look perfect. It means a form of narcissism becomes normalised in many, and causes great anxiety when others don’t “like” the images they post. This seems to me to be a form of collective addiction, and the only antidote to it is to opt out of it altogether. I think that in the developed world, society as a whole is in a transitional phase, the interconnectivity between countries because of the Internet and the way that international corporations can do business from anywhere, has changed the way they do business. Traditional jobs are no longer guaranteed, there’s much less security in employment and it’s easy to blame immigrants, which is why the parties of the extreme right have had a resurgence in popularity, playing to people’s fears and insecurity. Quite often, I find the happiest people live the simplest lives, eschewing the blandishments of consumerism....so yes I do believe that we have been sold a mirage.