Dear Ms. Organist,

I feel for you....just wanting to expand your social options. No harm there

But going forward, if you socialize with a married guy again, hook up for real. I mean really hookup.Go for ALL of it !
Have a HOT affair ....break up the marriage. Destroy his relationship with his kids. Get his money too. Like a man, you can be a lover and scoundrel !!
Be that OTHER WOMAN !
Go all the way and then some...include the wife and any other girlfriends in the bedroom antics.

YOLO Baby !

Sincerely, your love guidance counselor,
Dr. Thomas Twill

Wow. I'm glad he was honest and I'm glad you stuck to your resolve not to let the relationship go further than you intended. He didn't listen or honor the wishes you stated originally.

He likely wanted "action" and likely felt he could wear you down with some patience and a romantic memory of a "one month friendiversary" and all that sounds like communication could sort that out. But the threat of him saying bad things about YOU, when it was HIM that was misbehaving or wanting to, says a lot about him. Glad you cut him out of your life.

Seems he might have a control issue, which perhaps why he wasn't into the BDSM with his wife. Perhaps he wants to control someone who doesn't want to be controlled. That's no fun.

It's a shame that your practice went to waste for the performance you were going to do together, but that seems a necessary sacrifice, a little graze of the bullet as you dodged it.

Write everything down right now while your memory is fresh. If he does start stalking you or anything you will have a detailed record of your interactions.

Living proof that you have to go by actions later, rather than simply taking someone's word early on, about how they feel, what they expect, and what they will do if things go sour. This guy was thoroughly disappointing in all of those areas compared to what he led you with. Lesson learned, I'm sure. Hang in there and keep trying with men who are truly single and emotionally healthy, as well as available in all ways. Maybe the lesson, as you say, is never to even try dating casual with a married man, no matter what their situation....

You dodged not only a bullet but a mental bomber and a psycho.

The organist
Was quite off pissed
At suitors poetic
Unsuited noetic

With deepest apologies to Edmund Clerihew Bentley

A newly encountered woman recently spent 3 or 4 hours conversing. She moved several thousand miles a couple of years ago to escape a toxic violent relationship. A week later her best friend left behind suicided incompletely (brain but not body dead from overdosing on stolen & hoarded insulin. 3 children). She however left her bf as executor.
Either my new acquaintance is incredibly mentally strong or has had some very powerful therapy.
She claimed however that she has learnt not to allow such thugs as the ex bf to have free real estate in her brain by thinking about possible future stalkings or physical violence. IMO good sop - deal with tomorrow's problem when it arrives & until then seize the day.

Have you read my post #MagicPudding?

Give him a wide berth!!! Their are two divorce issues here. 1. He is not divorced. 2. He is divorced from reality.