When I proposed to my late partner she told me she wanted to go back to her maiden name. I told her why did she think I would give her my name? I don't just give it to anyone. She said thank you. Yes, there were some issues later (especially since we both stopped wearing our rings). But, it seems in today's world that may have been a good thing. At least for her if she had lived.

I once went to a book workshop and the couple had hyphenated names. His was his name then hers and hers the other way around. It looked funny on the book but it seemed to have worked

As a wedding officiant in Hawaii, where either party can change their middle and/or last name to pretty much anything, their spouse's or any name in the world, I can see the name changes, because our marriage license is also a name change document. Same sex couples can also change their names, if they wish.

In case anyone is interested how many people do change their name, for casual statistic purposes, using only my own weddings:

Just so far in 2020, in the past 6 weeks I've performed 24 legal marriages. In 20 of them, a female changed her name to her spouse's last name. 4 kept their current last name.

Last year in 2019, out of 117 legal marriages I performed, 41 kept their current name, 73 changed their name to their spouse's last name, and 3 couples hyphenated their names.

I didn't count the (mostly) brides who move their current last name to their middle name or create a 2nd middle name, and took their spouse's last name, but there is a small percentage who do that.

It is often the younger couples who take on just one last name to share... And the older couples tend to keep their current names, perhaps to keep their maiden name or the same last name as their children.

Also, the older we are, the more we might have name recognition for our business or other notoriety, and so by changing our name, we lose that and have to start over, so it's a big decision.

It's a LOT of work to change the names on so many documents and accounts the more we have accumulated. It's too bad that usually falls only to the female in hetero marriages.

Some couples choose not to get married legally, and just have a commitment ceremony, where they keep their names (and their financial benefits.)

I doubt I will ever get married again, but if I did, I would consider changing my name to my spouse. As it is, my choices are to re-take the name of my abusive father (maiden name) or keep the name of my abusive ex-husband (father of my children) or take on the name of a happy healthy relationship partner. Of course here in Hawaii, we can change our names to anything we like, so perhaps I'd choose something fantastical, but ugh, all the name change documents...

I've had a few men change their name to their spouses, same sex and hetero, because their current name means nothing to them, for various reasons, father abandoned them, they were foster kids, they never knew their dad, or whatever. One had a bride with a well known name with lots of clout, so they both went with that.

People should definitely have a name they are proud of and wish to be identified with. It shouldn't be just females have that choice, decision, or curse, which ever. (I remember NOT wanting to change my name when I got married in 1982, but being pressured into it.)

There is simplicity in having one name for a family, but it's not always that simple and changing one's name is a hard choice to make.

When I got married, I kept my birth name. Why? Changing to your husband's last name dates back to when women were their husband's property.

We made a mistake with our daughter's name: Claire Miller Valdez. This created confusion in medical offices, schools and colleges.

1. Pediatrician: Claire Miller.

2. High School: Claire Valdez.

3. College: Claire Miller.

In high school, Claire did Running Start. She graduated with a two-year, college Associates degree, along with her high school diploma.

At her high school graduation, Claire was not called to the stage to honor Running Start graduates. Darn it! Another mix-up with her name.

Unsurprisingly, Claire changed her name to her husband's last name.

Please allow me to add these questions:
3. How do women feel about not wanting a piece of paper called Marriage Certificate if just registered partnerships are fully valid for all legal and social reasons?
4. How do women feel about saving money on the wedding ceremony and reception but instead invest in life together?
5. How do women feel about not wanting a "rock" on their finger given by their man on engagement? Is this expense sound and warranted? Do women buy the man anything at least equal or close in value in exchange? Is there equality in wanting and giving?
6. How do men and women feel about giving their children... new and own first name, father's first name as the middle name and mother's first name as the last name? Why just use father's family name for children if you want equality? Men don't go to wars any more and die so that the women and children have to be identified as whose family is it? Why women want this walking stick?
7. If women want equality, will they take equal responsibility along with equal rights?
8. Do women know that men also are abused physically and emotionally by women? Do they have a place in the discussion?

Interesting association