Man, I'm so sorry. I had to brake into my younger brother's house last Dec. to find his dead body. That is something I would never wish on my worst enemy.

Everyone grieves differently. I found myself thinking about him at odd times and would have to leave where ever I was, if I was not home already. I still find myself thinking about him and wondering why. He was only 54, two years my younger. He had health issues in the past, but nothing that would explain this.

I don't know what kind of relationship you had with him, but if you were at all close, the grieving will eventually come. When it does, time is the only thing that will help. That, you can rest assured. I'm getting emotional just writing this, but I know it will get easier as time goes on.

Keep good friends close when you need a shoulder. And stay busy, that helps me a lot as well.

Take care.

My condolences. The only idea that I could offer is something you have already started to do, reach out to others and talk. While current times pull us physically away, we can still talk, show that we care, we can show that we all have the same feelings, and comfort each other.

sending a hug your way. When the lives of those we love are taken from us due to a situation like the pandemic we are in a state of shock that it happened to one of our loved ones. It will be 2 years in June that I lost my darling husband. I believe you’re in a state of shock and that may be why you feel numb and cannot cry right now. Be gentle with yourself and have no expectations about what you think you should be feeling. You will grieve in your own special way in the right time.

I’m sorry to hear of your loss. I think a period of numbness is normal and ok, especially in stressful times. Nature will take its course and you’ll get through.

Leutrelle,
Firstly please; allow yourself to grieve; allow yourself to be unhappy; allow yourself to admit that your grief feelings really do interfere with your ability to engage well in other aspects of your life (not functioning well.) Over a period of time add "Must Do" tasks to your list of life engagement tasks and do them. Note that I had not said 'should do' which implies a degree of failure on your part. It's not a failure to be 'bogged down' while grieving; in fact it's a success because it represents the measure of the spiritual closeness between you.
Take it easy on yourself. My personal experience is that when I have grieved; I have grieved 'Long and Hard,' and I've been glad to note how much I miss the other person.
Good wishes good luck

Seek out a counselor, therapist, or a support group.

So sorry. I lost my spouse in September. For me it comes in waves. Waves of unbearable pain. Then the chemistry in my brain resets. I am ok for awhile. Then the wave returns. The tears will become less over time., as your brain processes the void, the absence and heals. Make a gesture in homage to your loved one. A donation, volunteer somewhere, in his name. Just roll with it & let the pain work its way thru your life. It is a fire you must walk thru. There is a place on the other side. The tears will be less tho the pain the same. A counselor if you find it necessary. There are online sites that can help. I used them to reevaluate my view of death. There is help. Even in Idaho. Heal soon.

First, my condolences. All I have is, mourn however you feel the need to do so. Don't allow anyone to ever tell you things like "move on" etc. Mourning is a private issue and one that only you will continue to do at your own pace. There is no time limit. Best wishes

when my brother died from cancer i was very sad. but i chose to remember us as we grew up together and resolve that his children and grandchilden he never will know do know of him and what our life was like as children. nothing takes away loss. but you can choose the way you accept it. i have great memories of him

So very sorry for your loss. I can't advise you on how to grieve, except to let it come to you. Sixty some years is a long time to have someone in your life. He will always be part of you through your memories and his influences that helped shape who you are.

So sorry for your loss.

So much good advice here. It really is such an individual process. For me it didn't even become 'real' for weeks and weeks, your mind will only give what your heart can handle. Waffling between intense grief and numbness became a way of life. I felt guilt during the numb periods but it was a needed reprieve. When the grief would build and feel stuck (couldn't cry etc) I watched movies about death-especially related to losing a child, to connect with my own feelings, and that could push me over the edge. Finally, be so so patient with yourself. I've found our collective concepts of grieving are pretty inaccurate- its not linear, you don't 'get over it'. It ebbs and flows, it can change you and how you see the world. It can knock you down in a moment (or day) you least expect. Its something you learn to manage, to live with. Please feel free to reach out to me, or here. It can be easier to talk with someone who's been there.

so sorry for your loss. some wounds only heal over time and only by scabbing over the pain. namaste

I looked it up, and there is some science behind what I experience, when I cry.
I simply feel better, when I cry.
I think it's mainly because the body produces endorphins when you cry, and endorphins make you feel better.
Eating spicy hot foods, also makes your body produce endorphins.

So, if you think of something, about your brother, and it makes you cry, to think he's gone, then the crying should simply help you feel better.

Condolences. That has to be particularly hard with the isolation that's going on right now.

Remember there are stages to grief. We generally do hit all of these and not in any given order. It's normal.
The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them. (https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/ )

I am so sorry... Grief can be very different both between different people and even between losses for the same person. It is such a tough situation; hold the memories in your heart.

Hugs from all of us here.

So sorry for your loss.

How terrible. No words, other than I'm so very sorry.

I am so sorry. This situation is so surreal, and nobody has had any adjustment time nor any frame of reference for how to feel or act now. It may take you a while to process your loss and grief may come in stages. Wishing you comfort and peace.

It appears you lived a good ways from your brother. Did you see each other often? Many things effect the greiving process - the relationship you had with the person, how often you saw one another, cultural aspects, etc. I see that you lived a ways away from your brother, you are in Idaho and he apparently lived in Everett, WA. Did you see each other often or speak to one another often? My experiences with my parents passing happened about 18 years apart. When my mother passed at 57 from breast cancer, my family lived nearby and the grief began almost immediately. Since we knew my mother was ill, I had made of point of visiting her regularly. By the time my father died, my family had moved out of state and I had much less contact with him. We knew he was also ill with pancreatic cancer, but distance prevented any kind of regular visits. The relationship with my father was also quite different than with my mother. When the news came that my father had died, it felt very distant - more like hanging up the phone from a long distant call. It didn't feel as real. Only when I attended his funeral and stayed at his home did it begin to feel he was truly gone and not just away on a trip. It took being in familiar places that he had been to feel his abscence and to begin to feel the loss from his death.

I send you my condolences for the loss of your brother. Circumstances, whatever they may be, are likely responsible for you recognizing your grieving process. Please be considerate with yourself since the stages of grief do not follow a prescribed order. My guess is that you are grieving and not realizing that you are. Denial and anger are stages of the process but may not feel as if they are.

Sorry for your loss.

My condolences

Unfortunately I believe all of us will be touched by loss during this sad time. I have no good advice except friends, family, and counseling support.
I wish you well on your journey. Continue to reach out and ask for support. Perhaps start with your doctor to help guide you with ideas.
Best wishes

I can not add anything more than what some of the best comments have already said just know the best I can do is send virtual hugs and my deepest condolences. The tears will come, trust me.

Grief can take many forms. It's ok if your process follows it's own time frame. Being numb is certainly part of it. Please try to keep communication open with loved ones. You'll eventually need their support when you start to get your "feels".
Hang in there. After all...you've got us jokers here for diversion. Hugs.