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I am disappointed in myself, but feel the best choice was made.

A homeless gentleman settled himself into the small Wilderness Area across the street from me. It made me feel uncomfortable, but knowing this is probably an over reaction, I decided to bring him some food and water and to greet him.

I made sure to announce my presence well before I violated the space he had created for himself and I could tell he was a bit apprehensive.

After he decided my intentions were pure, he asked if I had some water and I handed it too him. He was clearly dehydrated and drank both bottles in seconds.

He was acting irradically, like he was afflicted with both Parkinson's Disease and Schizophrenia and I was nervous. He began picking up anything sharp and moving them away from area, assuring me they weren't weapons and I was put at ease a bit by the gesture.

He then informed me he didn't want the food, but asked if I could spend 5 minutes of my time with him and I obliged. When I tried to make small talk, he started to converse normally, then he barked, " be quiet, don't talk!" So I tried to just listen while he talked irradically, never once looking up at me while he was looking for his cross, which he evidently lost in the dirt. He could not be still and his hands were set in an unnatural position, which he didn't have full control over.

I again began small talk, asking him if he was local trying to keep my voice low and we had three sentences of back and forth before he again snapped at me.

I had told him that I originated from Michigan and the man picked up two pieces of long pointed plexiglass that were scavenged from the area. He overlapped them and said they were Michigan and I waited for him to make a point. Instead he became angry smacking the two pieces together saying, " see, see, Michigan, it's Michigan, you're from Michigan, see?" I didnt, but didn't want to annoy him, so remained quiet. He then came towards me, swinging the shard of plastic irradically, which made me extremely nervous and I tried to keep a distance, without seeming fearful. I don't believe he intended harm, but he acted like Gollum from Lord of the Rings and had to calm himself down a few times. He was talking to himself, but was noticeably frustrated with himself, because he could not communicate his thoughts. I was afraid he was hearing voices in his head that may not have good intentions.

He put the shard down, but went and picked up one of the knives and its shealth. He was coming towards me, it looked like he was trying to put the knife in the shealth, but I don't believe I can trust him at this point.

I decided to leave...He tried to stop me and assure me he meant no harm, but the stress was too much. He yelled, " then take your food, I don't need it". He surely did and was just hurt. I am assuming that everyone treats him like a pariah and I didn't want to be that person as well, but felt Nietzsche's and my safety wasn't assured, so I just got out of there.

I am upset with myself, because I judged him by his condition and was unable to get through to his character. I am upset with society, because this is the real reason we should be paying taxes. Not for smooth roads, but to take care of those that cannot function within the box society forces us all to live inside of.

I decided that he was no harm from a distance and that calling the Police wasn't a good option. His behavior could cause them to shoot him. The issue is, we have many shelters and initiatives to help the homeless, but no one to call, which will come out with the expertise to handle this type of need.

I don't see him today and hope if he moved on that he took the food with him. I will be checking in a little while.

NotConvinced 7 Apr 24
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5 comments

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0

As difficult as it may have been, you made the right decision to vacate the premises, risking your safety is simply not worth it. It is equally difficult having your kind gesture rejected in such a manner, but some people out there just refuse the help from anyone else no matter the situation. As painful as it can be at times, there are some things in life that just cannot be helped, and I more or less was forced to realize and accept this at a young age. Life can be rewarding and gratifying to some, and agony and gratuitous misery for others, because life itself is random and unpredictable.

1

We have a great need for someone like you wanted to call but there is no money and unfortunately the dems caring about their personal freedoms did away with work farms that took care of these type of people many years ago. There is a great need to regenerate these types of homes for the mentally ill and homeless. At least they had shelter ,food and medical care.In addition it gave them a reason to live a life with some purpose.

1

You did your best, but your safety is important too. Don't beat your self up over it! You are one of the few people that would have done that act of kindness.

JK666 Level 7 Apr 24, 2018
2

It's pretty sad that as a society we don't take better care of people. I'd rather my tax dollars go to care for people than to put more in the pockets of those who clearly don't need it.
You did a good thing, don't beat yourself up. Like you said though calling the police would have probably gotten him killed.

1

So many of the homeless I saw everyday in Las Vegas a few months ago seemed mentally ill. I wouldn't get close again.

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