What other pieces of your identity are you giving up in this situation?

Would your "loving and caring parents" really kick you out for believing differently from them?

The programming that parents do to their children -- not only religion, but politics, music, sports, etc -- has always been around. If you are open and honest with your children, they will most likely develop their own concepts based upon your openness. You don't need to put down your parents religion to your children -- they'll figure it out.

I dealt with a similar, if not the same situation when my son was growing up. My son was going to spend a month with his very religious (Earth is 6000 years old type) grandparents. We did not want to strain the relationship, but we also didn't want him to start assuming that they were right or telling them that they were wrong. Lessons taught by mom and dad, will nearly always supersede lessons taught by anyone else. So talk to your children, don't feel overly guilty, do all that you can to educate your children to question everything.

My son, now 33, is an atheist of his own decision process. All we can ever do is present our best efforts. Once you are in a position to tell your parents, I've found it is better to drop subtle hints and see their reactions, that way you are prepared for their reaction when you do.

I don't think we do any service to our children if we hide the religion from them. They will be exposed to it. We all have lied to our kids about myths, like Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I don't think what your parents are doing is really harmful as of yet. I think it comes later, when they see people they love and respect attend churches and take the religious beliefs seriously.

I told my kid when she was 5 that there was no Santa. She still gives me a playful grief about it, but she has come to her own conclusions about religion. She hung with some christian friends and she told me that she believed in God (that was when she was 10). I simply told her that I didn't believe in God, and I would tell her why I don't believe in God if she wanted to know. She did, and we had a conversation about it. But I told her that it is something she is going to have to come to her own conclusion about, and some people take a lifetime in coming to their own conclusions about it. She accepted that. She tells me now that she is more agnostic, and that she is skeptical of people who push religion.

I was a very devout Catholic until I was 14. We are not always in control. I think as a parent, you can always help your kids to think critically on their own....regardless of what they are exposed to.

While it may not hurt to know ABOUT the bible stories, just like it doesn't hurt to learn about lots of other children stories, maybe you can convince your parents to let you handle their religious upbringing on your own. And ask them to let you decide to what degree and when the indoctrination begins, and hopefully you'll be on your own before they catch on that you might not really intend to indoctrinate them at all, but expose them to lots of ideas, in addition to critical thinking and lots of stories that discuss morals and ethics, and also tolerance of other beliefs.

You might insist to your parents that you wish your children to be loving and accepting of all people, no matter their beliefs, and that includes their grandparents.

I was in the same position for a while.
Even though I was still technically religious when my kids were little, I had stopped attending church and had a rapidly diminishing respect for Christianity in general.

I told my kids the truth and when we were visiting religious relatives, we smiled and ignored religious stuff when it was mentioned. Whenever my parents attacked us, I acted bored, distracted, murmured things like, "That's nice," and only gave them positive social feedback when they were respectful to us.

The moment they veered into religious attacks I remembered things I had to do at home, gathered the kids, and headed out the door immediately. It only took twice to train my parents to leave religion alone.

When the kids wake the house with their nightmare screams of the devil taking them to hell, will be when you insist they don't let that shit spew from their pie holes around your children.

First and foremost, stop being dependent upon them, rent somewhere else.

Well now, what is more important, saving rent money or watching your parents inflict psychological abuse on your children? I suggest that you discuss your position with your parents and ask them to stop the brainwashing. Commit yourself to the best interest of your children; you'll sleep a lot better. If they kick you out, you did the responsible thing, and your parents will never see their grandchildren again (or they shouldn't).

If their your kids you need to speak with your parents. Obviously this doesn't sit well. My question would be was this done with you? Obviously, you were able to escape.

My late partner was never a believer (and was from a Moslem country with Moslem parents - who encouraged her to ask questions). She had 3 kids and never was religion discussed in the house. But, 2 of the kids were led astray by friends and turned into S. Baptists. She asked where she went wrong and then it dawned on her that critical thinking needs to be taught and encouraged. Perhaps you can get the kids to ask their grandparents questions and hold their feet to the fire. Maybe the kids can plant seeds to the grandparents against religion.

A downside to my late partners situation is that her oldest son married a flaming Christian and she saw my late partner as a threat to her bringing up their 3 kids with religion. She shunned my partner to the point she told her son she would no longer travel to the E. coast to visit.

I wonder what the difference would be if you were open about your atheism.

Its not a discussion about beliefs and values if this will affe t your ability to have a safe happy home.