I lost a friendship earlier this year.

I lost my faith at end of last year. I shared this via text messages to just a few former believers. I sought out a friend in order to have a face to face conversation with somebody about losing my faith and my worries about telling my husband and my parents. My friend and I met up for lunch and he let me talk. He listened graciously despite not being able to relate since he wasn't raised religiously.

That afternoon I texted him a thank you for listening and he replied, "Of course." That was the last I ever heard from him.

He didn't reply to any of the four messages I sent over the following month. I tried to tell myself he must be busy, but then he removed me as a follower of his blog. That's when I was sure he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I texted a mere "Goodbye" so as to say "Message received. I'll respect your wishes."

A couple of weeks ago, my toddler inadvertently managed to call him (of all people) despite the baby screen lock and I realized that I was blocked and not just ignored which brought back the sadness I felt when I realized he no longer wanted me in his life.

In addition to missing his friendship, I keep wondering why he decided he longer wants to be friends and why he didn't say anything. Why ignore me? Why not actually say that he doesn't think we should be friends anymore?

My best guess for why he no longer wants to talk to me is that he thinks I'm mentally unstable considering what a basketcase I was when we last met up.

I'm hoping to make some new friends soon after the current crisis is over to help me stop missing him. I needed more friends before losing his friendship anyway. Most of my existing friends live too far away.

If anyone reading this has lost a friendship, feel free to share if and how you got over it or lessened the pain.