Anniversaries are dreadful, yet reaching this point means you chose to continue living. I sense a bit of hope in your post, and that’s healthy. Grief will continue to hit at the oddest times, and if you can accept that, so can a future partner. Best wishes for your healing heart.

Think of the good things about Sonia that make you very proud and a smile will creep up on your face! Remember that and know that she would want you to grieve, of course, but also keep moving along with life. Happiness comes back in bits and pieces so look for it and find it when you can!

Take care!

Deep sympathy for your loss. Stay strong and look after your own health. Sixty is time for a whole other life yet, if you have the courage and strength for it.

I’m sorry and I understand
If you ever need someone to listen I’m here.

My sympathies for the loss of your partner. I hope you can leave behind your feelings of anger, which are understandable, but which will do you harm if you hold on to them. This is a milestone, the one year mark, and I urge you to cherish those memories of your time together, but try to focus on the positives from them and move on with your life and try to find happiness again, because that will be the best thing for you, and I’m sure what Sonia would wish for you, I understand only too well that feelings of despair can lead you to have suicidal thoughts, I lost my son in January when he took his own life, and wish that I’d been able to prevent it. It sounds like you have moved past these feelings, which I’m glad to hear, and am confident that in time you will find that equilibrium and happiness again. I wish you the very best going forward...be positive and you will succeed.

I agree that certain dates are harder to get past. What keeps me going is knowing that my husband was my greatest fan and always wanted me to be happy and to live my life to the fullest. Be kind to yourself.

"Widow(er)/life partner/significant other" might help with the worst days.

I am sorry for your loss. Anniversary dates suck.

My BIL died of colon cancer that also went to his lungs.

And I'm watching an old friend battle lung cancer right now.

Keep trekking on. I know it’s hard. At times in my life if I had a Killswitch I would have pulled it but fortunately I don’t and I would have missed many of the blessings if I had

An old cliche I know but it does get better

Take care

Deeply sorry for your profound loss of your Sonia. I completely empathize all of the intense emotions you've been feeling after her crossing over. Grief and mourning are two different coping experiences -- I once read a powerful statement from a life coach who said: Grief is clinging to what has been lost whereas mourning is acceptance and surrender of the loss and leads to freedom. You're still grieving and you can grieve for as long as needed until it all leaves your body. When my best friend, my soul mate, committed suicide at 24 years old - my world was s.h.a.t.t.e.r.e.d. and I, too, wanted to die for I couldn't imagine my life without her and felt so lost and aimless and lethargic. It took 7 long years of deep grieving. And then one day, my grief slipped into mourning. I mourned for a few more years after that and finally on her death anniversary, one year, I didn't break down crying -- it was a quiet acceptance. A part of me will always be sad and I still can't think too much about my soulmate but I am, amazingly so, living again. Thank you for sharing your grief and concerns as it shows you do want to live but you deeply need a support system from those that understands exactly what you're going through. Gentle hug

I'm sorry.

Sorry for your loss, and hope this year is better

I'm glad you chose to live and keep going. I'm very sorry for your loss, and hope you are finding strength in friends and family. It's been just over a year for me, and although I never felt suicide was the answer for my pain I understand your thoughts of it. Losing your partner is a horrible pain to endure. Sending hugs your way.

My sincerest condolences got out you on your loss, BUT, trust me when I say from experience things do get better over time, they never actually disappear BUT they will and do lessen. Remember the good times and relish in them, shed tears when you feel the need and be NOT ashamed to do so for you ARE but human as we ALL are.

Almost all of this whole decade has been loss, grief, suffering and death for me, so I can relate. I will be glad when it finally passes, like a kidney stone, and we begin 2020. Glad you have made progress..

Hang in there. it isn't easy and I know you miss her. Only those who have also lost somebody will come close to knowing how this has effected you. Death and grieving is a part of life and you can get through it.

Condolences!

I am so very sorry for your loss.
Sure hope the next year continues to get better.

Been there, bro. Stick here with us.

I lost my wife of 27 years,Sept.13th 2017,to aggressive lung Cancer,a crushing blow for others,but I was an old Bachelor of 43 when we married so I was used to being alone,yes,I miss a Woman's touch, the companionship,another viewpoint and ideas. We are born alone, and may pass away with no one to care,life can be very cruel at times....

Condolences on your heartbreaking loss. Remember the good, wishing you Peace

Such a loss is heart breaking

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost a neighbor whom I was very fond of and was a real friend to my family die from stomach cancer. Not hearing his outdoor tv still causes an emptiness in me. Cancer just sucks.

Sorry for your pain and loss.

Life goes on my friend, time heals all wounds is not a cliche.