I usually agree with most of what this guy says but I'm not so sure about what he's saying here. He thinks that teaching kids about Santa Claus is wrong and should not be done. He advocates telling them up front that there is no Santa because, otherwise they'll learn all the wrong lessons and to believe in lies, laying the groundwork for religious faith.
I think we get just a few short years as kids to believe in fun magical things. I remember my years believing in Santa and I still remember them fondly. It certainly didn't lead me to eschew critical thinking and it sure as hell didn't lead me into a lifetime of religious belief.
I think it's a fun part of childhood to believe in Santa. Real life will still be there after Santa's gone and for a much longer time. Keep Jesus out of the narrative and let the kid enjoy those few short years before reality steps up and tells him the party's over.
I have no kids of my own (for complicated reasons) so I'd like to hear what you parents think and what you did. Did you let your kids believe in Santa? Did that do any harm?
I love the notion of Santa. I encouraged it with my daughter. Even today, I tell her I’d rather her believe in Santa (the concept, not the person) than a god of any form. The goodness and caring Santa represents is much better than the judgement and shame from the religious front.
The whole Santa thing..... I wish I hadn't done it, or done it more like some friends who had Santa only bring one gift. The Santa thing bothers me mostly because of its classism and materialism.
We did the christmas thing, but we opened presents on christmas eve, we never did the santa thing. It was always a fun time and we got to sleep in on Christmas day, if our son wanted to play with his presents, he could as long as he didn't wake me up. I don't think any of his friends believe in Santa after about 5.
Santa was not really discussed. When the kids were very, very, small, there was Santa in holiday parades and TV but by the time they were four they were over it. Could be because we celebrated the winter solstice and not traditional Xmas day.
Friends of ours took the stance that children should not be taught myths and children should know who pays for Xmas. My daughter feels the same.
I did not teach my kiddo about Santa Claus. She has grown into a very critical thinker.
But are the two things related? Hell, I don't know. Maybe she would have turned out the same either way. We parents like to draw all sorts of conclusions about what worked and what didn't, as though our children don't also live in a society, just like we do! It's silly, really.
Regardless, I am opposed to presenting myth as fact, especially to children. Fairy tales are fun, but they should be presented as exactly that: fun, not truth. This is how we treated the myth of the tooth fairy, and she very much enjoyed it for the myth that it is.
I have never heard a good reason to teach a child that Santa Claus is ever real or a reason why children should be lied to regarding an imaginary character. Raised my daughter without belief in either a god or Santa and she's 27 years old and was not negatively affected by not believing in a make-believe marketing tool. She had no problem as a child enjoying (not believing) in stories of magic and science-fiction. She had her favorite cartoon characters, the Powerpuff Girls and Spongebob Square pants on posters all over her room. She knew they weren't real just like she knew her dolls weren't real and it didn't hurt her ability to enjoy them in the least.
I think the video makes a good point when it says that teaching to believe in things are real of which there is no evidence is damaging a child's reasoning processes and I haven't heard a rationale argument that the lie is beneficial in any way except the market's profit margins.
I was taught Santa, but I had two older brothers, who pretty much ripped through the facade by the time I was 5. I was also becoming aware at that time that gifts came from family members. We had two gifts days: xmas eve morning at our house, then would drive to Grandparents s for holiday dinner, spend the night and have gifts xmas morning. They were marked who they were from. None of that honesty spoiled the excitement of the holiday at all. It was still my favorite holiday well into adulthood. I loved the lights, the tree decorating, the music, and the baked goods.
My child's mother had a very different experience, parents insisting on embracing the myth, and she wanted to do the same for our son. The compromise was we told the story and said we had never actually seen Santa, "... So who knows?). He took it was a puzzle to figure out, rather than as a false story from us. I still thought that game was unnecessary. I agree with Mehta in the video. We should not be reinforcing magical thinking.
Here's the rub. People who want to teach the myth were taught it themselves and equate how they remember holidays as somehow key to it being fun. But it is not necessary. The holidays are nostalgic and fun for a variety of reasons. Lying about them is not necessary. I treat Christmas stories like fairytales. Believing them is certainly not necessary for enjoying them. I like the Hobbit stories, too. That does not mean I ever actually believed them.
I raised two kids. For the first one I was a JW, so of course no Santa much less Christmas. For the second we had fun celebrating holidays including Christmas but if there was a Santa there, at least after four, I don't remember it. She didn't lose out on anything either way. I just don't see the need or purpose.
leave the magic of Santa alone . . . lots of time for bitter reality later in life
I told my kids from the time they were old enough to understand that Santa was make believe. But, we would pretend he was real. In our house, Santa only filled the stockings and we left out cookies. One year a piece of Santa's outfit got torn off and was left in our fireplace.
They had all the fun of Santa; but when they got older, they did not go through any shock that Santa was not real--they knew it all along.
Unfortunately, when they were young I still believed in God. I wish I had come to atheism a lot sooner than I did.
So the majority feel the Santa myth is unnecessary and should be avoided to mitigate any potential damage done by lying to your children. I completely understand your position and it makes sense from a rational standpoint. However, as I said, my own personal experience was very positive. It did no harm to myself, my brother, nor my sister nor to any of my friends or classmates that I was aware of.
When I was finally told the truth I wasn't upset at my parents, it didn't cross my mind I had been lied to, I was just very sad that something I had loved my whole life (up to that point) was gone. My mom explained that we'd still have Xmas like always but that the gifts would come from them like they always had. I got over it pretty quickly when Xmas did come just like always. that year and every year thereafter. So my memories are very positive and it was great while it lasted. No hard feelings at having been deceived for a few years of childhood fun.
Thanks one and all for taking the time to respond. Your input was greatly appreciated.
You said, "It did no harm to myself, my brother...", yet you went on to explain how very sad you were that something you had loved your whole life (up until the truth was revealed) was gone. It sounds like you experienced an unnecessary loss. Though you got over it quickly, still, there was some harm done, wouldn't you say?
@TMA2NC No because I explained in the initial post that the experience is remembered very fondly and I love those childhood memories. The disappointment was short lived, the memories have lasted decades.
I don't know, giving kids a happy time and memories is not that bad
Exactly.
Death explains why it is necessary to teach children to believe in "The Hog Father" (santa) in the novel of the same name.
HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
"So we can believe the big ones?"
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
"They're not the same at all!"
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"
MY POINT EXACTLY.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
Depends on the child. My son was disturbed by the idea of a stange person in our house - Santa, easter bunny, or tooth fairy - on thier own and made us swear not to go to sleep until this entity has left the house and we had locked all the doors - no fireplace in our house. So we never really played up Santa. etc. magical entities.
He didn't like oversized cartoon mascots either.
Kids will find out about Santa regardless, TV, other kids, stores, movies, up to parents to guide them and educate them, my kid knew it was a fictional character similar to the tooth fairy which society uses to spark their imagination in a whimsical way that kids understand while very young
I think Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy and The Easter Bunny....along with witches, ghosts and ghoulies at Halloween are all fine for children and are just a bit of fun and magic for them. At some time, usually from school friends, they will realise Santa and the other childhood figures are only folklore and myth, and they can then be used in discussion to illustrate the fantasy dimension of myths and legends as opposed to reality. I think it encourages critical thinking not the reverse, when children grow out of belief in them..and a parallel discussion can then be made about belief in an imaginary god and whether or not it is merely myth too.
I agree with the suggestion that we should stop telling children that Santa clause exists.
However I always rummage around for both positive and negative factors. One possible reason could be that you are teaching your child the full experience of being duped . There is rarely any malice behind parents who teach about Santa. As a parent you know that eventually they will find out -hopefully without much distress. Even if there is distress, it is a life lesson to get over it and the parents generally did not mean to be cruel.
I on balance believe that it is better to start as you mean , and your child will mean, to go on. Without lies, but how do you teach your child about being duped? It is also a lesson about fantasy versus reality which many people do not fully learn. Traveling from the UK I visited a cousin of around the same age as me who lived in Anaheim so near to Disney World. The pleasure that I had from being shown around by him was because I am sure that he had not fully grown up - but otherwise he was perfectly rational. It could have been that he was so proud of Disney World of course.