The two biggest challenges that I have encountered in dating are women who smoke and women are too religious.
My biggest challenge in dating is.....myself.
I'm not social and get embarrassed very easily so I don't push myself to talk to women I'm interested in that often; even online I don't talk much because I never know what to say. And the times I do put myself out there and take a chance, I get shot down, ignored, or lied to. Definitely lowers my already low self-esteem.
If we're talking about being able to find someone to date, then the things below are either deal breakers or qualities I do not prefer:
Sheesh, Joey, that sounds like a pretty discouraging list and comment. Good luck with that..
you are living in a dream
@TomMcGiverin but he knows himself and what he wants he is rather definite sometimes a hidden treasure is in the fringes fat girls can be fun and you'll never go hungry lol
but I know how he feels I think we all have a list of deal breakers even if we haven't thought about it they are there
Congratulations on being clear about what you don't want.
Sadly for me , everything is listed on this poll is deal breaker .
“ I will die alone . And merry Xmas “!
And that’s ok !
@pralina1 no alcohol? Oh that eliminates a lot of people. Except some Christian's. Oh my.
I doubt that
@Bigwavedave etoh is ok , I drink wine w dinner some x , but anything else is not for me .
I am married over 35 years so this does not apply to me, but if it did ,To me too religious, drink ,and cigarettes are about the same.( Not acceptable.)Non religious believer that excepts a nonbeliever is ok and drinking on rare occasions is also ok.My wife is ten years younger with no issues to speak of so this is a non issue .Political ideology is not important unless they did not except mine or were fanatical in theirs .
Too religious,too much alcohol, cigarettes ,excessive pot smokers and woman with TDS are a turn off for me .
You didn't include TDS. That would be at the top of my list.
Definitely agree with you on that .These fanatics are worse than the religious believers they abhor
They are so annoying, ugh
Trumpers tell me that I have TDS and that is how they explain my feelings about Trump. I see this as exactly the other way around. TDS is when you are a Trump lover. I've never wanted a hat, flag, or T-shirt with a political name on it. That is a derangement syndrome.
@WW11grandpa You won't see them from me. I didn't trade my country for a red hat.
Conditions... Conditions! No two people are even similar. We start differently in life, come from different places, are raised differently, believe in different things, our life experiences are different... how can anything be similar? Wrong expectations will lead to relationship failures.
A good heart is way more important than everything else. A relationship is often much simpler than what we make of it. If you have two good minds with kindness, acceptance, tolerance, empathy and a good worldview of things, all will fall in place and the world will look beautiful.
Religion, politics, food, hobbies have nothing to with a good relationship. Two different people be very happy together if you know how to pick the best in each other.
Want more, expect more and get problems more. Start simple, have an open mind and you will get it right.
I'm on a "dating site" that has hundreds of questions one can answer or not for matching purposes. One of the questions asks if creationism should be taught in schools. One of the possible answers is, "Yes, students should hear both sides." I can't tell you how many women put this for their answer, but too many! And their education levels are the whole range, including graduate degrees. Creationism, intelligent design, whatever, is not, NOT science! It is religion dressed up to try to look like science, but it lacks all the necessary requirements to be a science, like empirical evidence. As soon as I see a woman answer it this way, I don't go any further. I tried to answer, "Too religious, cigarettes, and Trump supporter." But it only lets me pick one.
I voted for "too religious" but I'd say there's other factors that can ruin a relationship.
1st I'd never date a religious man, I like to make it clear right away that I'm an agnostic.
2nd: men that take their parents opinion for everything
3rd: bad sex
4th: men that speak bad about their ex or don't have a relationship with their kids
5th: men that don't like animals
6th: men that have an explosive behavior
That's the ones I could think of the top of my head I probably can find more. Lol!
Wow I started reading the others answer's and now I think that I went to deep on my frustrations with the men's world! Lol
None of the above.
I'm done with dating, and romantic relationships.
I like the really short list of no-gos that I saw from a woman on a reality show called Blind Date. She said, " I just want to meet someone that I don't feel like killing at the end of the day". Words to live by......
My biggest challenge in dating women was a little different than yours, mostly that I like men too much.
But to be sure, otherwise I can relate. My absolute disqualifiers: smokers, committed Republicans, religiously devout anything.
After that, it is more about what intrigues me than what offends. Having said that, a totally selfish person without empathy totally kills it for me, I don't care how beautiful they are physically.
Oh, and somebody totally indifferent to animals is a red flag for me.
Not interested in fat, lazy, out of shape guys. Hate long white beards and hair: it looks like shit. Too lazy to shave.
"I love hiking!" men proclaim on the phone. Turns out they last hiked in their 20s or in the Army at age 18. If a man has not exercised nor had a healthy diet for 40 years, he's not going to start now. Liar, liar pants on fire.
Other dealbreakers: smoking, drugs including marijuana, Trump supporter, and religious zealots who try to convert me.
A hard NO to man-children who never learned to cook, who expect me to do all of the meal planning, cooking and house cleaning. What is this, the 1950s?
Good for you. I am a little surprised at no marijuana. I've always thought if some's use was mild to moderate, like mild to moderate drinking, it would be OK. I would weigh it in the context of the overall combination of attributes. For many, yes, it is a red flag, but not all.
Being around stoners is boring.
Stoners lie around eating anything not nailed down, saying, "Wow, look at Kathleen go!"
@LiterateHiker Yes, you would not do well with a drug-induced sloth.
The problem with men that are too religious from my experience is that they are always trying to throw in some reason on why I should believe. And some treat me with less respect because they feel that none believers are somehow less than them or bad. One told me he can’t ever take our relationship serious because I’m a non believer. While he’s the one being the cheater and liar.
I can do without overweight women with a ton of baggage and drama. Don't care too much their political or religious views so long as they respect mine and we can either rationally discuss or not talk about it. Age not an issue so long as they take care of themselves and have some depth of character. No thanks on drug (nicotine, alcohol, marijuana) addicts.
Since your poll will only let me choose one, I guess I will list the deal breakers you have chosen that would be deal breakers for me, too. I wouldn't date anyone who is too religious, smokes cigarettes, or is a Trump supporter. The other things don't matter to me.
I would have to go with more than one: Trump supporter (even if an atheist); religious; cigarettes. I wouldn't discount someone who drinks or uses marijuana; but wouldn't be interested in someone who did either in excess.
How much is in excess?
@ronnie40356 More than one drink, or one joint, per year (LOL). If someone uses either to the point where it interferes with life and relationships or is detrimental to their health. I don't like how MJ affects me, so I don't use it. And, I rarely drink alcohol. I don't like beer but will have a little wine now and again: with dinner, for example. But, I never drink alone--ever.
No: Republicans, Libertarians, Tea Baggers, and dog forbid: sovereign citizens. No evangelicals, no ‘god-fearing’, etc. The farthest I’ll try is a generic ‘spiritual’.
No heavy drinking, smoking, or heavy drug use. A bit of 420, ok, but getting up to get baked and STAYING baked all damn day, every day: nope.
Recent photos showing the face and eyes(not hats/sunglasses) are a must. Be truthful about height and weight. If we meet, I’m going to notice if those claims were false...and I’ll wonder what ELSE he/she is lying about.
Last but not least: I attract narcissists and similar toxic people, so I start out slow to watch for red flags. The more malignant they are, the shorter the time they can hide the sides. Learned that the hard way; please benefit from my pain!
not much left lol
For me it is the religious people and the people I specified I am not attracted to. I even put both things in my profile, but like 90% of young men do not read womens' profiles online. Or they do not read mine!
I would also need a man that is HONEST. And is able to engage in open and honest communication. Rather than the lying and the head games and the omission of truths about themselves. Because the truth does come out and then any trust that was building is ruined and the relationship is doomed.