Do we claim to "love hard" because we assume someone else can love us back the same way we secretly wish we could love ourselves?
Finchi, you have something there.
In volunteer phone work I did a few years ago, I and other volunteers asked abused or bullied young callers to say, “I love myself unconditionally.” All were able, some with encouragement, to say the first three words. More than I expected were unable to add the fourth word.