I would be seriously concerned about the safety issues ...maybe not from this acquaintance - but you never know who he might tell? ...a friend of of a friend of a friend of his??? I would assume your clinic has security measures and there is a reason.

I think I would weigh the consequences before accepting any date. You have probably accurately predicted the outcome. You don't owe anybody an explanation as to why you decline an invitation for a date.

Working in the medical field, by it's nature, does elicit some reactions. I support an office of behavioral healthcare and have learned that many folks become reactive about psychiatry, so now just cite "medical office". It is typically easy enough to avoid details or speak in general terms until I get to know people better, and I have been respected for declining further discussion. It is also OK to be a tiny bit misleading!

Regardless of your credentials, I would guess you have the skills to avoid that detail and/or just say 'gynecology'. Through discussion on a hike you will likely get a notion of his personal values, and if you want to continue to seeing him you can decide more later.

I would agree with you on not bringing the abortion detail forward to be shared with the group!

Are you a nurse, doctor, specialty? Normally I would not volunteer the info unless they probe. Usually when guys ask, they'll probably say "so what do you do for a living"? I would just answer truly, I'm a doctor or a nurse. Anything else really is not of their business at this juncture. Where do you work? At a hospital or a clinic in Main street. I would never volunteer after question #1, I am a nurse or doc trained to do abortions, especially in ALABAMA! It is really none of their business until you decide it is.

Quite sure it isn't any of their business, and you are under no obligation
to tell anyone that's what you do.
Especially if you already know you're dealing with religious people.
Personally, I don't think you should tell anyone, even if you're dating them.
Your personal safety comes first, as does the safety of your patients.
Trust no one. You don't know what anyone will say or do.

If you're asked directly, you can be vague. You "work in the medical field" should be
enough of an answer for anyone. If pressed, tell them you don't discuss your
work, cite HIPPA, if you have to. Most people aren't all that familiar with it, and
you don't have to explain the details.
You do not owe anyone an explanation for anything.

@JackPedigo is correct I think: I would presume most site members have no problem with abortion, so we may not be giving you the optimum answer you're looking for.

But if we're looking more to protect you - emotionally or worse - from someone who would be upset about that, I'd simply find a way to find out how they view abortion in general before offering up that you provide them. It's fairly topical, so fairly easy to bring up, and it keeps you in the power position. I wouldn't give them this information as a way to find out if they're accepting of it.

Since most abortions statistically are not performed on atheists, I have to wonder who is having them. If you're not comfortable giving that info out, I wouldn't. On the other hand, someone in that group may someday need to know a safe place to go or recommend for an abortion.

Abortion is one of the primary ways evangelicals rationalize their support of Trump - and after having the anti-abortion drumbeat happening for decades for the religious right there is no way of dissuading them (until they or a loved one need an abortion - but that excludes the males of our species!)

Probability wise in Alabama they are likely pro forced birth. My hunch is after a few conversations if they are a right wing zealot, that will surface before you need to go into any detail of your own life. If this guy goes into JESUS mode, you'll know right then and there. If they guy finds a pretty spot in the hike and says "Look at the magnificent view - isn't God great to create such a thing?" then the red flags will go up.....

Telling someone that you are a pediatrician will be perfectly acceptable to anyone. Telling them you provide abortion services will cause some of them to think you are the devil incarnate, and those are the ones that cause worry and concern...... Telling a right-wing nutjob that you are both a pediatrician and abortion provider will cause their heads to explode....

I'd be cautious of telling them anything about your abortion work until more info about them is known - if you tell them you are a doctor, the next question will be "What kind of doctor".........

Unless you were planning on being his significant other why does he need to know. Friendships have boundaries that only extend as the relationship grows.

In my opinion, You're a doctor first, what you specialize in is second. In the beginning, all a person needs to know is that you're a doctor. As for when would a person need to know more? In Alabama or any other anti choice state and the person is not anti choice, before you get hot and heavy. If they're anti choice, I would just walk away. In normal states, it probably wouldn't matter.

I'm pro-choice, so that's not a deal breaker for me. I would like to know at some point though. It doesn't have to be immediately when we start dating. I would prefer to know that kind of detail maybe 3-6 months into dating.

For people who you are not dating, it's none of their business. Like a few other people have mentioned, just be general of your job description.

I don't see it as something that needs to come up at all. Or at least for quite sometime, especially if you found that, in time, you really like one another.

Why is it anyone's business what exactly you do? You're a doctor is all they need to know.

And you don't have to date someone who would jeopardize your social life. Plenty of fish, and all that.

In this crowd you need to ask... If you were dating someone who was a Trump supporter, when would you need to know about it?

the only reason i would need to know that a guy i was going with (imagining now, since i am spoken for) performed abortions, a perfectly normal and often necessary medical procedure which, for me and many others, has no moral/ethical attachments, would be if i lived in alabama, for example, and cared about him and his safety, since there are crazy people out there who harm abortionists. so for now, "doctor" (for example) is good enough, if he wants to know what you do for a living. i would be quite surprised if he responded to that with "oh really? do you by any chance perform abortions?" it could happen and i am clueless how you should then respond, but if it matters that much to him, he is probably not the guy for you anyway -- which isn't the goal of all dates, i realize. sometimes it's just nice to go dancing/hiking/to a movie/out for dinner with someone nice, right? but he probably would NOT ask right off the bat, and thus you can find out whether he is someone in whom you want to confide and who would look at your occupation not as a shocking sin but as something that could endanger you in your environment.

g

My late partner had two abortions and did not feel guilty about it. She had strong reasons and I loved the more for it especially when I found out why. I think people on this site are the wrong ones to ask.

Why don't you keep personal info to yourself? " I work in healthcare" is More than sufficient!
Unless you are getting into a relationship, and even then......
This idea you have to spill your guts when it would be very detrimental to you is just "huh?" to me

I met a woman from POF. She was a die hard Trump supporter. I asked her about the treatment of immigrants, lessening environmental regulations, and Trump's own checkered past (to numerous to name). All that bothered her but she said, he will stop abortions so that is why I support him. Nothing else mattered to her. People feel very strongly about it. I would not open my mouth on the subject. He could get nasty in a hurry.

There are a lot of things to get to know about a person before you would even get to that discussion and likely as you get to know him, you could get a clue as to whether or not it would be worthwhile for you to even broach the topic. You may decide on date two or three that the guy just isn't your cup of tea anyway.

I'm not sure I wold readily admit that I did abortions. There is so much un-truth about the procedure and women's health in general that the mere word "abortion" has poisoned so many people.

Let me throw in the line of a Republican anti abortion person that I went to school with. He asks "do you know how many abortions some of these women have had" and he asks it in anger. IDK and neither does he or anyone else.

My ex had one and was a maternity nurse before I met her. So she if not assisted then at least nursed women who had them. She told me early but it did not bother me. A woman's body is her choice.

Would make no difference to me other than being concerned for their safety. I would be proud that another would be so concerned for others that they would do this. I think I have a different take on this than others as my experiences are different than others.

Difficult call, especially in the part of the country you live. Two things occur to me; on one hand you might want to wait until you know a person better, so as to gauge their potential reaction, or two, it is quite possible that it may come out eventually. Then you are exposed with potential friends who might feel you honest with them.

Either way you are in a difficult spot. Pad carefully, some anti-abortionists are dangerous when riled.

I’d assume professions would come up on a first date, if not ‘meeting.’ You are truly special, to the extent I doubt any of that neighborhood could understand or appreciate. Tuff stuff…

Is there any reason for you to tell anyone? Just say you are a nurse or something. Nobody's business what you do.