Sex is okay... But I much prefer an emotional connection!

Sex has nothing to do with love making.

To me, I do not call it making love unless I feel a strong emotional bond with someone; and I will not be that intimate with a person unless I feel that bond. Also, if I reach that level with someone, they will be the only one. This does not mean, however, that sometimes the sex with this special person cannot also be very primal (about filling an immediate desire); but, the emotional/love/bond is still there.

To me having sex means a " quickie", without preliminary. It's when passion strikes hard... Most of the time I'll enjoy it psychologically but I won't have an orgasm. "Making love" means to me having good sex, with preliminary arousal, intercourse and a little fooling around after. Then I could come at least once and maybe 3 to 6 times. To me both can happen with or without "love". I noticed that it becomes extremely hard to find a male partner who " makes love". I always tend to do it, even when I had one night stands, because I enjoy all of it and like to offer my best. It's almost a question of honor ! It's an art. But since men are so lazy I felt extremely insatisfied and just stopped having sex.

I feel sex is following our biological urges to simply have sex. Where as love in this context, I would define as having a connection with someone where you feel each other's needs and know each other very well, which is what creates an emotional bond.

To have good sex, unless I guess there is absolutely overwhelming lust, there has to be a certain vulnerabilty/level of trust.