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Only TWO out of sixteen members of our Ethical Sluts are women. Say what?!? I'm trying to figure out what that means. Shouldn't our agnostic women be more liberated than, say, our unfortunate, sexually-repressed religious sisters? Agnostics have earned the right to be liberated. I happen to love slutty women...that is, as defined by the Hardy and Easton book, The Ethical Slut. In addition to that, I've been called a male slut at times--which I regard as a badge of honor. But I try to be ethical about my sluttiness.

mischl 8 Oct 5
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26 comments

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10

I'm so sexually liberated I don't need a label to prove it.

Leelu Level 7 Oct 5, 2020

Good for you! You're welcome to join our group and tell us some things you've learned.

@mischl Thanks but I don't need a support either. πŸ˜‰

@Leelu Even better.

9

Most people, even agnostics, have no idea what the term "ethical slut" means. The word "slut" has always been derogatory and it's not going to change any time soon. Your average person won't buy in. Also, the term "slut" is a negative connotation toward women. You're going to get a lot of push back.

Yup, as expected.

@mischl you deserve it

8

There's other reasons to not be sexually active that aren't ethics.
Medical reasons even.
Assumption is the enemy here, people don't want to have sex and that makes them prudes?
Sorry it doesn't follow.

Good questions. Notice, there are many of us here who were / might have been slutty in our younger years. But now we've veered into different, more selective lives.

8

From my experience, identifying as a "ethical slut" (or any type of slut) has men thinking that you will screw anything that slows down.

That's not me. Though I like sex, I decide who I sleep with.

Kind of like "atheist whore". The minute you tell a xtian you're an atheist they automatically think "whore". lol

That’s a very stereotypical attitude towards men.

@Gatovicolo I did say "from my experience". Your results may vary.

@kiramea stereotypical none the less.

@Gatovicolo If you say so.

@kiramea I’m glad you agree.

7

I consider myself a very sexual, very liberated woman. Do I think of myself as a slut? Hell, no! Would I want to communicate with a potential partner who came into the relationship thinking I was a slut? Hell, no! Nor do I want my man (or woman!) to call me a cunt, bitch or a whore. None of these terms is flattering in the slightest; not cute, not sexy, not appealing. I want a partner who sees me first as a human being, deserving of respect and consideration. Casual sex is no fun anymore. I used to think it was, and I did a fair amount in my younger years, but it didn't come with much honesty, or intimacy, and now those traits matter more to me.

6

I guess I am an ethical slut. I sleep with myself EVERY CHANCE I CAN!

5

I hate labels of any kind

5

I'm an ethical one-man slut. Guess that is a disappointment.

Not to that lucky man.

Not at all. I'm in the exact same situation, except I'm a one-woman slut.

5

I have no interest in reading that book but assuming all terms have their normal meaning, I resent and reject the use of the word "slut" in its entirety.

Who someone sleeps with is their business and only their business, unless they have led someone to expect their fidelity, of course.

@VeronicaAnn Yes, I don't think that works for most women. Thankfully, that doesn't satisfy a lot of men, either.

@VeronicaAnn How could there be no emotional aspect? It maybe shallow, but it’s definitely emotional. What would be the point of having sex without emotion?

4

As per definition of a slut from the creator of this group's guidelines: A slut can be either male or female. Kudos to this modern definition. that's equality in my mind.

P!nk once defined sluttiness and "the act of liking to share."

@dalefvictor I love Pink! She's a "Slut Like Me". Awesome song.

4

There are 2 forms of poly. There is polyfuckery, and polyamory. Most don't know the difference.

MizJ Level 8 Oct 6, 2020

So true. I have to explain it to potential dates all the time... I'm looking for amory not fuckery.

You will get there soon

4

I would guess it is because women who self identify as slutty or kinky TEND to get men that have no respect for boundaries or decorum and start sexual chats right away or sending dck pics or nudes.... you have nobody to blame but your fellow slutty men! Call them out and maybe women will feel safer in that group. Just my 2 cents

Maybe...and maybe not. I've (happily) known a few ethical female sluts, and they seemed to be quite selective about the men they chose to be slutty with.

I am not saying who women choose to be sexually active with is the issue... I am saying specifically to your online group there are reasons women don't openly join and then I outlined some potential reasons above. We need to distinguish your online group VS in real life actions.

4

Oh the immorality! Better to be an unscrupulous slut than an ethical one.

3

Both sexes can be slutty.

True ,love the ethical part as one is just not hopping about ,but if you call your partner a slut or yourself it should only be said in admiration to them ,that you are ok with it and completely happy that they are what they are and allow themselves to enjoy with out shame

3

The is nothing ethical about sluttiness, nothing.

i beg to differ in that opinion

2

I haven't read the book but I just searched and read about it. Written by two women, it has great reviews from Goodreads, Barns&Noble and Google. It has been adapted to film, TV series and theater. Translated into French, Spanish, Italian, German and Russian. The Lady authors define the term slut as "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you."
Well, like any lifestyle, it's a choice for those who like it, it's a free world!

That fails to explain the "ethical" part (and the "unethical" implication).

2

I don't really qualify. I'm ethical, but I only aspire to be a slut.

2

Ya damn slut!

Haha! Thank you.

1

Part of the problem is the name itself.
SLUTS? Too much baggage to get past.
I've long lobbied for 'La Femme Boheme,' but with no success.

The two ladies who wrote The Ethical Slut were making an attempt to reclaim the word.

@mischl I know; I personally think the word cannot be saved.
It seems to be a throwback to a time when emancipated women--who do whatever the hell they want--were thought of lesser stature than women who bowed subserviently before the patriarchy.
Many still do, but we're not talking about them, are we?

1

Slut is a very ugly word that says more about the person who chooses to use it aggressively, than it does about the object of their scorn.

1

Somewhere on some forum, I do not recall where at the moment, some woman was saying that the difference between men and women was that women go to bed with who they want to, and that men go to bed with whomever they can. My comeback to that was, "If that is true, why are there prostitutes, and, how do men stay married? She was overly generalizing.
.
Each person has their own modus operandi, often based on their history, psychological make-up, etc.
.
My father was a jackass who thought with the wrong head if you know what I mean, a child molester, and, I never wanted to be like him, throughout my life, there have been many opportunities that presented themselves, but I didn't most of the time, because I act much more out of logic than emotion. Adding to that, I was determined NOT to have kids, because I did not want to even give chance to the possibility of being abusive to any children, because as we all know, children often follow their parents in behavior . . . (I also have a pretty dark view of the world in general, and bringing kids into it seems only egotistical at best if you see the world as it really is.) definitely not always though, as I can well attest. I also think that I have a lot of self-discipline, kind of like one of the old Roman generals, and priorities in career way outweighed any idea of a relationship by the time I reached about the age of 40. Even if I were to meet someone I did like a lot now, it will always be friends first, because I just hate the idea of jumping into something that could prove to be a life changer in a BAD way. If I decide to change my ways, it will be when I have one foot in the grave, that way I have a good, clear, escape route!

1

Thanks, but no thanks.

Ah. Come on. You don’t want to be passed around!πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

@Gatovicolo I'm not even the Polyamorous kind. One is more than enough if I'd ever find him.

@Larimar me too.

0

Ah, the s word.

0

Maybe the women don't need a group to be an ethical slut? What is their incentive to join and share with you?

Because it's a place to be comfortable being open about one's sexuality. It's a group where women aren't judged because they want or have multiple partners. Ethical sluts are judged in the general population and can't discuss their lifestyle with others. It's not a lifestyle that is accepted in general.

@Wildflower I guess I should have emphasized the "TO YOU" part (to the original OP).

@AtheistInNC the "to you" part? Not sure what that means.

@Wildflower I cannot really agree with you there. Maybe in the older generation but young people usually don’t care.

@Jolanta you are right about that. I feel much more comfortable and open with younger generations because I can be myself without judgement from them.

0

Proselytising whores abound, where can they be?

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