I think these men are a little insecure. Could not handle an intelligent confident woman. That's their loss. They seem to think that controlling a woman will in some way address the insecurities they have. You're better off with out them in your life

You like to mow lawns and to work. Wow! I've always fancied being a kept man - just as long as I can do the cooking.

I have also experienced the "savior" complex in the past ten years. Not so much from strangers I haven't met yet, but from my off/on boyfriend who would wiggle back into my life, every time we broke up, under the pretense of finishing this or that project we started on my place. I learned my lesson not to take that bait again. I can do these things myself or hire/trade with someone with expertise.

I enjoy doing my own home repairs and maintenance too. Though I do them in my own time. So glad I don't need a man to help me! Though it was nice to work on things together when there was a partnership, it's not a requirement for me.

Have never had a guy tell me I wouldn't have to work, but I'm self sufficient and don't need any help financially. I prefer to take care of myself. I'm not rich, but I'm happy!

I don't get men like that.

Personally, I hope to find a lady who will support me in the manner to which I wish to become accustomed, in return for nothing more than my undying affection. And ideally I will never do yard work again in my life.

I think there needs to be some flexibility , in what you can expect of yourself and others . A relationship can begin with an intention of doing things in one manner , but if the situation changes , then the roles each plays in a relationship may need to be adjusted . If , for instance , the major bread winner becomes disabled in some manner , than who does more in bring in finances and who handles more of the at home chores , may need to reverse .

I've always been pretty independent which has been known to frustrate my father and ex-husbands. My choice is to handle my own affairs for as long as I am able. To me, it's just part of being a responsible adult, regardless of gender. I like mowing the lawn too. But just so my son can have some responsibilities around the house, I let him do it. But one morning I was compelled to spend time alone weeding the garden. A neighbor, the father of my son's friend, saw me working alone that morning and took it upon himself to scold my son the next time he saw him. Because of course, as long as there is a male in the house, a woman has no business doing yard work. Ugh! Like, what part of the penis is used to remove weeds?!

You may be seeing a different phenomenon. It may not always be what it seems.

I have often found myself offering help, attention, even protection to women in an attempt to EARN THEIR ATTENTION. Guys like me get passed-over, ignored, rejected, like dented cans on a supermarket shelf. Out of desperation I have found myself saying "I can give you a ride", or "I can fix your computer", or "call me if you need anything".

It isn't really an effective strategy, because after I've done those favors I'm alone again. Waiting to be noticed and appreciated for just being myself. Yeah, right!

Please take a look at some of your "savior" situations and see if any of them match this pattern - just a guy who needs some company and can't get it any other way.

It is a choice. I went back to work after 7 years disability - I had to support myself, but I wanted to. After 3 months on unemployment I went back to work a few weeks ago and I am so much happier to be working again, despite the pandemic. A handy guy can be a good thing or a bad thing. My exes never finished any project they started correctly. My daughter's boyfriend decided to fix my riding John Deere lawnmower by taking it apart in my driveway and never put it back together again. My new boyfriend Bob is not handy around the house but thats okay. If we someday decide to combine households we can hire someone to do whatever needs to be done.

LOL, I like to mow the lawn too but I sure do appreciate a guy that will put the belt back on for me and chang the blades.

Yes I can do those 2 things but I don't like to do them. Fortunately I have non dating friends that will help me out on those issues otherwise I'd have to buy a trailer to take my mower to town. I also either take them to dinner or cook one for them so it comes out slightly even.

I agree promising you all those proprietary caring actions while conversing on a dating site is controlling.

Naive me did not realize that when I first started dating after my husband died. I met a guy while dancing and before I knew it he had cleaned my shop, cleaned the garage, washed my car, and steamed my curtains when I complained about hating to iron them.

About 2 months into the relationship he started making comments about I don't care why you think that and then he started telling me I had said things I hadn't said. He was a little hard-of-hearing but I think the last part was because he wanted me to say certain things and he would just pretend in his head.
In other words beware of the guys who want to take care of you too quickly.

If someone wants to mow my lawn, have at it! Lol.

But insisting that a woman not work is a HUGE red flag. That’s about control. A women who doesn’t have her own finances is stuck. No thank you. I always need to be able to escape if need be. The thought of being dependent on someone is beyond terrifying.

I wonder who she’s voting for that she thinks will uphold those rights.

Narcissistic emailer male entitlement disgusts me as if females SHOULD choose these old boys for their money to own them control them isolate them disempower them ...they are offensive and should be insulted shamed and rejected making us good men lumped into the single category of suitors or lovers

I wish a woman would tell me I never have to work again. I still wouldn't marry her.