That's awful.

As a person who has faced loss and has helped others deal with it, this is the best advice I can give you.

Do not say "let me know if you need anything" or I'm here if you need me." Those words are not useful to a person who is grieving, as the burden falls on them to have to ask for help.

Instead, do things. Take prepared food to his house to save him or his family the chore of cooking; invite him to go for a walk so you can chat; take him for coffee; bring him reading material that may help; get him out with others if and when you can.

Also, avoid asking "Are you okay?"

No. He's not okay... that question is irritating. Ask what you can do for him to make things a little easier today, then offer concrete things. Maybe he needs a ride somewhere.. It's going to hurt like hell, but it will help him to know people care and are actually doing things to help, not just offering.

So sorry. I know it's tough to see people in pain.

My son Graeme committed suicide earlier this year, my advice is just let him know you care and are there if he needs to talk at any time. We all grieve in different ways...he is still very young, compared to me, and may be less able to cope with the inevitable questions he will have. There will be guilt too, those of us left behind always wonder if there was something we should or could have done to change their course of action...but of course it was not in our power to do so. If he’s lucky he will have lots of support from caring friends and family such as yourself and that is all we can humanly ask.

Dear (name),
My heart breaks for you at this very sad time. I am here if you feel like talking or being quiet in the company of someone who cares about you.
Please take time to focus on yourself, your family and school, rather than working. I offer this gift of ($$) so you can take a few weeks off without worrying about lost wages.
With care and sympathy,
(your name)

Do you have chores to do at the moment?. Not urgent but things you might offer in a week or so after the usual memorial events have taken place.It will give the boy a sense of purpose for a moment and keep him in some proximity to you.. someone who clearly cares about his well being. Maybe becoming a surrogate male role model for him is appropriate in this circumstance. Always tough to lose a parent and suicide carries its own burden of self recriminations.. Good luck with the process.

Honestly? You can't. Just be there and listen to him when he talks about it.

Take all the time you need to come to terms with what's happened and just know that my door is always open for you. You're a good kid and i got your back. Hopefully I'll see you soon.

As my father also committed suicide, I can relate to the kid. If you have the chance to be with him, whatever the occasion, if he's helping with chores or whatever, listen to him. He most likely will need to talk a bit and let it all out. After that, you might be able to give him a bit of advice. This is what my experience taught me. However, bear in mind that he has a different personality than mine. Anyway, I believe you'll be able to figure out something that will work out.

Sometimes the best response is to say nothing. Be there for him. Listen when he is ready to talk. So many times, we feel the need to fill the uncomfortable silence with words. This is usually an attempt to alleviate our own discomfort and helplessness. He will get numerous sentiments, mostly repetitious in nature. I suggest you let him know that you are there for him when he is ready to talk. Be there for him at work, but don’t bring any of this up in conversation. Sometimes the best salve for their wounds is a sense of normalcy. Once he trusts that you are a constant in his life and that you are genuinely invested in him, he will incrementally begin to discuss it with you. I hope this helps. Been there, done that. It’s never easy.

if he needs a friendly voice or someone to hang out with you'll be available for him. your support is what he needs. there's no magic solution or words other than that.

Most important up-front question is, how old is the boy?

The safest thing I can say that doesn't involve his age is: Make yourself available as someone to either talk to or be quiet with. Say nothing about it unless he does and even then just be there for him when he wants.

Been through this several times in my years and ... it's ... never ... easy.

Keep it positive, supportive, open, and brief. Don't say anything even mildly negative about his father. Don't say you know how he feels. Always give him room to grieve however he wants to. Don't say anything that may back him into a corner, even if you think he is already in that corner.

Offer to teach him something...maybe how to paint or fix a car or play baseball? Or just offer an ear if he ever needs a guy to talk to.

My thinking on this is that not a great deal can be said at this early stage, that will help. He will be in a grief stage and added to that a death by suicide. What you hear from friends and families when this happens is...if i had known that something was that bad, I would have helped... and always the question why? And why did they not tell me that something was wrong? And if some little or big problem happened just before the suicide that will be added guilt! To me, being warm and caring at this time is most important. Offering your help if the young man needs to talk to somebody, that you are there if he needs your help. (This would depend on how close you are.) Do watch for a downward spiral and if so, contact his family. This is a slow process and it is hard, that must be a given..,good luck with this very sad situation.

Go to him and be beside him. Nothing to say. This is devastating. No condolences will work. Bring food. Mow their lawn. Call a maid service for them to clean next month. Doing is more than talking.

There are many heartfelt ideas here. However, "Is there anything you..." "Let me know if you..." " I'm here if you" are words that require him to make the next or first move. They may not work. Deliver your message to him, in person if you can...stand by his side if he lets you, perhaps a hand on his back. Human touch is very powerful, especially from someone you like and respect. You be the judge of how close and for how long....And if that goes over well, see Athena..for she has words to trust.
.

Let him know you are there for him and mean it.

As someone who has lost a lot of loved ones, I can say that the most important thing is to just be present, to listen, to ask how you can be supportive. There's nothing you can say to make it better, and nothing you can directly say to ease the pain. And so as a result, no grieving person will hold that against you. Just convey empathy and give support ... give him the opportunity to talk if he wants to ... make it clear you're willing to listen, that you're not threatened by him sharing his sorrow.

Tell him you cannot fathom what he is going threw but that you are there for him if he needs anything or wants to talk.

You can simply get him a good book maybe. Soothes the memories.....xo. something to hold instead of darkness.

He needs his value as a human, acknowledged. Let him know he's a good person, you're lucky to work with him, and so sorry he is facing such grief in his life,

At a time like that there is nothing you can say that will make anything better ... but make it clear that if there is anything you can do to help, he should ask you and you will try ... and when he is ready to talk, listen, and not judge

Go and sit quietly with him and listen till he is tired of talking.

One of the sad things about this life is that we are always ultimately alone. No one can understand our pain the way we do. No one else has our demons to face.

Even so, we can reach out and try to share as much as we can. Most of the time this much sharing of life's burdens is enough for each of us to keep on living. After all, we only have this experience of life for a very short time over all. As long as we can enjoy the experience, it is a wonderful opportunity.

This also means no one can know the burdens and the pain his father had to deal with, nor was there really anything anyone else could do but to care and try to help. But in the end, it is up to the individual to decide if it is worth while to see this quick spark of existence to its natural conclusion.

His father's decision had nothing to do with him and it is not a decision he has to share. His job from now on is to live a life worth living as judged by himself alone. You can offer to help as much as you can. Ultimately, that's all anyone can ever do.

Tell him to remember all the good things about his father.