@Blindbird Hope I wasn't too bossy or preachy with this. I was just trying to imagine if I had a daughter and what I would say to her.

Women are well aware,thank you. Again I will state "if you wouldn't caution your sons against a certain behaviour, don't lay that extra weight on your daughters". I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that you,too,have drank the paternalist kool-aid.

@kmdskit3 not bossy or preachy but its pretty obvious that you've bought into the "women are helpless and must be extra scared of everything all the time" trope. Do you not see your bias here? You're literally arguing that women MUST be more fearful, more cautious because we're just sooooo much more vulnerable. It's like you've completely missed the point.

@Blindbird Don't think I missed your point. Don't want to put constraints on women. Do you not think my comparison to African American males being cautious around cops is valid? If so why not? "...women are helpless and must be extra scared all the time" , "women MUST be more fearful" and "we're just sooooo much more vulnerable" all go a great deal farther than anything I said.

@kmdskit3 nope. I'm exaggerating for effect because you aren't seeing your bias here. Look at the rest of the comments. Do you see women saying "oh no the dangers are so very real". No instead you've got men and ONLY men perpetuating this myth. If all the dangers we're warned about are so real don't you think women would be on here telling me I'm crazy and sharing their stories? I do. But I don't see that. This sir, is mansplaining at its finest. Men telling women that their experiences as women are invalid and wrong and "we just don't know better". Wake up and smell the coffee buddy.

@Blindbird uummm, i see about everyother post from women telling yu the dangers are real, they teach their daughters to be aware, hey stay aware. You are willfully not seeing it, everyone is concerned for hhou/about you...

Horseshit. If you're talking a trip to India or Pakistan, sure, there are extra dangers for women because the society there is deeply misogynistic. As others on here have , you have completely missed the point. What I am saying is that these "terrible dangers" that lurk for women who do things and go places where they "shouldn't" are mostly illusory. It's as false as the " dangerous black man" trope. Its lies we've been told our entire lives to keep us scared and quiet and separate. You've drank the kool-aid and you don't even see it. You just ASSUME its true because thats what you've been told.

@Blindbird Ive drank the kool aid? Ive been a guy my entire life. Heard how guys talk, seen how they act when drunk. Know gals who have been roofied. Know ones that have been raped. Guess how many guys I know that I can say that of? You speak of your own experience only, as though that negates all the bad shit that happens to others. It's a very ignorant way to see the world.

@MrBrightSide and I've been a woman my entire life and I know for a fact that raising women to be fearful and afraid of making their own decisions and yes, mistakes turns them into emotional cripples. Furthermore I'll point out that the sort of behaviour you're describing is best curbed by attending to the minds and actions of the PERPETRATORS and not the victims.

@MrBrightSide You hang around with some real winners! One thing you should do, instead of putting down a woman standing up for herself, is if you witness guys behaving the way you describe, call them on it! Stop it! I've been a guy my entire life, also! Lived on the streets for a time. Did a stint in the Navy. Worked carnivals for 5 yrs. Been back & forth across this country & Canada a few times & probably have a few more years under my belt than you do, & one of the reasons that guys will even try any of that shit at all is because they are too often either patted on the back for it or at the least, tolerated! That is the biggest problem. Men need to become actual adult men! Temporary end of rant!

@phxbillcee I don't recall saying I hung out with those type ? nor do I recall putting her down? Disagreeing and putting down her outlook and this topic, maybe. Rest of it I agree with, people in general need to stop in if they see someone being harassed and a lot of our population would be better off if they matured.

@phxbillcee, @Blindbird As far as tending to the perpetrators, that is easier said than done. We don't know who someone is by just looking at them and people can easily hide bad intentions. All we can do is try to advise caution to our loved ones and steer them away from potentially bad situations. I see nothing wrong with that.

@MrBrightSide and yet you stated that you have repeatedly seen and heard those behaviours/statements from other men. As was pointed out, the most effective way to curb that sort of thing is calling out and condemning those who do or say such things. Maybe if they hear other men tell them its wrong they'll listen since y'all don't seem to put much stock in what women have to say.

It's common sense and a respect for the laws of physics.

Excellent answer....specially dedicated to those who vest their very own fears on -specially- their kids.

@DuchessNyx thank you. I'm very begining to suspect the blindness and unwillingness to hear are willful.

@DuchessNyx Maybe you’re being overly sensitive. We (as men) are advised to do and not to do certain things. Don’t hang around dodgy areas showing off cash. Don’t mess with gangs. Don’t pick fights with idiots. And literally hundreds of other things. I don’t presume this to be sexist. Why do you?

@KenG because on TOP of those things we're also told not to do very common and neccesary things likeress a certain way, walk down the street, talk to strangers, be a prude, be a slut, be a bitch, be fat, be skinny, be black the list goes on and on and on of things women MUST not do if they don't want to be victims.

And none of it works anyway. Nuns and old women and small children,plain girls and fat girls, girls wearing skirts or pants make up or no make up all end up being raped just the same. All of these things we're told not to do and options we're forbidden from taking for safeties sake DON'T ACTUALLY OFFER any guarantee of security. The only things that prevent rape are a lack of rapists and intended victims that can successfully fight back.

@DuchessNyx I read her point of view and disagreed. I think I’m still allowed to even in these times. ???

@DuchessNyx Consider this. Would you NOT advise your daughter to walk home, late at night, alone, after being to a party, possibly a bit drunk, and to take a short-cut down a deserted, virtually unlit, path beside a canal or through a wood? Common sense says you would tend to advise daughters about this type of risk more than sons.

@DuchessNyx My parents cautioned my two sisters - myself and my brother equally about dangers. This in the 1970's!

@Blindbird Most crimes are about anger.
Particularly rape!

All that stuff about what to do and not to do for women's behavior is just ridiculous (and has been proven so wrong as you said because it has nothing to do with age range or dress or anything of that kind) and acting like we can predict that is just not the way to raise healthy kids.

I'll tell you my objection: I took as an offense when a person told me "Don't teach in NYC; is dangerous." / or when another said to me "Don't go to that shopping area after dark.".....These advise imply that I am a moron and that I am not aware of my surroundings. Please, people who attempt to vest their fears on others are toxic.

Honest concern isn't offensive. Concern trolling and curtailing of my (and other womens)lifes options IS.

@Blindbird who, exactly, is "curtailing" your activities? And concern is a lovely thing for others to show to you! Maybe you should read/watch "Looking for Mr. Goodbar", and see yourself? You seem intent on proving something, I am not sure what.....

Wow. When YOU think it is appropriate. Because THEY are women. And seemingly unable to figure shit out for themselves. Yep, that is sexist.

@sarahjustme Perhaps it is just the wording. I guess I read a bit more into it, the language coupled with not caring about how the daughter and wife feel. Does not sound very egalitarian.

Right? Fuck that shit.

And yet many women regret that and are troubled that they feel they can't do these things. Being aware of your surroundings and having some self defense know how is huge. Sadly most women don't seek these options out until after they're victimised. If we treated girls as we do boys, teqching them self defense as part of the parenting process,it opens their worlds up.

@Blindbird Teaching them self respect is a biggy too and helps towards avoiding bad situations. I can't say my parents had anything to do with it, but other people made me stronger.

That's entirely possible. It's also possible people just arent as bad as we've been led to believe.

@Blindbird my dear you didn't grow up howI did then...molestation, that I can remember, started at age 3. It went on for more than a decade with rapes in between. Been raped as an adult 3 separate times. The last a few months ago. In my book most people will do whatever they can if getting caught isn't on the table.

@ashortbeauty Please get Mace instead of a knife. A knife unless you've been well trained - can be turned against you.

@ashortbeauty. I was molested as a child, as were a large number of my cousins. I have been raped as an adult. I know how awful people can be but I also know that MOST people are not that awful. I know that my behaviour didn't bring about any of the abuse that I endured. The actions were the choice of my attackers and while they may have loved to lay blame at my feet. Its just not true. The things women do do not CAUSE us to be raped.

@Blindbird I agree we didn't cause it. I just disagree that most people are inherently nice

Actually the average woman CAN beat up the average man. All it takes is some general self defense. But you want to be a helpless little woman go right ahead. (P.s. a woman armed with a gun is 46 times more likely to be shot by their partner)

Uh there is no "natural tendancy to protect weaker counterparts". The popularity of domestic violence alone tells us That's untrue.

My husband and my brothers will fyck anybody up over me...
Bad people are everywhere, men and women.
But here's facts..
Can a random biological woman come and beat up any random man?...no.

Because men have an external strength that women cannot naturally possess.

Can a biological man give birth? No

Because women have an internal strength than men do not naturally possess.

Instead of bickering about our differences, why not celebrate that we need eachother to survive?

And had she been a man , I suspect you would have said the same. Those are not the kinds of warnings I'm addressing here. I'm all for common sense and reasonable safety measures, for everyone.

Yes and dealing with reality is for everyone. Women should not live in clouds of fear afraid to do the things they'd like because it "might draw the wrong sort of attention".

This is something I really love about millenials. So many of them have been raised fearless. They're not scared to do the same things their brothers and friends do and lo and behold they're enjoying their lives, doing what makes them happy and staying safe all at the same time.

@Blindbird I travel alone in a small RV, park & sleep wherever I am tired (that the cops won't roust me). You act like women who take common sense precautions are craven, "huddling indoors", etc. That is At Least as offensive ss what you claim men do!

A perfect example of letting sensationalist media unduly color your perception of the world.

@Blindbird lol. Ok. Tell that to the thousands of homicide detectives who are gainfully employed. Your free to be as careless as you wish. Hope life continues to be on your side as you take unnecessary risks with it.

But you're probably right... The 11 years I spent in combat zones and the 6 years I spent as a homicide detectives on a police force have probably "unduly colored" my perception of the world.

As do some men, hence my comment about not putting more pressure on women than men about personal safety. Also yet ANOTHER man telling me I don't know what I'm talking about. Love how having a penis gives y'all all the answers.

It's not a penis that helps, it's the ability to reason. Most women are physically weaker than most men, and in our jungle of a world that makes them a more tempting target. Of course if the woman is wise enough to carry a concealed weapon, that might move the odds in her favor.

How so? I would respond but I find your criticism nebulous at best.

WTF!!! She shouldn't make her own decisions?!?! That's her point! What country do you live in? Seriously, 'cause it doesn't sound like Amerika to me!