We all make ripples in the pond
here your daughter is gone
a person I never heard of
but just now her ripple washed over me
because you still feel those ripples
and we feel yours

My condolences

I am so sorry to hear that. I belive losing your child is the hardest thing that human ever face. My heart goes to you.

This is just my thinking, but we are all part of nature. We simply go back to where we come from. Her energy is all around us and bring us another beautiful day.

I am sure she is all around you!

I'm very sorry for your loss. She must have been in a lot of pain to take that step. Maybe just knowing that she isn't struggling could be a comfort.

My sincerest condolences. I lost my 27 year old son to medical malpractice back in 2005. A dear friend passed this organization along. I 'm passing it to you and hope it brings you understanding. (((HUGS)))
[griefbeyondbelief.org]

I feel your pain. My son drowned and was revived at the scene. Transported to hospital, then to another where my baby died for a whole fucking week. He only lived 19 years. I now reign in hell. Yes, hell is real.

My deepest condolences for your loss. I also have lost loved ones very close and understand your envy for those more easily consoled by their flimsy solace. Ignorance sometimes really is bliss.
I know such a loss makes rationale completely obsolete, however, we are all a part of the reservoir of carbon on this rock, and she, as inevitably all of us, will become part of this earth again which will give rise to new life, just as it gave rise to ours.
This undeniable connection we all have regardless of location, color, creed, etc is comforting to me and I hope that with time, you feel the same solace.

I lost my oldest son He,like your daughter,took his own way out.anybody that goes the"hes with his maker" simply want to have something to hold on to and not face the real deal.WE are not supposed to bury our children.my heart goes out to you and anyone else that has lost a child.may you find peace

Your daughter was not just reduced to a box of ash, she will be remembered and has become a treasured memory for you and all those who ever knew her, interacted with her or benefited from her existence even if they never knew her personally.
A life causes ripples in time and space, in the experiences of others and no matter how long or tragically brief those ripples continue and have an effect for a long time and in so many unexpected ways for long after the impact has ceased.
A god, an afterlife, the survival of death is irrelevant to all of this, and so atheism robs us of nothing, in reality rationality gives us a practical reason to celebrate any life and its effect of reality.

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the depth of your pain with the loss of your child. My husband passed 4 years ago so I can at least somewhat try to understand. They are there one minute - and then they are just not. It is a hard road. I am a stranger to you but I can at least send you this message of condolence.

There is no map through grief, no clearly marked path through the fog of it. There is no timeline, no right or wrong way to act, no words that can comfort, no expressions or rationalizations that can make any of it make sense. It is just the rawness and pain of loss.

Cry, shout, be angry at the universe for such a perverse loss - and then pause and breathe - and find ways to laugh too. Laugh and share fond and funny memories and silliness and all the perfect pieces of knowing her. Those are best of what remains.

I know my words are of little comfort, but I truly wish you peace.
#beliefs #mother #grief

My brother was mentally ill and at risk in a lot of ways. I was afraid he'd end up living under a bridge or incarcerated, especially as our parents aged. But, instead, he passed away at 60 after less than a week in the hospital. I mourned, but it was a comfort to know he was beyond all harm. He would never be homeless or go to jail. There would be no more rejection or humiliation. No more haunting anxiety. Nothing would ever hurt him again. Please understand, I am only offering an emotional tool, of sorts. Your own situation may be too hard for such a tool to be of use. My sincere condolences.

Dear Grieving Mother, I cannot claim to know how you feel. The closest I can come is that my mother lost two children and therefore I lost two sisters but neither in the way of your loss. That is the one area in which I grieve the loss of my belief in god.......there was comfort there. I do believe that for some, that is the entirety of the basis of their belief in god or an after life.

I lost my husband and I really wanted to believe I would see him again.....still would like to truly believe that but cannot.

I have found some comfort in thinking (when I want to feel sorry for myself) that my husband is out of his pain. My husband was a Vietnam Vet and suffered from PTSD. Certainly your daughter must have been in intolerable pain to take her own life. Please fight against any guilt you may be feeling as guilt is a part of any grief. It was her choice to end her suffering. Otherwise, find someone who will allow you to freely unload your grief. A close friend is the best salve for a broken heart. If you do not ave someone like that in your life, find a good therapist. You deserve to continue your life with some happiness. I am sure your daughter did not intend that you both die together.

She simply chose to end her pain. Sorry that decision did not take into account the feelings of those she left behind. You have my sincere sympathy and hope that you can find some way to put a positive meaning to the rest of your life.

I truly feel that I can understand how you must feel. Even though it has been over twenty years since my son took his own life the pain is still there. I am reminded constantly of the loss by many small things. I know that I should look at the positive side of things. He would have been 52 years old on his birthday this Thursday. Without believing in an afterlife it is a different experience, but but it does help me understand the value of living in the present and making the best of life as we see it pass by on our clocks. Not to waste any moment, and to do as much good with what we've been given as possible.
My name is Phil and if you're interested in continuing this conversation please feel free to write back to me. I hope this might have helped you a little.

I’m so sorry you and your loved ones are going through this. I guess the only comfort we can have when someone that’s suffering (physically or mentally or emotionally) passes away, is that they’re no longer in pain.

You miss her and that's painful. Part of that pain might be subconciously feeling that she shares that pain and misses you too. take comfort from the fact that she feels no pain and does not miss you. She lives only in your heart and the smile that her memory brings to your face.

Sorry,
you have experienced my greatest fear.

We almost lost our son 3 years ago. It was the most primal state I have ever been in. I don’t think parents ever get over losing a child. The pain may lessen but it will always be there.

When I lost my 3 week old son due to SIDS, I got the same drivel. It was bad enough he died the day after my birthday, but to listen to all these empty platitudes was unbareable.

My sincerest condolances.

My brother ceased to be at age 45 by addiction and his own hand. I can’t imagine how you feel but know that you are strong and can survive this. Reach out to those you trust or seek them out.

We continue to exist in the memories of others, she left an impact on your life and on other people. So there is that. I’m very sorry to hear about your loss, I’m sure you think about this every single day.

since some are recommending books for you to read,I would ask you to find a book entitled"The afterlife of Billy Fingers",written by Annie Kagan.marvelous quick read,but if you are like me,you can find peace with this book.unlike anything I have ever read.please give it a try.It will bring tears to your eyes but you will finish in better shape than you began.peace

I am so sorry. I have recommended a book by Kay Redfield Jamison to friends in your position. If you come to a place where you may be interested, her personal struggles with Manic Depression and suicide - her own attempts and those of her patients - are documented in, Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide Take care. ?

I am sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss

Sorry to hear such, I couldn't even begin to imagine how horrible of a situation that is...Hopefully this community gives you some relief and comfort in knowing you are not alone in your struggles.

I am so very sorry. There can be no greater pain than losing your own child, at any age. The idea of an afterlife may bring comfort, of sorts, to people who believe in it, but I have my doubts that it helps very much. We who can't believe what we know is not true are minus the balm of that fantasy. To you I offer my wish that good memories of your daughter will bring you some comfort as you learn to cope with the loss of her.