Very, very well put!

I have the mirror image to that. I have a close female friend who I have fallen in love with. She knows it, and of course it's not reciprocated, yet we remain close friends. It's sometimes very affectionate and sometimes very painful. I just survive it day-by-day. I expect it will come to an end when she meets someone she wants to be with. Until then, except for the absence of sex, she's like one of the best girlfriends I've ever had.

WOW WOW You sure your not being just a little rough on us Men ? I know as I was reading that post I was feeling it and totally understand how that person felt ! A heart felt friendship with any person is at least for me is so rare that I can see how you would do almost any thing for a Gift like that and to risk it being that Honest tells me that trust was there on both sides. IDK the few people I have witnesed man/women with a Heart felt relationship it went much deeper just the " I want to jump your bones every minuete " I also don't think men are the only ones who just want one thing some time. Some time I would hope that to healty Adults feel so very safe and satisfied and in love just sitting next to each other with a news paper, cup of coffee and not a word said as if mabey even better then sex theres a whole lot to those Rare Gifts they should be applaud when we see any friendship like that ya us men were sooo Baddd sometimes wink wink

I'd like to hear from men on this point. Do you agree with @birdingnut's comment?

@nomorechristian LOL! Of course the men will claim to be friends, since admitting to lust would only horrify their naive female friends, most of whom think everyone is like they are.

Exceptions are women with high levels of testosterone, who are likely to have a strong libido also, as I do, except that I'm a demisexual (zero attraction to either gender without a sustained relationship of over a year).

Also, men on the asexual spectrum or with high levels of female hormones, like a high percentage of Asian men. When I was in Thailand, most people I knew were androgynous in appearance-men tended to be slender and pretty, women had the figures of ten year old boys, and many were bi.

@birdingnut Very interesting what you said about Asian men.

@nomorechristian I reject generalizations on principle. There are always exceptions. Secondly, just speaking for myself, I have a pretty large circle of female friends I have not attempted to have sex with. I call these places my "3rd places". Bootcamp, yoga and camping. I broke the rule on the camping, but it was just spontaneous sex and it did not ruin the comradarie and it was not repeated. Some women hold a low opinion of men, hence all of the derogatory comments and names towards men.

From a male point of view, it is fascinating the amount of stereo types and generalizations I encounter. And since I have dated/been with women from/born in different countries and cultures, it is refreshing dealing with women who were not raised/programmed with so much faulty information.

I think in general you're correct. Most straight single men won't turn down a chance at sex. They'll deal with the fall out later. Of course there are exceptions. They won't usually have sex with a friend they don't find attractive. They would with a reasonably attractive female friend. If their female friend is married, most men won't cross that line. In my opinion. If their friend initiates the contact, look out.

@OwlInASack Thanks. I have heard of it. An adolescents pipe dream. I think particularly from the female perspective it would be difficult to have a sexual relationship without emotional ties.

@OwlInASack lol it's no more scary or unhealthy than serial monogamists, that jump from one relationship or marriage to the next because they cannot bear to be single. Just sayin'

@demifeministgal So is a person allowed to have FsWB or is it a solo thing ?. I don't think either party would be too happy to contract a STD from their FWB

@Moravian I am not sure what you are asking? Are you asking if the FWBs can be hooking up with other people themselves? Or if both parties can be hooking up with multiple sex partners? Or something else.

@demifeministgal i thought i was being obvious. i have been monogamous ,with several different partners, since my twenties so I am not conversant with the FWB culture.
Do they tend to just have one FWB or several. Obviously this is quite different from a one night stand where there is mostly little emotinal involvement.

@Allamanda Sorry ? what on earth are you on about. Can I not ask for some clarification from someone who seems to know about the subject.
You do .like the personal attacks. I am ignorant as well as being rude now !!

@OwlInASack yes you have a point there. I can remember in my single days meeting a young lady at a country dance or whatever and it was they who initiated sexual activity.
I'm just getting romatic in my elderly years

@OwlInASack ahh okay I see. I did not know there was a personal element to this whole thing for you.... I thought it was just an older guy terrified of change of the youngins as per that trope of old people scared of the new ways. XD I think your son will eventually learn to be in a healthy long-term relationship.... if he was in a FWBs dynamic he clearly was not ready, be it psychologically or financially or career-wise, for a serious relationship. As for falling in love, these things require a type of maturity and lots of introspective thinking and self-awareness. One needs to be honest with themselves and determine if they are getting in to a FWBs for the right reasons. If your son honestly cared for that girl/woman and so settled for FWBs or he was soo lonely he could not bear to be alone, those were terrible reasons to agree to a FWBs. If it kind of snuck up on him, the falling in love thing, he needed to be honest with her and decide how to proceed from there... either end it himself or be prepared for her ending things (if she is a decent lady) once he was honest. These things work out best if both parties are open and honest (heck honest with their damn selves) and communicate about the arrangement frequently.

@Moravian I am not sure. I imagine some people are in open style FWBs dynamics in which case they have a primary FWB, but both parties or one party is still sleeping with others. Then there are other ones, like mine, where we only sleep with one another and if either of us starts dating someone (beyond a couple of dates) we break it off completely and revert to just platonic friends. I think our dynamic have lower STD odds than the ones that sleep around and have a FWB.

@OwlInASack that's good that you didn't stigmatize sex for him.... hopefully instructed him about STDs/STIs as well cuz that matters This is why I think young teens or pre-teens are not ready to date and get into that complicated emotional mess.... but then, I did not start dating until the summer after I graduated high school so I guess I am not representative of the typical teen experience XD though for all of my friends that started dating early it did not work to their advantage and they did not have any edge over someone like me that waited, in fact it caused additional baggage that could have been avoided... ah well.

I think she is overtly pushing him away because she is trying to give her new relationship a chance... I did that with my ex when I thought I might get serious with someone... not so much being mean just seriously distancing myself as a friend from him.... I would wager she is doing something similar except more inconsiderately sadly.

I think he will find his way.... the only difference amongst my generation and older ones is that we have less marriages/divorces to contend with.... people were still doing unhealthy relationships with the wrong partners and having to deal with heartbreak with the addition of a costly divorce attached.... he has a broken heart but is saving much time and money not having to go through a divorce the silver lining, you see

@demifeministgal Sorry, I did not mean to appear judgemental. How others conduct their lives is no concern of mine but really giving it a fancy acronym does not change the fact that it is just a casual relationship without commitment.
Each new generation think they invented sex which gets a wry smile from the oldies.
The introduction of the contraceptive pill in the early '60's liberated women but as the original poster intimated emotions can get in the way.

@Moravian I mean people are still human in the end.... we may not be ready for a relationship, but does that mean we are to go celibate and without human touch until we are?? Especially as a
young-ish person? why? Because we didn't find the one for marriage/LTR as early as some others have? It could be soo much worse than a FWBs, one could be in the hookup culture and having reckless one-night stands.... this seems like a nice medium between sleeping around and being alone and celibate.

@OwlInASack you approached the sex topic very well then... I received a catholic styled "sex education" which really should be called fear mongering and an STD/STI education.... on the parental front a man WILL use me for sex and discard me OR a man WILL get me pregnant and leave me, so don't have sex before marriage! On the high school front.... LOOK AT ALL THESE STDs/STIs you WILL catch if you engage in premarital sex! So don't have sex before marriage.... no mention of condoms or preventative measures cuz ya know, marriage keeps our bodies safe from all those pesky STDs/STIs amirite? sarcasm

On the drinking front it was more sane... could try a sip of wine or booze at xmas or on my bday as a kid/teen so there was no urge to drink... even to this day I dislike booze unless it is sweet hate bitter taste.

@OwlInASack I think it is normal for Europeans not to make a big deal about booze, especially during holidays or celebrations.... everyone I know from a european background or european immigrant parents (like myelf) underage drinking is not seen as taboo and is allowed.

@demifeministgal Good point. I didn't mean to come over as prudish. I just found the FWB thing a bit confusing. I'm not a great fan of txt speak

@Moravian It's just if one restricts their sexuality until they've found the one, that is a very lonely existence.... and it is exactly what the fckng catholic church would love if I did, remained celibate until I found a husband! fck that and fck them! >:/