Happy Resurrection Day everyone!! Not to mention the awesomeness of April Fool's Day simultaneously occurring in tandem!

I'm terrible but every Christmas and Easter my family likes to call me and the WHOOLE family gathers around to chat with me.

This day my Half Christian and Half Buddhist clan decided to ring-a-ding-ding me. Thirty aunts, uncles, cousins, eldest daughter, my baby sister (by the way, a few cousins, my daughter and my sister are Atheists or agnostic, thankfully) my mother, and countless family friends, nieces, nephews... You get the picture.

In the middle of the conversation and when I Knew I had Everyone's Attention I said, "guys...I have an announcement to make...". Everyone got quite, "yes...? What is it Eka-san?". (and yes, my family does call me Eka-san as humiliating as it might sound, my grandfather nicknamed me Eka and Only Ever called me Eka my entire life).
I proceed to lock down on the No Giggles... Then I said, "last week a stranger began witnessing to me... And I broke down crying. I Could Feel the arms of the Lord enveloping me once again so when the gentleman invited me to his church for a Wednesday night service, I agreed. I went last Weds and everyone in the congregation laid hands on me and spoke in tongues... And I was drawn to the front, to the pulpit... And there...I rededicated my life to Christ Our Savior!"

Immediately I hear family members clapping and excited but before anyone could say anything, my sarcastic daughter Akira groans and says, "oh great! I think we just lost my mother to the delirium of God!! Mom! Whhhhy?!! You're too smart for this" and I begin to hear the soft growl coming off my religious kin and Directed at my daughter so I knew then I had to crack before things got Uuugly!

I then stopped and paused a moment, then I said, "well fuck this might be cruel now but... APRIL FOOLS DAY!!! Akira, baby... You Know Your Momma is a heathen!! Forever Heathens Unite!!!"

I hear my daughter, sister and some cousins and nieces nephews crack up laughing, but then my elder religious aunties and uncles just sounded confused... "Wait... Did eka find god again...? What do you mean? It was a joke?? APRIL FOOL'S?? SHE LIED??!"

Aunties began crying!! Uncles left the room And the conversation! I Truly Just utterly Fucked Up my families Easter Sunday in an attempt to mesh April Fool's Day and Easter.

Tsk tsk tsk... Try to be funny, but the Good folk just Can't take a joke. For a second there, I did feel mildly bad... But... It was Only a second wasted. Haaahaaha

They will get over it. ... Oh, and at the Very Least, they can Pray over it and send their god saving wishes my way!

Perhaps I should have picked a Better joke angle, but the family Buddhists found it funny too. At least more than Half my audience was humoured by it.

Ah well! Anyone else out there wreaking havoc on their religious families Easter/April Fool's Day super special holiday combo??!

Or... Am I merely the ONLY ASSHOLE out here?? Haaahaaha