I pass too much gas daily.

I can pick things up with my toes.

I can use the top shelves of my kitchen.

I once broke one of my mother's bones stuffing her into a Coke bottle.

I guess I should explain that.

When my mom passed years ago, she wanted her ashes scattered at the beach. Not knowing the laws regarding scattering someone's remains, I wanted to find something inconspicuous to transport her ashes in. One of her favorite things was Coca-Cola, so I funneled her ashes into three 16oz bottles that myself and two friends who were really close to her would use to take her to her final resting place. I was not aware that when a body is cremated, not quite everything actually burns up, as there were some small bone fragments left over amongst the ashes. As I funneled them into one of the bottles, one of said bone fragments got lodged in the funnel, so I had to jab someting down in there, thereby breaking said fragment to get it out...so that's how I broke one of my mother's bones stuffing her into a Coke bottle. Funny thing is, if she was still alive and could tell it, that would be the first story she told you about herself.

RIP Mom

I read "chick/lit" horror novels,

I only eat once a day. My puppy eats more than I do.

There is still glass inside my heel from stepping on a bottle when I was 14.

I shot myself in the upper lip with an arrow when I was 13 or 14. Richoceted off an Empty antifreeze jug directly back into me. Screwy, huh...

I was / am a stutterer. I stuttered terribly as a kid. I did speech therapy. I am mostly cured. I was a DJ on my college radio station and I enjoy public speaking. Every now and then, a stutter will creep in for a second or two. I slow down and it will go away.

I can't sleep if my closet door is open.

My first serious girlfriend (also the first girl I ever had sex with), my first wife, and my second wife, all were briefly waitresses at the same restaurant, though I didn't meet them there.

I cleaned under the refrigerator today.

I love to cook, but one of my favorite things to eat is sliced jalapenos with sriracha on bread.

I made a hip-hop cd with my buddy when I was 13. We released a follow-up single in 2014.

my mom and several people i know, are convinced i can talk 2 and understand animals...i did not try 2 convince them of this lol

I like to wear wo........never mind.

For some reason older/elderly people are drawn to me. I’m constantly approached in the grocery store, Target, by kid’s events, etc. my older folks. I enjoy helping and speaking with them though so it’s all good.

I can shoot a 4" grouping at 200 yds over iron sights.

My shoe size is 14 wide. Not always easy to find

As a child, my shoe size matched the grade I was in. It stopped at size 13

I went to finishing school.

I am a symbiot and my last ex is a chimera.
Me after a marine infection that is not parasitic but seems to contribute to my immune system, and she post liver transplant.

The first two, and only, times I ate an aubergine (egg plant) I had a nose bleed.

There are only four people in the UK with my second name and only one person in France with my full first and second name --- (ha ha its not rumpelstilskin)

One of my godfathers is Randi (or so says my mom).