You know people just need to be honest with each other. I spend hours talking to members on Messenger here then the telephone. I did connect with a member on the other side of the country and we got together for a few weeks. We were willing to take a chance-my friends thought I was nuts- and ended up friends. I went beyond my boundaries and will do it again to meet someone interested in an LTR.

I think women are largely socialized to not be the ones to ask, and while men are socialized to take the initiative there are plenty of us who are actually not all that outgoing and forceful and taking that route requires a lot.

No one wants to feel vulnerable, but if you don't allow yourself to, you will not allow anyone in.
That's where strength comes in.

Mine is the way I was raised. My mother hammered into my sister's and my head that it was un-lady like to call a boy or ask them for a date. It was so ingrained into me that it is very difficult for me to do it even now.

I use to fear rejection and embarrassment when I was younger. But I got over it. I became bolder with age I guess.

I fear in this era of heightened awareness of sexual harrassment, many men, especially those who feel socially awkward, are fearful of being taken 'the wrong way'. I know of workplaces that consider compliments on one's attire to be harrassment, even if just an innocent way to break the ice. And, I'm from a generation that looked upon women who suggested a date as being 'eager' sexually. I know that that's old hat...but how many women still have words from overprotective parents in the backs of their heads.

embarressment and fear of rejection for me.

I have no issues asking a woman for a date nor would I having a woman asking me.

I'm scared that I could be physically attacked.

I guess because it puts both people in a situation where the nature of the relationship is defined from one undefined. Change is always a bit scary.

My thread...now posted by another member......I feel honored.

It's not that difficult for everyone, but agree it is for many. And there are probably MANY reasons for it. Some of them are driven by social "norms" or "tradition." Also fear of rejection as you and others have mentioned. Especially if someone has been rejected in an embarrasing or hurtful way. I could see that making them very fearful and gunshy. Some folks are just extreme introverts and engaging with someone scares the shit out of them. On this site, which is still growing, members are often separated by great distance and the this might be a real or perceived obstacle to them. I fall a little into this camp, but that wouldn't stop me from reaching out to anyone here who I was attracted to.

Fear of rejection that leads to embarrassment?

Yes, it is mainly fear of rejection.

Yes. Yes. Yes. The answers to all .

I was married for 24 years,a few years after that I was in a 5 year relationship. I guess I have just forgotten how to approach women.

I wish women would be more comfortable asking men out.

It's only hard on here bc I don't have enough points to send a message lol. In real life, I'll just start talking to you. Idk why it's hard for some men but if they aren't man enough to ask you out, you probably won't be happy anyway. Btw do you like steak or seafood?

Online dating seems far to impersonal to to me. How do you know if you like someone through text or a picture? Is that really the way she is, how she looks, acts, is she nice or is the wicked bitch of the west waiting to hit me in the back of my head with her broom then cackle maniacally as she takes off with all of my stuff straped to said broom? I'm not generalizing here ladies, there are men out there that do the same. Last 2 women I dated just wanted stuff from me so I am really guarded when it comes to dating now. The other problem with online is the distance. I just moved to Florida from KCMO and I'm not relocating again. Not out of fear for the unknown, but I love the weather here. I'm not moving back to below minus temperatures EVER again!

(Temp outside is 59° "wow, do I need to put on long pants today?" (Get my meening?)

I agree that any two people that are attracted to each other needs to be around one another to find out if they click. My sarcastic ass is not for everyone, but it is all in good fun. Any women I meet and like needs to be able to throw it right back at me and not take it personally. You have to be friends with the one you fall for or it doesn't last... Ya know?

Fear of rejection perhaps? Taking a step towards inviting someone to be part of your private life is intimidating. Both are scary prospects.

My view on this is that it takes two to tango. It's up to men to engage, but it's also up to women to be approachable and show interest too in their own way (if you subscribe to gender roles).

As far as what exactly the fear is, it varies. In my case, I'm just realllly uncomfortable not being in control of a situation. It's just the unknown that's uncomfortable. I'm almost positive nothing bad will happen. It doesn't matter. That's just something that bothers me generally, and it's enough

Well, being an introvert, it completely takes me out of my comfort zone. I think our insecurities get in the way. Plus, I constantly over analyze everything. What if he says no? What if he wants to say no but is too nice to do so? What if he says yes and I have to actually go through with the date? What do I wear? What do I talk about? But I did it once and I felt so proud of myself but probably wouldn't do it again unless I knew for sure he was in to me. I'm a mess.

All the above

Rejection would be the biggie would be my guess.

This is one of my biggest complaints about the dating scene. I wish woman would be more aggressive and go for it. Men get rejected all the time and it kind of makes you jaded if you let it. When I was young I was terrified of rejection, now I could care less.