I think it’s all just part of life and it’s tapestry of joy and sadness interwoven throughout from birth to death. We only think we can be broken, but it has been proven time and again that human resilience and endurance can win against the most unbearable strains. We need the contrasts in our lives because to understand the joys fully we have to have experienced the pains. I’m now quite old, having lived into my seventh decade, and I can say with a degree of certainty that it’s life’s joys one remembers more vividly than the pain. It’s the sweetness of the apples you remember eating, not how many fell and were left to rot.

I have a visceral reaction to this. I don't believe life will break me (or by extension, anyone else) as long as I resist. The act of resistance is victory.

I've heard this quote before, and I've always liked it. I totally get it. It's about love of all kinds. And the only way to grow is to learn from our experiences, good and bad. That includes the connections we make with each other and with ourselves.

Reminds me of this:
"There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." -- Leonard Cohen

For pete's sake! Solitude does not = dead! One still loves, feels, etc... I'll take solitude over any piss poor relationaship ANY day!

Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance . Charles Bukowski

I think it’s better to engage life than to try to keep it from touching us, but I don’t really think we are “here to do anything in particular.” I think we are just here.

And given that we are here, we may as well make what we can of it. And I don’t think just feeling it and letting it consume us is necessarily the best that can be made of it.

I don’t think it would be wrong to do that, but I don’t see that as the pinnacle of potential human reward.

We exist in a system. That system will have its way with us. Our only options, it seems to me, are to be endlessly baffled by, and beaten by that system, or to become a serious student of it, and learn how to make it work for us to the extent such is possible.

So yes, love, and feel...
and learn.

Love that quote and Louise Erdrich. Love eludes me. I would like to know the feeling again of perhaps even just a like minded companion. I have lived alone a long time.

I love author Louise Erdrich's books. But I disagree with "Life will break you."

Painful experiences are an opportunity to learn and grow. When I feel hurt by criticism, I try to listen for the kernel of truth, learn from it, and let the bad feelings go.

We can grow at any age. This is your life, not a rehearsal.

"I'm no good alone," my mother said. This was common with women her age. After Dad died, Mom lived for 20 years with a critical, controlling boyfriend. John lived in her house, traveled on her dime and lived off her inheritance. I couldn't stand him.

"I like the lifestyle," John replied when Mom asked if he loved her. At my mother's request, I packed John's belongings and threw him out of her house. "You are the only one of my kids with the moxie to do it," she said.

"If you don't stop yelling at my mother, I'm calling the police," I said firmly, stepping between them with phone in hand, already dialed. John backed down. I did this repeatedly.

Mom gave John her car, buying a new car. She had a U-Haul delivered. I loaded the U-Haul. The next morning, she had the locks on her house changed.

The next day, we flew to Washington State for a month, where John couldn't find her. She spend the month with me, recovering from the emotional strain.

Mom's dreadful experience with John cured her of the fear of living alone.

Yes, very much, and I love this.

Although, with the practice of meditation, I've learned to stay in the moment and not judge things as being good or bad. I try to simply observe them. With this comes the recognition that I'm not to react emotionally, but just change my focus or direction.

My greatest disappointments have led me down better paths.

I have been listening/reading the Tao Te Ching and I think it has the perfect attitude toward this. When bad things arise don’t resist them or fight them. Just let it flow thru you and be thankful for everything for even the bad teaches us a lesson

Not a fan. Although it sounds penetrating at a first read I don't buy into the "it is better to have love and lost" fortune cookie "wisdom".

I loved. Deeply. With utter dedication. Twice, and over many decades. I lost. The loss was such that it shred my being to pieces.

The whole Romantic notion that "we are here to love" is the cause of so much heartbreak, of so many wrong ideas about what "love" is supposed to be. In the 21st century a significant portion of humans are living single lives and some of them prefer it that way.

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species- W Somerset Maugham

Seems like a quote perfectly attuned to humanism.

If we ever actually give up, it's over. When we feel like giving up, quotes like this help to normalize the feeling... that at some point, we all feel down or broken...and the point is to find ways to re-engage...every time. To still learn, to be better, grow, but to re-engage. "It's not how you fall down; it's how you get back up" (seems just about along the same lines)

i like it. i don’t really believe in any actual designed purpose for human beings, but i learned by cutting myself off from everyone for years that it doesn’t help. losing loved ones is a part of life, as much as i wish it wasn’t. we evolved to be social, so solitude hurts us more. we’re all going to die in the end, and we’re all broken, so let’s just enjoy what we have while we have it.

"When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. " - Kahlil Gibran

No, not really so with, I've been living alone for well over 14 years now, though I do have 1 very good friend ( more like a Brother than a friend I'd say) who visits from time to time ( usually about 2-3 times a week), but I have my hobbies, artworks that I do, music, etc, etc, so solitude isn't really that much of a problem for me.
And, as hard as life has tried to 'break' me, I've always managed to bounce back and face it again somehow.

One is only . . . broken . . . when one accepts that. I don't. The ancient Greek tragedians had a much healthier outlook, their view was that one must face the challenges of life with stoic defiance of the circumstances, even in the face of a certain fall. The epic hero was the one who defied any gods or fate, rose above it, and in the end left their shining example of defying any of the miseries fate brought upon them. One is never defeated until one accepts being defeated.
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I see "love" as an over-used word, and generally, nothing but an illusion . . . . people believe what they want to believe, and act in their own interest. Read JEAN-PAUL SARTRE From Being and Nothingness - Love and Sexual Desire . . . and it will destroy many illusions about "love" . . .

Sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don't!

Love it, and am passing it on.

Life is experimental, always has been!!!

If you can not cope or comprehend, then of course life will break you!!!

It has always been with you, once you are old enough to plot or find your own way!!!

Blaming others for your own self comings will only lead to more problems real or imagined!!!

The funny bit is , the crow/raven is sitting on a grape vine , not an apple tree . Dad's property was nearly 9 acres , at least half of which was planted in mature apple trees . The orchards were pretty quiet . About love , Dad decided to have a son . He got Mom pregnant , then went off to clean up after the war . To say he was disappointed at my birth , is an understatement . He was so set on my assigned gender , that they had only picked out a boy's name , which he decided he should give to me anyhow . Johnny Cash had a song about that . His was called , "A Boy Named Sue ." My first Ex , was so in love with his Mommy , that there was never room in our marriage for me . My second ex . , it turned out , had a preference for beating up , his pregnant wives . At some point in all of that , I chose to be who I am . I like the me I chose to be . It wasn't a happenstance . While I was single , between number one and number two , I decided to have some new experiences , and bought a notebook and wrote in it things , that I felt were right for me . The first was a quote from Shirley Chisholm , a black teacher , who was running for President . She said you can't love someone else until you love yourself . That's very important . Another thing I chose was both to learn and teach (not talking being a teacher as a profession , here) . In my book , it is extremely important to be able to respect the person I am with , and for him to respect me . I've always been a voracious reader ,and decided , while I had the opportunity , to put myself through collage . I volunteered at a local hospital on Sunday afternoons . I've never smoked , used illegal drugs , and though I do drink wine on a very , very rare occassion , it's mostly not at all . Basically , I prefer sparkling or just plain fruit juice . I joined a gym for a few years , until osteo arthritis settled in . I learned ball room dancing , learned about Sci/Fi Cons ( fun) , and joined Mensa . I raised my children , and did all the things Moms are suppose to do . Well Most - I wasn't into PTA stuff . As my girls were grewing up , I invested in real estate as a second form of investing/income , so I'd be able to put them through collage . I learned what they now refer to flipping , was better than holding rentals , at least until my joints gave out on me . I'm retied now . I've met quite a few people , had one whom I consider the love of my life . Took me ten years to get past that one . I think it would have been nice to have had more love in my life , but most certainly is not a necessity . It's more important that I love the me , I chose to be . If someone else fits into the me I chose to be ,that's just gravey on the mashed potatoes , or icing on the cake .

Yes. This resonates very much. Beautiful!

I agree mostly but I am suspicious of anything which says "Have to...." . In order to keep breathing you "Have to" expand and contract your lungs. Love and other things are bonuses which I agree are beneficial but unfortunately people can sometimes find their way around, not even loving themselves. If you can love yourself you are on the way to sustainability.

Well, I don't think we are here to love, to feel etc. But, we are here and we are capable of having emotions and understanding them; and, we have evolved to need social interactions. So, I do think that it is best when we can appreciate life and the limited time we have to experience as much of it as possible.

No

This is beautiful - and it resonates with me. Thanks for sharing