(SOME SPOILERS AHEAD.)

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through Nakatomi
Hans Gruber was stirring
with his terrorist homies.
The hostages were huddled
in fear of their lives
while cop John McCain
argued shit with his wife.
He phoned 911
but no help they sent
so with a nod and wink
He climbed into the vents.
Killed Tony, killed Franco
Uli, Fritz and Kristoff,
Marco, James, Alexander
I'm sensing he's pissed off.
Mclane took to the roof
to search for his honey
but Hans, it turns out
is just here for the money.
With a wink on his eye
and a voice that won't quit
he points to the roof and says
"YO! EXPLODE THAT SHIT."
But Mclane escapes
being blown to smithereens
and confronts the big boss
in the climactic final scene.
Hans thinks that he's won
and that evil prevails.
He chuckles and smirks
but then...BOOM! HAPPY TRAILS!
Taken off guard
backwards he crept
for a hasty retreat
but WATCH THAT FIRST STEP.
Justice delivered
so swift and so sweet.
Once a snooty robber
now a smudge on the street.
As Mclane drove away
his voice was heard so clear and bright
"YIPPEE KAY-YAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

I like my version better than the original.