Well for starters, when they’re not being a FAKE feminist by glamorizing the hijab.

I'm not saying all but some Feminists just use what other women have gone through as an excuse to look down at other people men and women alike.

The term "feminist" gets conflated with so much political dogma, that its pretty meaningless in real life.

I am a feminist

Someone who believes in equality and fairness for women for women

I don't. I only label folks as mysoginistic or not.

Why do you ask? I am a feminist because I want equal pay and rights.

Feminist (dictionary.com)

noun

1. advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.

If you believe a woman has the right to say no (and people should respect that right) you're a feminist. If you believe a woman has the right to earn money and then maintain control over it, you're a feminist. If you believe a woman who does the same job as a man should be paid the same for it, you're a feminist. If you believe she can then spend that money on whatever she wants, and apply for credit, or put it into a bank account she has opened of her own free will, and that to do any of those things without first obtaining a letter from her father or husband giving his permission for her to do so, you're a feminist. If you believe rape is wrong, you're a feminist. If you believe a woman has the right to choose if and when she has children, you're a feminist. If you're a woman who enjoys the rights we have fought for, you're a feminist. If you're a man who believes women ought to have those rights, and views women as human beings rather than machines to provide sexual relief and produce babies, you're a feminist.

Feminist - a person who supports feminism.
Feminism - advocacy of women's rights based on equality of the sexes.

This shouldn't be too difficult. You're not a femist if you support women's rights. You're not if you don't.

with great fear of being run out of town.......I tend to not think of it that much with the exception of my partners cousin. She is a Professor of womens studies at a major college. There is no discussion on any topic , anytime that is not about womens something. even gardening or the weather somehow becomes a bout male patriarchy.

It is exhausting for this male.