Is social media destroying relationships? When my EX boyfriend stayed over one night, the next morning he said "I want to wake up to Facebook, you're too hyper" (when I came into the other room). I had an urge to take his phone and throw it at the wall but I supressed it.
He was annoyed that I wanted to spend time together in the morning. He was ADDICTED to his cell phone and Facebook. It caused a huge strain on our relationship.
A lot of people have bad "digital hygiene" and don't seem to realize they're fucking up their own lives because of it. There will likely be little to show for it in the future.
This sums it up for me:
You have been scarce lately.
I have missed you, too. Glad you are back!
@LiterateHiker (((( Kathleen)))
He probably had a social media addiction and it is actually a huge dis for him to consider that comparatively empty and shallow activity superior to relating to you. So I'm glad he's "ex".
I say "probably" because another reason some guys escape into other things is that they are super approach avoidant around intimacy. You also may have just been a bad personality match for each other -- perhaps he needed someone less intense. Any way you look at it though making him an ex was clearly the way to go.
That sounds like a HIM problem, not a social media problem. He may have had an addictive personality. That is like saying is alcohol or weed destroying relationships? No. It is people that lack impulse control and cannot manage things in moderation that are the problem. I feel the same way about video games. Are video games destroying relationships? My ex was obsessed with them. Like put stupid online fighting games over sex obsessed. But I still won't claim they ruin relationships but I damn well learned my lesson and will never date a gamer again. yughh
Short answer is "yes" - there are many articles written by divorce attorneys that state unequivocally that FB and other social media has made cheating, flirting, hooking up and diverting attentions much easier.
It has also made finding evidence of same much easier too.
Generally speaking (and admitting that I may be a bit old fashioned here), while I acknowledge that for millennials social media is an essential part of being in touch and sharing with one another, I personally find it rude when someone can't put down their device while I am in their company.
My phone is on silent and put away while spending time with hominids.
Ummmm, why is the "EX" spending the night? He is EX for a reason, remember?
I noticed that too. I have a lot of EXs but none of them would let me spend the night now.
@BitFlipper which means you would not necessarily say no if an offer was made? Correct?
@demifeministgal I can't imagine that ever happening.
@demifeministgal I am saying Hell No right now before even being asked!!!!!
@BitFlipper LOL cannot entertain hypotheticals?
@AnneWimsey And I would say no to most and yes to ONE and only one.
@demifeministgal hypothetical my ass, that cheating manwhore would think it was a great idea!
His message is you are not important. I would dump him.
From that description, you should thank social media because it saved you time and pain. Use everything like that as a filter or an opportunity to tell that person how you feel If they choose to listen, move forward. If they choose to ignore you, dump them.
Everyone has therir morning routines, but i thought spending the night at someone else's house meant accepting the routine would get changed for a day. Anyhow, being shitty in the morning is like being shitty when youre drunk... its just because youre a shit
I’d much rather have morning sex than check my news feed!
That part
In short answer to your first question, Yes. It is destroying many things that have been associated with humanity and sociableness for the last 3.4 million years. ...And all this destruction over about 15 years. Humans are a wondrous lot.
Speaking only for myself, I don't need Facebook or any other particular cellphone item in the morning (unless I need to check email for work or something like that, but that's obligation rather than a psychological need). But I'm also not at all a morning person, so I need to do something that doesn't involve other people for an hour or six, until I can perk up and feel moderately social. So, I might take to my phone for an extended period just for something quiet and solitary to occupy my mind. It might seem in the morning that I'm antisocial and/or surly — probably true — but mostly I'm just so introverted that I need that time to mentally charge up for the grueling task of social interaction. Eventually, I come around. (I realize I'm being a little facetious, but I'm not really joking; there's a serious reserve of emotional energy I need to build up to successfully engage with people in the morning.) Maybe your ex is a bit like that too, needing to wind up for the day and social engagement.
That guy sounds fifty shades of cray-cray. Being the last generation to not have it, I'll always prefer face to face interaction and use social media really only to keep in contact with my dear friends and family that DOESN'T live in town. Hell, my phone....is.....brace yourself.....just a phone.
@vjohnson51 Glad to make you laugh. And I hope you got good and far away from that guy.