I’m sorry that you lost your son, I did too. Mine died just seven months ago and I’m doing my best with the help of good friends. Just do what you need to do to carry on, whatever it is. The happy memories and the privilege to have had him for 42 years sustains me, and I’m sure you probably feel much the same way about your son.

It is my opinion that when you die you will know nothing as you will be dead.
Your son lived with you for a period of time, you built memories together and now those memories are there for you to relive anytime you choose.
My daughter died 15 years ago and I think of her often and always with a smile remembering her and the time we had together.
In situations like this I am often reminded of the song "The Dance": I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance, and the dance is what matters.

One thing I do know, while the pain never leaves (and I don't think we would really want it to) we learn to live with it. I also know that you always carry that love in your heart, and every tear cried.......he was worth it.

You can't really ever get over it. You can learn to live with it, and grow from it. Know that it's ok to be angry, incredibly sad, or however you feel. I'm truly sorry for your loss, and I wish I could say or do something to help.

I cannot even imagine the pain of losing a child at any age. I am so sorry for you loss.
I once saw a documentary about mass and energy that explained how energy changes form/mass, but never goes away. For example, E=MC squared. So energy contains mass. Now let's say you have some mass. Let's use paper for an example. Now let's burn that paper. The fire is energy (heat, light...). So one might imagine that this paper, after burning loses it's mass, because now all you have is ashes. These ashes weigh less than the paper did, right? But if this were to happen in a vacuum, where atomic weight could be measured, the weight/mass does not change. Now, the energy from the fire would (outside a vacuum) be dispersed into the atmosphere, or the universe. It never goes away. The mass/energy does not go away.
Okay, so we are all just blobs of mass and energy. So you figure that even after we die, our energy doesn't just disappear, it's still here in the universe SOMEWHERE. So I choose to believe that after we die, we a (our basic energy, which is what made us who we are/were) is still here in the universe somewhere, just sort of dispersed to go be part of other things. I know it sounds kind of kooky, but I mean, we are energy. and energy never goes away. Not really.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my youngest son when he was three weeks old. Twenty six years later I still remember the empty platitudes.

I cannot even imagine what it would be like if one of my children died. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. That is why we have to tell our children, friends and loved ones how much they matter to us while we are still here together.

when my granny died I was told two things: one is that the energy from our decaying bodies is released back into the "universe" and we become part of the energy of the universe again and second is that the person changed our brains... they literally impacted the folds in our brains, for better or for worse, and they will forever be with us with the changes they have made in our brains by knowing and interacting with them. Those thoughts gave me peace.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Of course no one knows what happens when we die. And when you die you will not know it either because when you die, your brain dies, and with it your capacity to know anything at all.
But... the fact that you remember him means he already transcended.

I'm so sorry you lost your son. 14 months is not a long time to grieve for a child. It may last much longer.
When I lost my son in 1991, I was a fervent believer. I had just gone through a rough divorce and my wife had a car wreck, that killed my 10 year old son.
People told me all kinds of ignorant things like "he's in a better place", "god needed another flower in his garden", "god knows what's best for us" etc. It made me think about my beliefs in a really serious way for the first time in my life. I re-read the Bible from cover to cover and really tried to understand the will of my god. I came out the other side (a few years later) an atheist. I still miss my son, but I know I'll never see him again. That's ok though, I still love him.

Very sorry for your loss. Dealing with that level of pain is the most difficult challenge possible.

My heart goes out to you , came close on two different occasions with two my kids being close to that. I can only say follow what calls you from within.

My most sincere and honest condolences on the loss of your son AND I do know from personal experience what you are suffering.
And , YES, I too feel that my daughter, Lorrae, is still around in 'essence' so to speak though I am not and never been one to believe in the ideology of the 'spirit' as per the religious terminology used I often feel that she is still 'present' in some way as yet to be explained.
Hold dear the memories you have, cherish them, shed tears when and where ever you feel the need for you are just human as we all are.

Just passed the 3rd anniversary of my son's death. I am sorry for your loss, and understand as much as anyone can without being you.

I never expected people to be helpful or comforting on this topic. It's been my experience that when someone finds out about it, they either spout some pious platitude to avoid their own discomfort with my discomfort, and/or, less commonly, they suddenly develop prurient interest in exactly how / where / when / why it happened. This is entirely expected -- but I've been through it a few times before, including with my previous wife's death.

My present wife is the only person who has supported me effectively, by simply being present, listening, and sharing her own sorrow. I hope you have someone like that in your life. It helps. But to be honest, the only thing that really brings a sort of resolution or closure is the passage of time and the gradual acceptance of the unacceptable.

Phew! Big hugs.
Big fucking hugs.

I'm so sorry to hear this! It's the worst thing a person can experience (my opinion, anyway) and it's just WRONG.

No you won't, cause nothing hapens. Your son is around, but only in memories and feelings of those that love him.

Something I hope never to experience very sorry

Please accept my sincere heartfelt condolences.

I am sad to know this. Acceptance and cherishing his memory helps. My best wishes to you.

If it works for you great.
My lost love ones live on in my memory and in those memories who his life touched.
Personally I find the idea of an eternal after life abhorrent and that is what works for me.
Take it easy, take joy in the joy your son gave and the good he did and left behind and you will be happy again.

I've lost people I loved but I can't imagine losing a son. I hope you have family to hold you in their arms. Please remember that nothing really dies that that you remember.

Not really sure what to say to this. Losing a loved one is pretty painful. Stuff like this makes me wish they could just bring people back.

I wouldn’t count on finding anything out after you die.