Sorry you cop all this, mothers can be spiteful and cruel.
My ex is terrible ot both my kids.

My father despised me, yet I was always seeking his approval, I becamse a serious over achiever to no avail. He was into fishing, one night I caught this awesome fish, first through was that it would impress the ond man. Well it wouldn't have, and also it couldn;t have, he had been dead for 18 months at that time. Then I realised how I was so intent in gaining his approval or respect. Never happened. Some parents see us as a threat, or are jealous of us, Who knows.

Do what I did. I had not been to the family home for 20 years. 18 months ago I met with my youngest brother for coffee, went together to visit mum, and put her in a nursing home. Revenge is a dish best served cold.Just think, if all that heaven and hell wasn't just crap, my old man would be toasting marshmallows for the last 21 years.
We believe that we have to love our parents, that we owe them. We believe that they love us.
Doesn't make any of it true.
I never asked to be born, I owe them nothing.
My kids didn't ask to be born, that was my doing, my choice. So I feel a responsibility toward them. So different to teh approach from earlier generations.
Honour thy mother and thy father? Even if they are arseholes?
My advice is to giveup seeking validation from her. The lack of it is no reflection on you, just tells us a bit about her.

Sorry that is what happens in your relationship with her. I had a similar shitty relationship with my mother, it took me till I was 40 but I finally had it and cut her off completely. She passed away about 6 years later. I always knew that she loved me, but I was still her favorite whipping boy. I also think she knew damned well what she was doing but was powerless in her own mind to stop. Some things reach a point where all you can do is all you can do. I hope you find peace in your decision, whatever that may be.

Cutting off communication with my mother is one of the two best things I've ever done for my self. The divorce was the other best thing.

That really sucks, I'm sorry. I have known people like that.
My mother was one. When she did deign to speak to me, she was condescending, insulting,
and simultaneously, emotionally manipulative, cajoling, whining, and needy.
It was like dealing with schizophrenic, conjoined twins, who both had multiple personalities.
It took me decades to get past my need for her approval and validation.
I never got it from her. I feel you.

As a kid I was diagnosed with RAD. (Reactive-Attachment Disorder) I tend to get attached to people easily. Not anymore.

Talk with your best friend.

My biological father was a jerk in many ways and his inability to be a man led to years of abuse and 10-years in foster care. For years when the phone rang I would say to myself (from time to time) perhaps this is the day I'll receive that call where he will say "I don't regret you and I'm proud of you". He died on December 6, 2016 (my wife's birthday a final kick in the nuts) and while I never got that call - his death brought closure because now I no longer long for that phone call because I know that dead people can't dial the phone.

My mother is the cruise director on my guilt trip. A card & postage is my salvation on thst front.

As youknow, my first wife bears a lot of similarities in behavior to your mother. That is why I have not spoken with her -- or communicated with her in any form -- for well over 20 years. She had the ability to turn any communication into a painful disaster. I'm sorry that you have to experience that.

Were our mothers grown in the same vat? I cut mine off entirely, didn't go to her funeral when she died, and never looked back. It was my first lesson in removing toxic people from my life. I hope things get easier for you.

Wow that's awful. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. I have a friend with a mother like yours. She cut her cruel, manipulative mom out of her life many years ago and has been much happier for it. She did it as an act of self preservation and feels no guilt at all at this point although she did a little at first. I wish you all the best!

Its tuff when the guilt trip is coming from a parent. It seems like it cuts twice as deep. My Mom is quite challenging. But I love her anyways I try to just focus on the joy she brings my kids.

You could be describing my own mother here, so I truly sympathise with you.

Wow, sounds like she got her own problems to sort out. Hey, you tried sending out a peaceful wish of well being. She turned it into something else. You got more reason to drop her than befriend her.

I am sorry that you had to go through all of that. My husband has a similar situation with his parents. He still has an attachment to his parents that I don't think I will ever understand. It definitely is not easy to deal with. I hope things get easier for you.

I have similar experiences with my mother. I can relate to always hoping this time will be a good connection. so sorry

Have no expectations of your family..love or not love your family is entirely up to you..once you have decided on what you want to do... own your truth...start from the beginning based on wether you love your family or not.. then go from there...no one ever said you are unable to love or not love that which you seek..

❤ I wish I could say something to make you feel better.
Just be the good person you know you are and try not to let her guilt her way into your head. ☮

I feel for you. Sometimes you have to give yourself what you would want and need from a loved one. The heart and the mind are sometimes at odds, it's hard and heartbreaking but it can be done. Good luck.

I am sorry to hear your problems with your mom, seems a lot here are in the same boat. Wishing you and all the best.