The trainer is just a rude person. Someone once told my oldest daughter that she" would look better if she had a boob job." he meant making them bigger but she had plenty of breasts anyway. Just sexist and rude.

Just remember, cuddly can be very sexy.

I’m afraid I would just laugh and tell him to f away off!

there is a name for what he did and i forget what it is. maybe someone can say it here. it's when a guy gives you a "compliment" (you're pretty) and a verbal slap ("you need to lose weight" ) at once. it's a kind of left-handed compliment but the term i am looking for is different. it's a kind of control thing. it's nasty. avoid this guy, and i don't mean just romantically. i mean altogether.

g

I find unsolicited advice of any type to be very annoying. All of it is intrusive and much of it is wrong.

Hokey smokes! You noticed the spare tire around taking over my mid-riff? Amazing how astute you are. Did you notice the sky is blue as well? You are so freaking amazing displaying wit and wisdom like that! Do you think you can handle manners and discretion? I know you can't.

Toad sucking Yankees are more likely to say "No shit, Sherlock?"

I would do what you want and what you feel is Best he didn't have any right out right giving his opinion, being a fitness snob that does go with the Territory. You definitely don't need people like that in your life in any way. Focus on making you happy. And don't let. These type of people bring you down. Many people forget Beauty is only skin deep

He is a fitness trainer, so I believe he was trying to get you as a client. Sales tactics.

Hi-5 girlfriend. Same way with me. One day soon, we rubenesque beauties will again rule the world. Until then, f*** any man's opinion of our weight and we must learn to embrace our own beauty.

I would tell him to F off!! I grew up with someone like your grandmother, but it was my mother. I ended up with poor body image and low self-esteem. I struggled with my weight and body shape even though I had never been overweight. I feared going out sometimes because I was afraid other people would think the same my mom did and would laugh at me. I developed social anxiety and I would get panic attacks. If someone actually complimented me, I didn't believe it and thought they were just making fun of me or just teasing me because it couldn't be true. I still struggle with this today. Some days I'm scared to go out. I rarely leave my place so self-isolation is just fine with me. I know how you feel. I can deal with this much better now but some days I just regress into that scared girl from the past.

You know what I hate the most; it's when men tell me it's great I have long hair because long hair looks so much better on women (ie. more feminine). UGH!!!! I so want to punch them. LOL. I did not ask their opinion about my hair (which I've had long to my bum and pixie short, as I feel like). Or, when men say I wear too much make up because men don't like much make up on women (prefer the "natural look" ). I laugh. Why do they think women wear make up for men? I can go full drag queen glam if I feel like it, dude.

I'm 5'1" and weigh143 pounds, like you I've had to fight my appetite my whole life. I have never weighed the recommended a 110 pounds for my height since I was in the 6th grade. Some of my thinner friends probably think I'm fat too but I feel good in my clothes and I feel good physically.

I do not think that 5' 7" and the 165 pounds is overweight at all. In fact it sounds like you are probably very attractive. I have a friend who is an avid cyclist and your height who weighs 190 pounds. Every man who sees her salivates when she walks in the room.

Enjoy your life, try to eat as healthy as you can because we are definitely what we eat but ignore the rude slobs.

I do not value another person's opinion unless I have developed some respect for them, and sometimes even then I don't. It is far more important what we think of ourselves, versus what others think of us.

I'd come down on him, hard.

Absolutely no one should be commenting on a stranger’s body. People suck.

@VeronikaAnnJ I find compliments are wonderful and morale boosting..... Unsolicited advice on appearance... Not so much.

Clearly that "fitness snob" guy needs to work on his etiquette and manners. ..... How do you feel about compliments?

Don’t communicate with anyone who has serious body issues. It’s his problem not yours. You’re beautiful no matter your size!

Bias, insecure, narcissist, wreckless. These are just a few human traits some people display more than kindness. Inner beauty is what really matters.

"Ah, VANITY! My favorite sin!" In the long run isn't it your brain that truly matters? You should've told him that you love getting comments from men who are 3" strong and opinionated.

Just RUDE!

I would never give unsolicited advice about someone’s body or weight, especially to a woman. That said, the guy is a personal trainer, so that subject seems to be his thing. It looks like no offense was intended. While this is not an excuse by itself to not take offense, it should be considered.

I don’t know. Perhaps I’m being too forgiving yet again..

This reflects that the people who made those comments value appearance above anything else and have bad manners. It's quite sad they are so superficial, but that at least gives you an idea about the type of person you have to deal with. Whatever anyone says about your appearance has nothing to do with the type of person you are. All you can do is live your life and try to ignore unsolicited comments. I know, easier said than done.

His doing so was in poor taste, likely his EQ is fairly low.

I would not comment to someone about their weight unless asked. I work out a fair amount and am somewhat of a nutrition geek, so people often ask me for dietary advice. I always put it in health terms, not weight or appearance. For example, a poor diet with lots of refined carbs especially sugar, industrial oils, too much alcohol, etc. drives inflammation, which makes one susceptible to heart attack, stroke, arthritis, etc.. It also adds unwanted pounds.

EDIT: I'd also avoid any gym with a form versus function approach. The large chain gyms are guilty of this; look at all of the mirrors. In a CrossFit box, mirrors are conspicuous by there absence.

Please don't allow lesser people than you to tell you anything about your body or your capabilities. And the appropriate response is the one that is most comfortable for you. Curse him out, debate him, or try to educate him. These are all viable options but only you know what fits your style. I have nothing to offer for when family does this to you. Patronizing is after all rooted in family.

What a dick! The stunning part is he apparently thought...A) he was complimenting you, and B) You "needed" him to advise you, seeing as you lack his "insight."
Of course you owed him no response whatsoever, but any spur of the moment comeback you might have come up with is likely to feel like you'd want a second shot with time for hindsight. My attempt:" "you know, you'd be more attractive if you weren't an insensitive dick who feels entitled to comment on women's weight. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you LOOKING for sexual harassment charges?" ...something like that.

I am curious if you knew this guy or he was some joe on the street. If it was a work setting, he literally has violated basic sexual harassment standards. I just read that news analysis anchor Chris Mathis of msnbc Hardball was fired for a string of sexually insensitive comments, mostly commenting on women's appearance, and mostly crude attempts at compliments....like telling them he was attracted to them. Face, meet palm.

A gentleman learns never to make any reference to a lady's weight however obliquely. It is merely the elephant in the room.
Flippancy aside, of course, unsolicited advice of this nature can be offensive but it is not a cut and dried area. How about friends or partners? Would you not tell a co-worker if they had a BO problem?
My ex-wife was/is severely overweight, to the extent that her doctor described her as "double-plus obese". In the 13 years, we were together I only broached the subject 3 times and that was for health reasons. Each time resulted in tears so I would leave her alone. She ended up agoraphobic and I heard that now she has had 1/2 a leg amputated. Should I have as a loving husband encouraged her to look more closely at her lifestyle?
Personally I do not take a great offense if someone criticizes my appearance. I smoke a pipe and that can cause non-smokers to keep their distance. Advice on neck, nose, and beard hair is actually quite welcome. Although I draw the line at shaving my chest. Even though it resembles a squirrel attempting to escape from my shirt