Hopefully your friend will find a way to access professional counselors who who can help her care for herself and her husband. And identify the things she really can do, and the things other staff can do better. Theres a good chance that no matter how jumbled his thoughts are, he still wants uer to be healthy and happy, and seeing that in action, would help him as well as ber.

Dementia is harder on the afflicteds’ loved ones. I’m certain she appreciates you for being there for her.

I am glad you are able to support you friend and I am glad she is able to provide some care for her husband. It is not easy, I am sure, for either of you, but I totally understand her need to care for him.

I am glad u are around and u can provide that service for her .
She needs to do what she feels is right and she wants to love her husband until the end . At whatever cost .
That’s love . I am almost jealous of him . He must have done many things right in her book for her to be actively at his life now that he needs her the most .
I know she is thankful of u tonight .♥️

It's a horrible place to be, and a very, very hard life to live, but doing what you feel is right, is necessary to be able to live with yourself. Being there for the ones you love, no matter how painful, is what truly sets worthy people apart from the apathetic norm. Good luck to her.

Dementia is a horrible experience, especially for those who watch a loved person/personality disappear, leaving merely the body shell.

My mom decided to continue doing daily care for my stepdad.

He now has a long term oral infection (that we just found out about but they've been trying to get her to care for it for...), and his partials haven't been removed in so long that they're growing into his gumlines.

He's to old and weak for surgery (he needs to have all his upper teeth removed and reconstructive surgery to have a chance) and is so advanced in Alzheimer's he doesn't even know what anyone is doing.

How do I tell her that her thinking no one could provide better care for him than she could is what killed him?

So sad