I don’t want pity. I just need to rant somewhere that my family won’t see it.

I recently quit my job to work on my mental health and to intern for free for 40+ hours a week so I can graduate. Some days I intern from 8am to almost midnight. This is the first time I haven’t had a job since I was 14 & my family has talked down to me and treated me like I am worthless and wrong for it because I can’t support myself. But I have been.. I just recently used up all of the money I had put back for bills. I only spent it on bills and to apply for the masters program at OU. My Nana was the only person in my family that ever supported me and acted like she was truly proud of me. She passed away from an overdose on January 8th. I’ve been waiting on my taxes and her insurance money to come in and then I will have no problems paying my bills and paying anyone who’s helped me back but they act like I have no plan and that I’m lazy because I’m not working on top of interning. There is no way with my schedule that I could work after 5 because I can’t guarantee I will be done interning. Working evenings and weekends would give me little to no time to work on my 15-20 paged paper and the additional homework I have weekly. They tell me they understand and agree with that but then tell me I shouldn’t be in this position. I have busted my ass at jobs that have treated me very poorly to pay out of pocket for college until I got my grant, I have gone without groceries for months at a time to do this, I’ve lost 7 members of my friends and family since I’ve started college, 2 of those people I was extremely close with, I gave up dating after my ex passed because I don’t have the strength or the time. I know it sounds like a pity party but I honestly don’t know how I’ve survived it all with my mental health being so bad and I just don’t understand why, after all of my efforts to earn their respect, they still treat me like I am nothing when most of my family didn’t even attend college. I don’t even want to do this forever. I want to move out of state and be a comedian which is the funniest joke to them because they don’t think I can do it, but I promised myself I would do this first so they would be proud of me and I truly do love the career I chose but I’ve never felt so low in my life and I just want them to treat me like I am somebody for once.