70s plus lady came in w s/s of sudden confusion , one side weakness , and difficulty processing words . Smart lady to call 911.
While the diagnostics took place and treatment started for acute ischemic stroke , her stroke progressed to a brain bleed one . Admission to SICU granted and surgical interventions applied . I followed the case and made self available since I noticed that in 4 days nobody has seen any family or friends . That bothers me . That scares me . That breaks my heart . The little lady recovered beautifully and w a minor eye deficit that won't interfere w driving either . Yay . The moment she was able to walk around and use a bathroom , she realized that her panties were replaced w a disposable brief and that she has urinated on self previously . My lady was upset . The floor nurses asked if anyone of her friends could go at her house and bring some panties ? The lady said that her few friends don't drive anymore and her next door friend is already taking care of her dog and no need to burden w more tasks . The floor nurses , took a trip at Walgreens and returned w panties . Poof . Problem solved for now ♥️
I sat w the lady after she was able to feel like her self again and talked about our dogs , deodorants , simple act as brushing teeth , dead husbands , step kids , simple things as wiping your own vagina . We talked about the fears and tears of living alone , no kids , no other relatives or healthy friends . My lady mentioned few x how blessed she feels that she can keep going on , and I nodded head and squeezed her hand in agreement . That's not the x to roll eyes . Who gives a rats ass , at 70 plus , whatever works for her , I will support . Looking at everyday life , our demons , our happiness , our fears , our shortcomings , our next stressful task , our next hill to climb , our next " whooo hooo I am the shit " moment , love , sex , or simply maintaining the means of shelter / dignity ,
I realize that all of the above can go " poof ", in a single blink of the eye . I am not preaching " go live the day ", " hakuna Matata" and other catchy generalizations who work on my nerves , go tell any single parent who works at Dillard's or such of these phrases and they ll punch u on the face , and I ll be on the line to punch u too 
I am saying , "aware of our fragility".
Balance to the best possible . Life is hard even if able to be independent and with family and friends . Imagine if alone or not able . Everyone has a story . Told or not . Take it from me , trust me , I HATE PEOPLE ", but take a look at your neighbor , your kids schoolmates parents , a coworker , who ever your lives involve .. someone can use a helping hand . And take a look on selves . To the youngest ones who read this , yeah I know , u are the immortals , f u people , I was there once too 
, I love u anyways
To the ones at near 50 as me or older , remember to love your selves too guys . Whatever the hell makes u happy and as often as u can afford money or x ways . I am giving self the gift of doing ABSOLUTELY nothing and worrying about nothing one evening every week
None of the above is an advice . Just an idea / suggestion . Good day everyone
39
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16 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I have several friends both male and female that don't have kids or extended family. Even if you do have kids there is no guarantee that the kids will stay near you, or even have a relationship with you. On friend in particular has some challenging health issues that will worsen as she ages. She is concerned that if she is ever hit by a bus, even though she has a DNR the ER won't know. End of life issues are hard. I am thankful my kids are close by and we have a good relationship. They know what I want and I'm pretty sure they will be my advocate if needed.
HippieChick58
Level 9
Sep 7, 2019
2
Yes , u are right , advance directives very important . I did mine too 10 yrs ago , shortly after my divorce .
And u are right about the kids thing . Not always able or willing ! I ll say again , thank u life for friends , and some x even strangers . Some how we are all making it , one day at the x ♥️
Great story, and hopefully good info for all. With over 40 yrs in various healthcare settings I've seen and heard quite a lot, and times as you describe when the third eye sees what others may not, and the heart takes over your time and action, are the truth of life. Thank you for doing what you do.
tinkercreek
Level 8
Sep 7, 2019
3
I had almost 40 years in Nursing. Yes, we've seen it all. Never take anything for granted. Live each day to the fullest.
I can't read any more of this thread, my tears have blurred my vision. Empathy and kindness and humanist values abound here. Much love to you for your selfless actions.
HughJassell
Level 4
Sep 7, 2019
4
Something that scares me alot is I am infertile, disabled, and in all reality probably going to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm not really bummed out about that part. I'm happy on my own without a significant other and I don't want children.
But what scares me is someday being elderly and having nobody around. My family gone dead, my friends far away and too old to help much, busy with family, and being left by myself with no one to help me if I need it, or keep me company. No one beside me as I die.
That is what scares me, i think, most.
LadyAlyxandrea
Level 8
Sep 7, 2019
2
U are young and beautiful . And kind . This will not go unoticed in life . Mark my words . Mean time , treasure your time and time will treasure u . At least this is what I say to self 
Wegonnamakeit
well written.
wed & thurs morn i had to be at our hospital for heart tests (MIBI). my wife accompanied me. during the few hrs i had to hang around between tests i managed to strike up conversations with a few ppl in the waiting rooms. no doubt some of them were there alone & lonely.
one older gentleman sat apart & didn't respond to any conversations. my wife heard him say to a nurse that he'd served with the canadian air force. my wife & i were sitting in the hospital starbucks when he came in & i mentioned that i had served in the RCAF. it turned out that although he joined 7 yrs before me we had crossed paths at 2 bases but never met ( we were on different courses).
anyway i really enjoyed talking to him & i'm sure he enjoyed talking over old times with a fellow air force retiree. we don't live far apart & i gave him our phone # to call if he would care to drop in for coffee some day.
i'm not an outgoing person but i'm going to try to be more open to engaging in conversations when the situation presents itself.
callmedubious
Level 8
Sep 6, 2019
3
Yes ! I like this ! I hope all ok w your tests as well !
@Pralina1 .
thanks.
What an inspirational post! It makes me glad for every kindness I've shown to patients and their families
Livinlife
Level 9
Sep 6, 2019
2
Some steal our hearts right ? Even for a brief moment , even if drop in an ocean , is worth it right ?
I feel like random sick people are teaching us how to be or how to not be .
I vote for Yes . No matter how tired and fed up we are , I vote Yes . Thank u for your comment ♥️
@Livinlife never . Absolutely never . 22 yrs for me and I don't think I ever want to not be at ER or surgery . U are absolutely right . Every patient an open book . So many things to take home every day , and u know what ? Share . Share whatever u learn . More people to learn , even better . The good and the ugly too . Man , I am hesitating to share stories Bcz we often get the praise and I don't want that ! I just want to share so other humans can see what we see and maybe hold something from it . U know what I mean ?
39 yrs ! Wow . Thank u for serving humans . Pls remember to serve self too ♥️♥️♥️
Acts of kindness however small are brilliant. Thanks for sharing. Does not sound like you hate people. I think it's quite the opposite and it's okay to hate annoying assholes.
Serenityseeker
Level 7
Sep 6, 2019
2
What a wee honey you are! It’s an honour to call you my friend ❤️❤️❤️
Marionville
Level 10
Sep 6, 2019
3
It is horrible the way our elderly are treated. Seems when the nuclear family was born the oldest generations stated being warehoused. My adopted gdad from Chicago became a member of our family. He had fought in WW1 and outlived his wife. They had no children. My mom, four siblings, and I met him because he passed by our apartment several times a week walking to the store. Long story short he came to all holidays dinners. Us five kids wrecked his house on a regular basis, mom cleaned it, and he became family.
freeofgod
Level 8
Sep 6, 2019
6
Your comment makes me smile . He was lucky to have u all . To be older and sick and forgotten / alone , is rough .
There is no easy answer. I’ve seen the positive and negatives, both, of caring for the elderly and infirm at home. Sometimes it works well. Until it doesn’t. Sometimes, it doesn’t, or won’t, won’t work at all. Sometimes, such as retirement homes and assisted living centers work better because the residents live with their peers. Sometimes, living with children works well. Each family, and each situation, is different. Not every person in a nursing home is treated horribly. Not every elderly parent living at home is in a good situation.
@Rob1948 agree . I am in acute care and trauma care and I miss a lot of the long care reality . 20 yrs ago I used to moonlight at nursing homes in Florida for extra money , and my heart couldn't take it . Some of them very nice .
The problem was loneliness . Not the facility . No matter what I did for these folks , I couldn't get a big smile 
I have done the clown , the monkey , the activity thing , everything I knew and could think , most people just wanted to see their kids and their grandkids .
8 yrs ago some of my old dancing partners and I we started visiting nursing facilities once or twice a month . We registered with their volunteer program and now we visit w our dogs too . We do funny sketches and all type of tricks .
Some x we get a laugh , some none .
The last two years I do litle of that . I just go maybe once a month and I drink coffee w old people . They wanna talk .
That's all they want at the very end . Just talk and a chance to say their stories .
If u find the ones that kids don't visit , it makes your x worth it . Once I took few outside to outing , but liability and such won't permit for more
Words of wisdom from the sweetest badass I know. 
Keep your guest room on standby......never know when this old broad might need your special brand of TLC. 
Lavergne
Level 8
Sep 6, 2019
3
You might portray yourself as a dragon, but hose of us that know you, know you are an angel. Not in the biblical sense, but that there is no better way to describe you and your actions.
glennlab
Level 10
Sep 6, 2019
4
I am a dragon ! Glenn , I did nothing for her , just some talks and work . Point is , we all know alone people . Sick and alone even worse !
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