Or, just stay single...
LOL! Well, I am currently happily single! But it would be nice to have this in my life one day when I have more time.
I say never settle, but never look for perfection either. There is definitely a middle ground here. This may just be the Asperger's in me (we don't read facial/social cues very well,) but I would rather have someone TELL me what they need and how they feel rather than having to guess all the time. Granted, I will happily put in the effort for the right woman, but a little bit of openness on her end would also go a long way.
I kind of think unless you can do the exact sme for your partner, no...... "remind them" about how you want them to be?? seems a bit utopian.