It's not your fault, it sucks.

Eventually you are going to hurt his feelings. Would you rather it be a little now or a lot later?

I feel ya. Just let him down gently and move on. There's an interesting loyal one out there waiting for you ❤❤

I feel your pain! I'm not going to tell you to hang in there. Just keep your sense of humor!
I have a local admirer that I can't shake even by being totally blunt. When I run into him he insists I go to dinner with him and told me "Your not THAT bad looking and you're sure a HARD worker!"
Dude you're slaying me. LMBO.

Nah, that's not a screw up, and I should know, I am the expert.
You have gotten to know him, you now know more than you did and you now know he is not for you.
Easy.
You can't help his hurt feelings, that indicates you also know he is immature. Just be honest, don't draw it out.

Hey, c'mon… I'm not that boring. Sheesh! ? (Kidding, kidding… I'm totally that boring.)

Are you sure he's dim and dull? Or is he perhaps nervous and hasn't really opened up yet? I've known a few people like that who were actually quite engaging once you got them to loosen up a little, but they seemed to be a little stupid and uninteresting until they felt that level of comfort.

I wouldn't call it screwing up...I'd call it 'typical online dating'. Fun fact dating is literally just learning about a person until you either realize you don't like them, or marry them

Blindbird, no need to chat so long online. Be firm in screening guys about marital status. That's a non-negotiable. And, nice guys have been hurt, too. They need encouragement, not judgement. Two dimentionally, we all look great or suck. It's in the meeting that you find whether the idiosyncracies are non-negotiables or a pass.

And, don't be so hard on yourself...or him. Dating isn't for the faint of heart but I don't think it's what we all make it out to be either. if you're dating with expectations, can you drop those? Dating at its best is about finding a needle in a haystack and that can be exhausting OR you can see it as sharpening your skills, finding out about yourself, interacting with others in a fun, lite OR meaningful way if you let it, one or another needs it.

My one non-negotiable is prejudice: antisemitism and other forms of hate. Otherwise I'm just enjoying being immersed in humanity. Maybe I thrive on variety. And maybe I wouldn't recognize my next partner if they were sitting in front of me because by now I'm enjoying the journey, My journey.

You have a lot to offer the right person. But, along the way, you have a lot to offer the frogs, too.

You didn't screw up. Dating in general is a learning process, and you learned that are not compatible with this man.I dated a guy before I met my husband that I met online. When we were online talking he was engaging and intelligent, but when we met face to face he wouldn't say more than two words to me. At first I thought that he didn't like me once he had met me in person, but when we conversed online again he told me how pretty and intelligent I was, and how much he enjoyed my company. I went out with him a couple more times with the same results and then finally invited him to my dorm room for takeout and a movie. I thought that maybe if we were alone he might open up more, but he sat across the room from me, and again didn't talk. I just couldn't do it anymore, and I very carefully told him that it just wasn't going to work. It's never easy feeling as if you are hurting someone else, but if it were me I would rather be told that things weren't working out than not knowing the truth of how the other person felt.

Girl, you're golden! Dating is about getting to know someone and if you feel you know enough about him, then that's it. We are all responsible for our own feelings and no one you or him are at fault. It just isn't meant to be. Be honest and end it. Then move on. It may sound ruthless but it is how this dating thing works anymore. I heard this somewhere - No means, Next Opportunity. As corny as it may sound, try to look at the bright side. One more obstacle cleared from the path leading you to Mr Right. LOL Ok, I'll stop with the corniness.

Sorry blindbird...good hunting.

? I don’t have to worry about that. I send PMs out then I see they come to my profile but I never get responses. I guess it’s like saying "Piss off" only nicer.......

Yeah it's hard I know. The most difficult part is not making a decision from that place of lonelines and unhealthy need. Peace.

Maybe a casual question like,"Do you slide toward the slingblade? Or shmoooze over to a herb tarlek?"

I have a totally awesome stamp collection which you should see. Also an extensive coin collection. And my Dylan bootleg back catalogue is amazing. We should drink some port and listen to it.

Have I bored you witless yet?

Ugh. Dating. Christ in a sidecar, there are few tortures devised in history to exceed the horror of dating.

I'm just sounding off here; I don't have any answers, but at least you quickly worked out he is as boring as batshit, right? That is a good thing.

Oh, I am single, agnostic and I like to cook. Just for your information

Too bad all the good guys are really old... lol

Finding a perfect connection is practically impossible. No matter who you find, you will find certain aspects of their personality that irritate you. It's a sad fact of life. It's not your fault if you aren't attracted to the guy. Let him know how you feel, and if he freaks out, then you know you actually dodged a bullet. If he accepts how you feel, then you know that he's at least good friendship material. You just need to keep looking until you find someone that is more compatible. (...And please don't lump in all nice guys in with this bad experience. There are nice guys that can interest you on an intellectual level.)

You have not screwed up it is just that this guy is not for you and I do agree that it is hard to find somebody that you are going to click with on a dating site and that is why they are on a dating site,As for hurting his feelings do not feel bad about it he is on a dating site for a reason and maybe he bores the shit out of everybody he meets so he will not be surprised if you disconnect from him.There are plenty of nice guys in this world but most of them are taken because they are nice you will just have to persevere until the right one comes along.Some women also expect perfection and we all know that everybody has faults so maybe you need to lower your expectations and try and try again until you find someone who really is a nice guy and not all guys are out to cheat on their spouses.

@Blindbird The attractive part of website dating is that you would never ever get to 'meet' as many people in real life as you can online. The disadvantage of course is that with the greater number of people you can interact with online comes increased odds that your ideal 'target' personality may show up occasionally with warts and instability. Until I'm hooked up tight with a future partner, I'll still dabble in the online scene...because you just don't know when or where that knockout punch will come from that lands to the heart. I'm hoping at this stage I've learned enough to know when to pull the plug, just like you did.

Good luck.

It's a numbers game, just like IRL.

Your not wrong, I found it no different from the male perspective... either they want to get Uber serious out of the gate or they are looking for a preconceived perfection that nobody could fit. I’m in the no expectations zone... I’m not here to date, actually I’ve started seeing someone and we will see how it goes... she isn’t the normal hipppie type I usually am attracted to but then in the long run that has not gone that well. I don’t cheat but have been cheated on and I’m weary and wary of it all... going with the flow and doing my best not to be attached to a particular outcome is how I plan to move forward. I’ve finally learned my happiness is my responsibility, if someone else who is already happy wants to be happy together that will be grand. I have nothing in common with the girl I’m seeing and so far that has not been a problem.

Tell him you have to sign off because your water broke.

The "Eternal" struggle, lol ??

Not much to say about the guys trying to cheat.
As for the possibly ok guys, who just seem lame, maybe it's an online thing?
I tend to be funny, outgoing and kind of a flirt in person, but online I feel pretty lame a lot.
Like in chats, wondering what to say. Wondering if the last message was lame and boring the shit out of the other person. lol
Lack of interests is telling though. You've tried to draw him out a bit?