Back due to popular demand, but please stick to subject of dating photos. Thank you 
One for the ladies really: I’m on a dating site and there are so many photos of men looking sad, with shades on, with a beer in front of their faces. It’s kind of hilarious and makes my job as a person looking for someone lovely to spend their life with a lot easier... but here’s the question; what the hell are those guys thinking? I don’t care how handsome you are; if you can’t crack a smile I’m not going to want to date you! Does anyone go for these guys?
7
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63 comments (26 - 50)
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.If I ever decide to use one of the dating sites, I’ll remember: to smile, no beer, show face. Got it. 
mentalinnuendo
Level 5
Nov 1, 2019
2
Some men look like they want to punch the person holding the camera. They look grim, sullen and/or angry.
Nobody wants to date an angry or depressed person. Every picture tells a story whether intended or not.
What matters the most with your online dating profile? One word: Photos.
You have 5 seconds to make a good impression. If your main photo is not clear, bright and attractive, they move on. A genuine smile is inviting, warm and appealing. Women want to see your eyes and smile.
If you look happy in your photos, women will see you as a fun person they will enjoy being around.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
Nov 1, 2019
2
Well it seems that most women feel the same as me. Some don’t, and have their reasons; which are interesting. The men have a bit to say too 
Good luck with the dating all.
girlwithsmiles
Level 8
Nov 2, 2019
2
@MichaelSpinler Please, write your own post, this is about how women perceive men’s photos. Game playing is a different subject again. Perhaps yourself @GIjeff04 and @storm1752 can start one, you all seem to have your own agenda on this post.
@girlwithsmiles sorry. I thought I was answering the post with what I thought was relevant anecdotal experience. Obviously it was a generalization. I certainly have met amazing people from online but they are few and far between and I'm referring to the pay-for dating sites. Not this site. I saw gals griping about guys and guys can gripe about gals, it seemed reasonable at the time. Sorry to cause any consternation. Hope you have a great weekend
@MichaelSpinler I’m not man bashing and and not sexist. The genders perceive things differently, yes it’s a spectrum and not an absolute. This is the first post I’ve ever made that has been gender specific... and will probably be the last due to the nightmare comments.
@GIjeff04 I’m sorry you got conned into one of those paid sites, some do string you along to get your money and are not a true reflection of dating as the women get paid to post. Unless you’re talking eharmony; that’s legit
@MichaelSpinler assumptions, assumptions and an inability to converse about the topic at hand. Good evening.
@girlwithsmiles this motherfucker honestly went and accused you and this post of man-bashing and being sexist... yeesh sounds like an incel! Yikes! I guess the OP had to specifically state this is about this demographic of men, NOT ALL MEN! NOT ALL MEN! NOT ALL MEN! And yes multiple times in caps locks because the notallmen brigade are kinda slow and do not catch it if you say it once in lowercase letters... trust me I've tried. xD
I don't get the shades, I mean why hide your face? Beer, seems immature but I will be 53 next month so maybe that's my age showing.
GreatNani
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
3
Yes, I feel the same
I need them to at least have one friendly pic . Toxic masculinity is a part of it I think . Trying to look tough
AngelaWBro
Level 3
Nov 1, 2019
3
In my age bracket some guys are still trying to "look hard" aka look tough so they refuse to post any smileys pics just all trying to look like a pissed off badass pics. XD
demifeministgal
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
3
LoL I can't believe some of the pictures that women (I'm sure it's true for men too) put up on dating sights in hopes of getting a man to respond. Some have glamor shots that are years old, some look sour, or angry, or no makeup & hair's unwashed or unkempt... Yeah, um, no thanks. 
freeman99
Level 1
Nov 2, 2019
2
How would you know if they were not wearing makeup though? Some of us wear light makeup that is undetectable, especially via photos... for example I wear concealer and eyebrow filler but you wouldn't guess that from a pic... and would wrongfully assume I am not wearing any... interesting thing how some straight/bi men are better makeup experts than women! 
Sad and a beer? That's sad...
Cutiebeauty
Level 9
Nov 2, 2019
2
The beer is warm 
Looks like there is some research to suggest not smiling isn't too bad for men. Also sad looking is a subjective judgment.
[dailymail.co.uk]
Spongebob
Level 7
Nov 1, 2019
1
Well they can keep them! And so can you.
@girlwithsmiles I can't stop smiling 
There's plenty that would keep me from considering a man; I skip those who golf, fish, hunt, watch sports obsessively, drink commercial beer from cans, eat red meat and/or junk food, men who've never traveled, men who don't read, etc. In my old age I'm pickier than I've ever been because I now know what I'm not willing to tolerate, or to give up my freedom for.
birdingnut
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
2
You've elimated everyone I've ever dated
I should be perfect for you then, IF I was willing to give up MY freedom.
@Storm1752 Exactly.
Although the not smiling doesn't bother me in the slightest I do wonder why some don't use some basic editing to center their photo, and mabey retake the selfie a few times so the angle and expression looks attractive weather it be a smile or not...
I'm a very a un-photogenic person. I've never published a selfie I haven't taken at least 10-15 times and edited.
MsAl
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
2
I guess we’re all looking for something different. Your would be man would be more techie and patient than mine interesting.
Then there are the ones that have 73 photos all with the same, forced, corpselike grimace.
But that is usually women.
CapriKious
Level 7
Nov 1, 2019
2
You have a point there. And the angle is always the exact same in each. Like someone once said, "Oh, that's your good side."
May I add to your list....guys making a kissy/duck face, using Snapchat filters, and scantily clad pictures
Marcie1974
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
1
Do guys actually do that on dating sites?
I'm not even "scantily clad" in the shower! I not even sure what that means.
@mentalinnuendo yes, yes they do. And it's the silliest thing I've ever seen.
@mentalinnuendo absolutely
@Marcie1974, @PondartIncbendog, @Wildflower, @ArtzyNerd, @motrubl4u I must be out of the loop then. LOL Of course, I haven’t tried the online dating thing yet.
@mentalinnuendo I assure you, young-ish guys (aka under 40, or between 20-40) do everything she has mentioned in dating bio pics.
Awful photos are a non-gender-specific problem.
Shawno1972
Level 7
Nov 6, 2019
0
Perhaps, but what makes a photo awful doesn’t seem to be. Some men seem to be referring to weight, whilst I don’t think any women have.
@girlwithsmiles I'd rather not play the "which gender is better at what" game.
Maybe my autism makes me a bit weird, because I read the words someone writes before I check any photos. Still relatively new here, and have decided to follow both men and women who write with clarity and thoughtfulness (and use the shift key).
I've done the meat-market-meetup sites, to no avail. Ageism is rampant, and the guy's fantasies seem to always get in the way.
I like this site--the intelligence and generalized acceptance is profoundly refreshing.
Ellen-SoCal
Level 5
Nov 4, 2019
1
Agreed. And when you run into an exception, there's always the "block" button on the offending person's profile.
I am really terrible at selfies. Bad lighting, reflections off my glasses and never sure how to hold the phone for a good angle. Even as a kid I hated having my picture taken. In everyday life I am smiling and laughing far more than serious face.
Barnie2years
Level 8
Nov 2, 2019
1
Hey, Barnie. A good way to take a self-shot is to use your camera's (or phone's) timer feature. Put it on a tripod, or a shelf, set it for 5 or 10 seconds, then move in front of it to capture your charm.
Or, it could be that women (from the time they're little girls) learn that if they want something, all they have to do is smile.While males typically only smile when they are laughing at, or with someone. Also, some people have over-bites, and are incapable of 'toothy' smiles.
davknight
Level 8
Nov 2, 2019
1
They don't call it Asbergers in the US any more. It's ASD (easier to type, btw). I have it too.
I've been on and off dating sites for a long time now and what I have basically boiled it down to is what women generally want is a guy with money. Rich guys. Of course the dating profile "code" is successful or stable but it seems pretty classist to me. Plus after years of working in wealthy communities where gorgeous women are commonly coupled with rich arrogant slobs I guess I'm cynical
GIjeff04
Level 4
Nov 2, 2019
0
Zzz start a post of your own, what part of, ‘this one is for the ladies’ don’t you get?
It’s one thing to be the first one to comment fishing for complements, but I don’t want your sexist bullshit on this post. Move along.
@girlwithsmiles Oh insulting men, which you did with obvious relish, is one thing. But when men fire back, it's sexist bullshit...
I see.
I will say the women here are of a much higher caliber, overall, than those on your typical "dating site." Probably because this isn't "really" a dating site. Not to me, anyway.
@Storm1752 see comment above to Spinler. I’m not insulting men, I’m discussing what women find attractive or not in a photo on an online dating site. You could read and educate yourself, but you chose to jump to another man’s defence when you see him get challenged.
I’m pretty sure GI can answer for himself... in fact he did so, also above.
Wow this post is hard work! Lols.
Not only do they often have a bear in front of them but also what they wear. Singlets are a put off big time.
Jolanta
Level 9
Nov 2, 2019
1
Oh yes, and shirtless. That puts me off, especially if it’s a selfie taken laying on a bed!
I didn't understand a word of that? Singlets? Bears?
@PondartIncbendog Singlet-British for undershirt, either tee or (usually) wife beater.
@girlwithsmiles no clothes, no contact. Period!
After reading these comments, I'm apparently screwed. In the only one where I'm NOT smiling, I'm with my cat, and my primary profile pic has sunglasses!!! I am not photogenic and seriously dislike most pics of myself. And, I DO smile alot, so maybe I'm just nuts.
LisaFultonave
Level 6
Nov 1, 2019
1
I’m not sure if it’s the same for women, I hate photos too. For my dating selfie I imagined meeting someone that I really liked.
Enjoy being online again!
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