Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back is often the reason we need stuff like a restraining order and pepper spray,

I don't think I've ever been in love, at least not true love, where it was mutual. So, I can't comment on that ideal. I did have a strong fondness for someone once, but the timing wasn't right and I didn't pursue it. It was a nice feeling to want to be with someone, even though it didn't work out.

When I was young, I always thought I wanted someone to love me. Turns out that is hell, for me anyway.

To have someone love me, when I don't want their love, seems to have been the problem of my life, and kept me from finding my own happiness, I think. The only love I have experienced from men seems to be possessive and controlling, where my every moment is owned by that person.

Now that I'm totally on my own, except for an ex-boyfriend who is trying every trick in the book to get me back, I'm much happier. My life is my own, and I don't really care if anyone ever loves me again. I would rather have me, myself, the way I want to be, doing the things I love to do, not sacrificing the way I want to live my life, for someone else's way of life.

It is true that the person being sought after has some power in the relationship, in a way, but the person doing pursuing can have power over that person too, if they know how to exploit what are normally good qualities, such as loyalty.

I'm good without the power plays, and just want to enjoy my life without interference. Hate to sound like a grinch, but I don't really think true love is out there for me, so I'm happy to do without that romantic love I always dreamed of.

Next time some guy comes into my life wanting to control me, I will say "no thanks" been there done that. It's time to live my own life now.

If a mutual love isn’t an option, I’d prefer to be in love. I’d prefer to be responsible for my actions and emotions than feel like I was hurting another person.

I’ve been infatuated with other people, and not had them return my affection, but there was never enough of a relationship to call it love.

Yes, and yes, but oh so long ago that I hardly remember it. Now i just simply love myself every day.

I wouldn't want it one way or the other. I would prefer it be mutual. Otherwise, what's the use?

I've been strongly attracted to someone else without them feeling the same and I have had others profess their love without me being attracted to them in that way.

Unless it is mutual... I'd rather have neither.

The story of my life. Always one way or the other, my personal statistics don't matter here. Suffice to say, the few ones that found each other, I wonder at times if the realize how incredibly lucky they really are....

Not a difficult choice: The latter. By far. It's way better to be loved.

As I have posted before, "love" is a myth...it is more aptly called, "consorting pairs"...a temporary hormonal condition. My theory that there is no such thing as romantic love is supported by the number of divorces (about 50%), and the large number of unhappy marriages. But, hope seems to spring eternal despite the evidence.

Either way is bad for both people.

Neither, unrequited love is not worth for anyone involved.

I think all of us at some point in time have experienced this.

I'd rather have someone that loves me. Loving someone that doesn't love you can be painful.

Been on both sides ... and both came with ongoing frustrations and hurts. I'll seek mutual or nothing.

I think it is all I have been in all of these situations. I'm sure it is very common. I don't think it is a bad thing.
When you love someone and they don't love you back, you can learn from it. You can learn that it is impossible to force someone to feel the way that you want them to. I have had a man in love with me but I didn't love him. That can teach you to be humbled, and can teach you to face your feelings and learn how to say " no".I married my husband when I was 19 and we were married for 25 years. We didn't have a bad marriage, but, it was up and down. When he loved me, I didn't love him. When I loved him he didn't love me. I learned a lot about letting go from that marriage, and after we divorced, we remained best friends till he died. I really think it is normal, and we can choose to learn from it, or just go through life upset.

Reading so many varied answers below I am so sad to see such confusion looking back and projecting forward......love to me is the gift of self to a lover..
..I cannot imagine giving less than all that I am.....but from my readings of others people must slice themselves up into portions below.....the bonding and withdrawal pains are obvious in some words below......how I feel about my past giving is a bit like kiss&tell......it must be much harder for a woman to feel safe enough to love no matter how attractive their choice must look sound taste smell and feel.....the saddest words I read were how a woman made a great friend she would not love who loved her.....however I could never get angry over such rejection... It is certainly worse for a woman to sleep with a man she does not love.....better to find that out before the bonding occurs

Once had someone who loved me.
Who I let go.
Only later in life did I realise I made a mistake to let her go.

I am at a point where I would prefer that someone be in love with me rather than the other way around. Or to put it this way, the person would have to love me more than I do him.
I have been in love with someone for years who kept me as a FWB. Made the mistake of getting in touch with him again 30 years later and experienced the same feelings. He recently remarried and it pissed me off! He's the reason I will never do FWB again with anyone.
There was a man in college I was friends with that I genuinely liked but could not love even though it was clear he would do anything for me. Physically I was not attracted to him at all and didn't think that trying to be was fair to either one of us. He was upset about it and I was happy to see him find someone that felt the same way about him.
Unfortunately I don't think it shakes out equally which is what makes love a bitch in general.

prefer someone be in love with me

Love someone who didn't love me back?...no...
Apparently loved by someone I couldn't reciprocate?...couple times...

I would prefer to be kindly disposed towards people and by have them feel the same towards me.

. . . not the only 2 choices ! :

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I've suffered from unrequited love many times. I get slapped down, rejected, and humiliated.

I would much rather be the object of someone else's unrequited love. Nobody suffers because it doesn't happen.

Had it all different ways. To me another depends issue. First off how does one measure love? It's kind of hard. I may love someone because of certain qualities (sense of humor, quick wittedness, talents, sense of humor, etc. and she may love me for certain of my qualities. This was my last relationship and we had something to bring to the relationship. However, I learned big time no one can fully appreciate another until they have lost them. Maybe, I would love and appreciate another more than she me because of having lost a significant other. Don't really know.

My best friend always has told me it's better to love someone a little better than they love you. I just got out of a relationship in which I loved someone more than they loved me. It was heartbreaking. Before that, though, the guy I was dating loved me more than I loved him. The brain chemistry of attraction is a fascination for me. I wish there were some magic potion to make it mutual. When it happens once in a while, it's astonishing and satisfies every longing there is, probably at the DNA level.