He made arrangements for me to meet her when they returned. She is definitely like he described her. I've been thinking all weekend that she deserves to have a seat at his table but I've got to determine where I belong. I saw the pain in her eyes at dinner as she mentioned her son. I can't fathom how she is handling her sons death. I think I'm going to pull back a little and see what he does. I'd be stupid if I didnt.

If it were me, I'd want you to come along as added support for her... I assume you would be adult enough to be friendly and helpful regardless of their past. Unless there's something you're leaving out (she's going to stay at her Dad's while he stays at hotel.... ) it does seem a bit fishy..

After 11 yrs, I would think she would have established a support system, friends, something.

I guess you need to look long and hard at the level of your attachment and commitment with him.

This one hits home for my step children....sounds like he is rescuing her....worse he may be feeling guilty he was a poor step father....obviously he is insensitive to you.....my ex was divorced 11 years from her ex and still she let him play her manipulate her and their 3 children devaluing our marriage and our 4 year old child....dating this guy when he returns from the weekend reminds me of Eddie Fisher "consoling his buddies widow with his penis" as Carrie Fisher put it about her mom Debbie Reynolds married to Eddie and promptly divorced him.....sorry this must hit you in the guts hard....of course he should have taken you with him and the 2 of you could have really helped her grieve as only a woman and an ex could rationally help another woman ....matters not where he took her....if it was their honeymoon site I would not be surprised

What are your standards? Answer that question, and you have your answer.

Depends how secure you feel in the relationship. It’s not about them it’s about you.

Did you have an agreement that neither one of you would have sex with someone else? If not, it doesn't matter what they do on their weekend. If so, how much do you trust him to keep the agreement? If you don't trust him, you probably shouldn't be with him regardless of what he does or doesn't do on this particular weekend.

are they sharing a room / bed or traveling as friends
how much do you want him in your life
decide to dump him or fight to keep him

Hurt,confused,he still has feelings for her,where do you stand? Is he a decent Man, or another you cannot trust?

The nephew of my ex, with whom he was very close(I knew the nephew for 6 years) committed suicide at age 18. That was in 2011. February 2. I will never, ever forget it. It tore so many hearts out. Had a role in ending our marriage; DID end his parents’ marriage. I left the ex in 2014.
As awful as the loss was, I’ll never go anywhere or do anything with my ex because of that loss again. He came to my brother’s funeral in 2016, because he had known him as long as he’d known me(1978). Even then, he drove down, came to the service, went back to his part of the state.
I’m like others here, need more info. Not all exes are on such terms as me. Hard to judge.

He had to ask himself if this would bother you. And it does. So is he waiting for your reaction?
Or does he not care how you feel about this?

I have a very strong platonic relationship with my Daughter’s father. If she committed suicide, and he was very depressed, I’d want to cheer him up. If taking him on a vacation did it, I would do it.

I’ve made it very clear to my fb that I will always have love for my ex, but only as the father of my child, and we talk often. I’ve also made it very clear that our relationship is only one of family and friends.

If your boyfriend felt like the father of her child, respect that. If he is someone you trust, respect him. If he doesn’t respect your insecurities, dump him.

Good luck. Try to relax. And deal with this maturely and respectfully.

If I was uncomfortable with it, I would say so. Honest communication is how good relationships happen.
You are the only one that can decide what is right for you.
I'm not much for conspiracy theories, like a lot of the people here are, but discussion is the way to work out what you want to do next.

Complicated what do you know about this just be careful

Obviously you are not that important in his life.....