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So I have a question about friendships between introverts and extroverts. I'm an extrovert and I like claiming introverts as my friends. I just find an introvert and decide they're my friend and I'm going to talk to them and hang out. Is this scary for introverts? I always try to be mindful of when they say "no" to hanging out and when they need quiet time...but am I freaking them out and they're just too polite to say so? Introvert input much appreciated!

Pips 5 Apr 24
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38 comments (26 - 38)

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1

Kind of depends on the person and the context. As long as you respect the boundaries they put down, odds are good you're occasionally more than can be handled but both alleviate the pressure of initiating social interaction and provide the comfort of an actively interested person.

1

From my perspective as an introvert, no, your approach is fine. Please know though that being introverted and being shy, while sometimes go together, are two different things. I'm introverted in the sense that I'm not a big talker most of the time, and enjoy my alone time. With that much said, I'm far from being shy, and under most circumstances would gladly carry a conversation with someone if they addressed me first. Truth be told, I could never qualify as shy, as some of the things I've done in the past would be rated X😉

@Pips I suppose one could be extroverted in the sense they could be talkative about certain things, but shy away from discussing other topics.

@Pips absolutely one can be extroverted and shy. The extroversion is indicative of the shyness. Babbling is as much a sign of shyness as clamping up.

1

I wouldn't answer the phone in the first place ?

1

I'm an introvert and I understand what you're saying. I definitely feel like I get claimed by extroverts. To be honest, I usually try to hide. Please don't just drop by or tell me you're coming over without an invitation. That drives me crazy. Lol! Guess it depends on the person, but that's how I feel. On the other hand, I'm a lot more social thanks to the extroverts in my life.

1

Maybe you enjoy being with introverts because you feel you can control them. (This would be subconscious, I’m not saying you’re purposely doing this). Control over others is enjoyable even though we may not realise what we’re doing.

KenG Level 6 Apr 24, 2018

This is true but I hope that's not what she is doing. I hope she cares about them.

Instantly thought of fifty shades lol

1

As an introverted Extrovert I can say from experience that you need to tread lightly with some introverts and respect their privacy or you can find you have run roughshod over them without even realizing it. I like smaller groups of interesting friends in laid back environments because I am the focus of attention and leadership in my professional life and extremely outgoing in that part of my life, so I understand both sides of the issue. Not all introverts want to come out of their comfort zone and not all party animals want to party all the time, sometimes it is just nice to be left alone with a good book or a few good friends in quiet conversation. If you are asking the question then you have probably crossed that line with an introvert, if so then don't worry too much as introverts can be extremely strong in ways that extroverts find challenging but ease up in the future with someone who may have found you too intense. Maybe it was just bad timing but you can always back it up a bit and try again later.

Balance is definitely key n everyone is different on that scale?

I find it interesting when I hook into a person who is introverted and seems to be reserved to the point of timidity but is actually more of a combination of viper and chess master, tread lightly with those introverts as you may think that you are running the show but in reality you are just dinner waiting to be served. 😀

1

Yes. Especially pretty ones

0

Because you are a narcissist and they make you feel good about yourself.

0

I'm an introvert who prefers to be an extrovert. When in the right situation I can be an extrovert, but I'm usually an introvert. To answer your question, you might be freaking some out, but certainly not all of them. Just don't be obnoxious.

0

they need help to socialize. don't let them get off so easy.

@sarahjustme not all of you are natural introverts. And total introversion is simply just depression.

0

I'm an ambivert. I have one introvert friend and the rest are extroverts.

0

who knows if they're not honest with you. it's not your problem.

0

But do they consider you their friend? I personally find very extroverted people so exhausting that I can't put in the time to know them well enough to consider them my friend.

GwenC Level 7 Apr 24, 2018
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