You said above- People are not always what we think they are . People’s past is unknown to us , but is y they are where they are today . Jobs performance , age , appearance , hobbies , are good perhaps criteria to choose a best friend / buddy , but not the criteria to frown upon another human , especially when u don’t know a thing about them .

That's certainly true, and perhaps one of the most moving statements on this site that I've come across in some time. Good way to be in life. We've all done some things in the past we may regret now, but mistakes and such are no reason to look down on another. I've certainly done some things in the past some folks would consider to be outrageous, and perhaps some things they wouldn't even believe that I did, lol.

Great story, and lesson.

Thank you for another vivid journey into your emotionally rich world where we can live and learn from your never ending growth as an empathetic and understanding person. Your willingness to critically acknowledge and modify an established mindset in light of additional information, as expected, demonstrates a honorable level of honesty that is seldom displayed by most. You never cease to impress. Thank you for being a beacon of hope in this raging storm of dishonesty.

On a different note, just got off the line with my hospice nurse friend. She was trying to arrange respite care for one of her patients but according to the nursing director, (confirmed by her doctor that called hospitals to look for care), all the hospital beds in the state are currently filled. The Emergency room if full and the closest hospital with room is 426 miles to Minneapolis. This small county had 118 new covid cases 7.1% testing positive today and our republican (tRump sniffing) governor still has us classified in the yellow "moderate" virus category. Local public schools are scheduled to fully open on Monday and we have protesters demanding kids should not be required to wear masks. News of the condition of hospitals has not hit the news and the state (as of now) shows we have roughly 50% hospital bed in use (less then 10% covid) Sure, many beds are empty but without nurses (many sick), entire wings are closed. Talk about lying with numbers.

Wow! Amazing story. Love the way you write it as always.
That has happened to me, I try practicing the lesson, but sometimes I fall into my old habits of labeling someone when it doesn't suit me right away.

The other night, as I was celebrating a bachelorette party with 2 friends, I met a guy. We were playing the "I dare you" card game, I needed to ask a man to dance with me. Of course, miss chatty here, (besides friending him on facebook) ended up talking more than just the game question and I learned he is a federal officer and his main area is pedophiles. I would just be in jail if that was my job.
You telling me about Sheila at age 10 - which is my son's age - just hurts me. Feels like someone is stabbing my chest and forcing me to watch what her step dad did to her.
When you hug her again, hug her from me.
And keep the awesome job!!!!

One of the things I love about you is your empathy and willingness to keep an open mind.

Thanks for the story. Mine is less like you and more like Sheila, but very different. Abused by stepfather at 3, PTSD, nightmares, quit dreaming, ignorant family (also a kind of abuse), left home totally, roamed alone, introspective, self educated, mistakes and finally found by a good woman; after 36 years with her, I feel as if I escaped from hell. The good people here on Agnostic have helped me sharpen my people skills; though, I feel closer to a hammer than a raizor.

Wow, Powerful. She is a strong woman.

I am Native American. My favorite NA saying is: Judge no one until you have walked for two moons in their moccasins.

Put another way, don't judge anyone until you know their story. And everyone has a story.

Awesome story. Thanks for sharing. I kinda grew up in circles like that. The thing I always find surprising is how many people never knew hell/craziness just from growing up. I mean, I was never sexually abused and had good parents, but we were dirt poor, evicted couple of times, had the electricity cut off more times than I can think. We lived in poor neighborhoods, ghettos. Or trailer parks. We moved a lot. And I just thought that's how most people lived. We heard stories about friends who were abused and molested. Hell, sometimes we were staying the night and saw our friends chased around by their mom being hit with a stick. It was just life. But I was always the smartest kid in the class and finally, after years of my own addictions, leveraged my intelligence to achieve success. I worked as an LVN for 12 years first, after enlisting to get away from drugs and that crowd and completing my enlistment and using the GI bill to go to nursing school. Then I burnt out and got my CS degree. And now I work in a corporate office where no one ever knew the kind of hell that I just thought was normal. And I have heard some of them talk and realize that they think that kind of hell only happens in fiction, it's all made up to make them feel guilty. And that's what I found shocking at first. That there's this whole other world were shoplifting was not a sport for 12 and under and you always got new clothes and didn't shop in thrift stores. I tell them some about my life before if it comes up but avoid a lot because they would either think differently about me or think I was lying- which happened once years ago before I realized how separated our worlds were. When I was a nurse I used to freely tell stories about my past until one day a PT got mad at me and told me to shut up, that everyone knew I was lying. I found out that a lot of them who didn't know me did think that. But now I am careful. People have their own ideas of the world and think that stuff contradictory is just lies. But usually it's not.

Take care of yourself please we need more people like you in this upside down crazy world

Aahhhh and there it is. This is what empathy looks like.
Nobody knows what any other person has been thru.....what kind of physical or emotional scars they carry around with them every. single. day. And yet, it seems like people today just want to lash out - spew hatred and contempt for what they don't understand.
"my way....or the highway". When did that become this country's mantra? We are about to descend into a very troubling and turbulent period of time for this country.....who knows what we will be at the end of it. I'm sorry to say that I don't have any warm, fuzzy feelings about the outcome.
But stories like this are important - to keep us from feeling like its all a lost cause. Glad you made a new friend.
And very glad you are my good friend...

I love you Pralina for all you do and all the lessons you share.