It has been 13 months since Ira died. On the anniversary I invited his/ our closest friends to go to his favorite beach to scatter the last of his ashes. I said It would be the last time that I would mark the anniversary of his death. Going forward I would privately mark his birthday.
I have had one or two dates, but there was no spark. I did not feel as if I was betraying Ira . I would like to have another committed relationship, but I am not out there. Actually living in Baja California Sur, but not busy frenetic, Cabo San Lucas, makes it more difficult to meet compatible men.

My children and friends have all encouraged me to date. My son (stepson that I raised since he was 12) said "...Mom if you meet someone five minutes, five hours, five days or five years from now, all I want is for you to be loved and happy..."
There is no set time. I can tell you that the heavy, suffocating grief has lifted. The loss will never go away, but it will become lighter.
I do agree that the first year is the most difficult time of your life. Do not make any major decisions.
Follow your heart.

I remember my mother telling me, when I was a teenager, "If a girl breaks your heart, the best thing to do is find a new one." Her advice helped me when my wife of 36 years died. There's nothing like a good distraction from pain and I was in a lot of painful grief. I will always miss my wife but reconstructing a new life helped me get through the worst part of the grief zone.

My mom died in 1972, I was 14, my sisters were 12 and 8. My brothers were all out of the house, two in the Navy and one in Juvie. My dad was so freaked out by the idea of raising 3 girls he married the first woman he dated, and he was married 6 months after our mother passed. That old phrase, marry in haste repent in leisure really played out. They were miserably married for nearly 30 years. She attacked my two younger sisters with a knife, they still have the defensive scars on their arms. She was largely the reason I joined the Army. It got me the hell of of that hell. My dad never got a chance to grieve my mom and I think he wished for death long before he died. So never, ever rush.

If there is any doubt....you’re not ready.

There are no two people who grieve in the same way or for the same period, so there can be no definitive answer to this question. The only person who can know when the time is right is yourself.

There is no answer to that.

I've seen people judged for moving on too quickly, as others judge rather than a socially acceptable period of mourning.

But I can see if it was a prolonged death and especially if the person was mentally and emotionally gone that the grief process may have been worked through long before the actual physical death.

Took me about 5 years. Didn't "know", just felt like I'd come back to the point where I could actually offer someone something of value in a relationship.

There is no timetable for grief. It takes as long as it takes.
When you're ready to be open to the possibility of another
relationship, you'll know, and it'll be okay.

I think it's very individual and depends on the circumstances. My late wife had already lost her identity and most of her personality after a few years of having dementia. I had already begun grieving, so when she died over two years ago, I was mostly done with grieving the loss of the person I knew and being part of a relationship of equal adults. I have been ready to date for at least two years. Too bad women on dating sites don't seem to understand or agree, unless they have known someone close who had dementia.

I think the length of grief is different for each person. I once went on a date when I wasnt ready and cried almost the entire time.

Everyone has their own timeline, their own reasons for staying in their "grief space" and their own reasons for moving on.

It depends on how you feel. It's your life and you know your feelings

Let me know when you find out...

Whenever I have been in a relationship which has ended I get out there as soon as I can. Nothing ever helped me get over someone faster than meeting someone new, but everyone is going to have their own way to deal with this.

It's been just over a year since I lost Richard and I have no desire for a relationship. I am still wearing my wedding band as I simply can't remove it yet. I suppose each individual makes that call when they feel they are ready to venture out in search of another relationship.

As you say, we are all different. So it would all be different for everybody. I have a friend who it still grieving her mothers death after more than 20 years and then I have another one who's parent died a week ago and she is not. Relationships are the same as any other grief.

My dogs .... you never replace the dog that shared your life, but you may find another friend to share the next few
If my wife died ...... what could possibly make me marry another

The only correct answer.... YOU will know when it is time!

The timeframe is different with everyone. I once had grief that took me almost 7 years to deal with. You will know when you are ready and do not let anyone push you on as if there is a set timeline. There is not.

Generally not less than a year. Don't rush it, grief can make you lonely and in need of support, so that you will often seek companionship because of that, but those often won't make good long term relationships.

Everyone is different.

In my experience, most men can hold it together for about three weeks. Then their bad behavior comes out, the same behavior that killed their last relationships. Many men take the same bad behavior from relationship-to-relationship because they are unwilling to work on themselves.

When I feel hurt, I listen for the kernel of truth, learn from it and let the bad feelings go. Grudge-holding only hurts the person holding the grudge.

Ask yourself:

1. What was my part in the demise of the relationship?

2. What did I learn from it?

3. What will I do differently in the future?

obviously until Graham Greene says you are done mourning.

From my experience, I put the relationship on a pedestal and when it was over I couldn't get past it. Nothing else measured up. What I've learned since is that every relationship is unique. I tried to recreate what I had and never found it, passing up other relationships that might have been rewarding in their own ways. I don't regret anything, because I've largely enjoyed the long solitude, but when I was actively seeking I probably wasn't so serene about it all. So my advice is to not push yourself when it doesn't feel like you're emotionally ready, but accept every potential relationship as distinct and worth exploration on its own terms rather than in the shadow of your past experience. Good luck.

You'll know when your ready.