I believe everyone's story has variances, and we only have part of his, so we don't really know all the details of his situation. I can only take a guess. Perhaps he and the mother's interactions were fraught with arguments. Perhaps his past leaves him incapable of really bonding to that point of commitment with a child. Perhaps self-loathing inhibits really fighting for the right to be in her life.

There are many human flaws, and religion presents itself as the perfect place to submerge them. A group of people have joyously welcomed him, and have told him that he's no longer responsible for any of the dilemmas in his life - everything is okay. All he has to do is turn all these problems over to Christ, and he's forgiven. No worries. Not only that, but now he's on the right side of life, and instead of feeling self-loathing, he feels superior. It's a heady situation for some people to resist, and he seems to have embraced it.

If the mother cheated on him, it may not even be his daughter.....

He may have an underlying psychological disorder. Whether genetic on origin or the result of experiences, it would make sense that he has experienced something in his past from being in the foster system. This doesn’t excuse his actions but may help explain why he is less than remorseful about removing himself from his daughters life.

Sadly, these are the guys who get all the attention. What's wrong with guys who don't have tons of baggage?

Honestly there are way more people, particularily religious, that had kids because their faith prohibited them from having abortions, and then they end up resenting or neglecting the kid and parenthood. So this does not surprise me in the least.

Nah hes telling me the truth. My point is....the way people can so easily rationalize away their responsibilities to their own children....ignore their true purpose and let themselves believe in some false purpose and ignore their responsibilities. Makes me sick. And no im not worried about it. I don't care. But I observe. I meet people and I observe them. And this way I learn their true character. Actions are more truthful than words.

It would be hard to know what to believe about anything this guy told you, or appears to be currently doing or saying. It’s not worth the effort to worry about him or his daughter, do you even know if the story about wife & daughter are true? Or if he was an orphan? You only have his word that anything was fact. If he has a daughter and he is such an uncaring father, not to mention a complete asshole, then it may be the case that the child is better off without him in her life, and In your case the same is definitely true.

I have no respect fir men who don't take responsibility for their children. Having said that I know of one man who backed away from an access dispute because of the way his ex was trying to corrupt his children's minds against him and he didn't want them hurt more. The bloke you describe is just a hypocritical wanker.

I am not sure why it matters so much to have an explanation. He's an asshat. Believe him when he shows you that. Move on.

That said, for various reasons, many men have no interest in their children. Some are simply irresponsible. Some try but ultimately flee the gaslighting and machinations of their ex, deciding (often correctly) that the ex is on a mission to demonize them to their own children anyway. I know a guy who abandoned his wife and child because he had what today we'd hopefully diagnose as post-combat PTSD (Korean veteran). He simply couldn't cope and didn't know what to do but to flee thousands of miles away, eventually dying alone. Yes, the mother was clingy / needy and that didn't help but that doesn't make his way of "dealing" with his issues excusable. The daughter idolized him, and was very damaged by the experience; she was only 11. On some level the man knew this and was filled with self loathing about it, but he still was too much of a coward to even contact his daughter, even after the passage of time.

Women, particularly maternal women (which is most of them) have trouble understanding this.

Men, by nature and by socialization, tend to see themselves as providers and protectors, not nurturers. That does not mean they are excused for being oblivious to their children. But it explains how they can collapse around a sense of failure in fulfilling the role that gives their life value.

In fairness to this particular guy you're talking about, it may (or may not) be that he could be a pretty good father if he were in a functional relationship with a functional woman. I've known men like that, who are capable of way more than they actually perform but are too weak on their own. With the right prodding they rise to the occasion; without it they devolve for whatever reason. Particularly post-divorce, they fear the complex emotional undertows and cross currents of dealing with an ex and their children, so they cut and run.

As a man who had sole physical custody of his children and raised them for a time as a single father, I can tell you that it doesn't have to be like that, but boys are often socialized to be emotionally stunted and completely dependent on women for their cues and psychologically they seem to need the basic responsibility for nurture not to be on directly on them. Or at least that's how it often shook out in my generation. Maybe things are getting better, I don't know.

Because god called him??

He told you a story...

Scammer