Sure will when it reopens. Thank you

Oh well, live and learn. Seems it’s ok for men to massage women or other men, in my workplace. Won’t do it again

It’s not not wanting to be touched that was the issue

1. Perhaps you could come in and do some awareness training? That’s certainly not the status quo where I work. I don’t mind getting a massage when stressed, and don’t see a shoulder rub from a friend as that intimate- I give them to my mum!
   But I suppose it depends on the other person’s perception, which is an issue.

2. As already mentioned, I have observed other people around the office doing the same thing and thought it was friendly. I stopped after a few seconds.

Lesson learnt for me, but it seems in the offices which some of you work in, where there is 0 tolerance for touch, things are a lot simpler. I’ll keep to that rule from now on. Thank you for you honest response.

@girlwithsmiles I don’t work in an office . I work at very busy ER . Some 16 hrs shifts , some 12, some 24 hr w a break to sleep 4 hr ( trauma level 1). Our typical night includes gun shots , drunks , several ODs , and trauma on drug deals went wrong . Plus the usual copd and grandma Moses that can’t poop for 2 days .
The majority of my flying partners are men . I know them for a decade plus . I know their wives , I have been in their houses , they know my dogs . The majority I love and depend on them and they depend on me . The closest I came physical is to wipe tears of their faces , or them block w their body an entrance for me so I won’t storm in a room and slap a bitch .

There is certainly an element of sensuality usually connected to massages.

@Unity I remember this massage as an electric shock treatment. I still remember yelling at him to get away from me.

Even friendships?

@girlwithsmiles
They can if you're too close.. best is to stay friendly and casual..

@girlwithsmiles Often in this type of situation one person is already feeling more chemistry than just a friendship.

@Unity and when / if you break up it really can get messy.

@Buddha That is true

Thank you.

Mmm yes, thanks. Have seen other people massaging colleagues, but I agree; I’ll not be doing it again.

Once upon a time there was no "hidden message". Someone's shoulders ached and you gave them a 30 second massage. End of story.
Why has society changed?

@Petter the fact they are, or at least one of them, is crossing emotional boundaries is a Huge red flag. And I have had at least 30 workplaces in my life, in NONE of them was casual touching appropriate. None!

@AnneWimsey Unless requested.

@Petter nope, , not appropriate to request, either.

@AnneWimsey It was in my organisation. We quite often scratched a back or massaged a shoulder. Some even gave haircuts during lunch.
Maybe your experience of work is among the wrong sort of people.

@Petter 30+ jobs. Ranging from shipyard worker (later supervisor) batertender, waitress, seamstress, catering business owner, florist, go-go dancer, aaaaannd etc.....nowhere was touching or asking to be touched appropriate, even back in the 70's -80's. I Walked if touching was asked for.....immediately!

@AnneWimsey In Spain I owned a publishing business. It became like family to everyone who worked for me.
Before that I ran the sales and technical departments of a massive multinational company. I was in charge of seven countries in East and Central Africa. Again, no hangups. Before that I worked as a bio-chemist in Kenya. No hangups there either. Perhaps the so called "developed" world needs to take lessons from "backward" countries.

@Petter you have no way of knowing who was molested/raped as a child, and therefore "casual touching" might be horrible for them! Keep your paws OFF. Backward is ASSuming your touch would be welcome!

@AnneWimsey Re-read one of my first comments. Unless requested
Do you, perhaps, have a problem of some sort?

@Petter see my replies above. How hard is it to understand that keeping your hands off others who have
NO CHOICE but to smile & nod even though cringing inside is a Bad Idea??

@AnneWimsey So, according to your view of the world, if someone requests you to massage their shoulders, you should refuse.
How sad! I'm glad I do not live in such a neurotic, warped by political correctness, society.

@Petter well, actually HR and/ or the leadership of the company should be making it clear from Day 1 that such things are not to be tolerated.

@AnneWimsey I was the leadership. I also refuse to use idiotic Americanisms like HR (Human Resources) when there was already a perfectly good word in use - personnel.
I made it clear that unasked for physical contact was off limits during working hours.

@Petter not good enough...Who is doing the asking, and why? Who is able, without peer pressure (making fun of them, for example) to refuse it? Or do they have to grin and bear it?
And "Human Resources"? You have a problem with personnel dedicated to helping, among other things, workplace problems, insurance questions, personel conflicts, retirement planning, obtaining special services like marriage counseling or other things? WTH kind of company did you run, exatly?

@AnneWimsey The person whose shoulders ache asks to have them massaged.
Why change "Personnel Department" to "Human Resources"? It's like changing the mail clerk's title to "communications executive".
When I was filling in official forms I would describe myself as a lift technician. The fact that at the time I was the entire zone's top technician, covering 7 countries, was irrelevant. I was a lift technician.
When I later took over the management of my own country, I hated the weasel word "spread". It was mark up.

@Petter ohferpetessake, you are a master deflector who thinks touching is just fine. Please go away.